Thursday, December 31, 2020
PRINCESS PIRATE 2020
Negotiates her birthday party to an all day affair when all her friends can't come at the same time, according to her pre-party survey. Result: 9 am to 8 pm! Cat breeds with Athina. Royal dressup (girls and stuffies) with Cynthia.
After buying her a new pair of skates to replace those that were too small for her: "Don't make me go skating today. It'll ruin my birthday!"
Having an afternoon snack while I drink a cinnamon spice tea, while plugging her nose: "That stinks like a skunk, eating cinnamon".
"I have a nose that's a combination of your nose and my dad's nose. I smell too well, like you, but I don't know what I am smelling, like dad!"
Climbing snow mountains made by snowplows in parking lots: sliding down after ice clumps aka "gems".
Still taking baths with Ariel mermaid, pitchers, and other water toys.
Reading together Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. On her own reading the Wings of Fire series.
Drawing a character for French class: a Austrian princess going on her last trip before becoming queen.
Screen shots of four post medieval beds from french Chateau.
While talking to neighbour Vicky with two dogs, I turn around to find she is laying supine on the snow covered street in front of our house, oblivious to traffic. Afterwards, when asked why, she said one of the dogs looked cold, and she was offering up her body to stand on while we talked!
Lipgloss and eye shadow on her way to school.
Overusing the word random, for things that aren't random.
Playing outside in the snow: somersaulting backwards off of a hill off the driveway, laying curled up under the table on the deck, covered in snow when you re-enter.
Writing about "A"; telling a story about him having a concussion and calling attention away from him by referring to him as "some random kid".
Colouring a picture of A and his concussion. Sketching him and his smile.
Making a poster against idling at your dad's work when Greta Thunberg came to town (September 27, 2019), showing it on the way home to some strangers in the across the street neighbour's driveway, then worrying that they would follow you, so taking the back way around the house, and going down to the basement, changing your ponytail to the side and turning your coat inside out and putting on a mask to disguise yourself, then vowing never to do it again. (You told this story to me today, which explains why I found your poster high in your closet, hidden away, months ago).
Reading out loud in French class!
Saying no to building a snowman!
Flu - she sleeps for 4 days, and doesn't even complain when I suggest she doesn't go to school. Her fever breaks on Tuesday but she asks not to go to school on Wednesday. I know without a doubt that she is not feeling well if she doesn't want to go to school! Usually that's not going to happen! (Maybe now she will wash her hands before eating lunch?)
Using the microwave and frother for an elaborate tepid chocolate milk, with cocoa and sugar 1:3 from scratch.
Climbing banks of snow.
Battling monsters and teaching mythical creatures with a sword, running around the Terra Cotta Woods, in Tierwelt and Terra Aragon, and the back yard.
Mourning school closure due to COVID-19. Missing not only friends, but those who aren't friends.
Dressed up, prepared and on time for zoom classes.
Making mint/lemon thyme water and chives on meals as soon as the garden grows.
Building a fort behind the shed, and reinforcing it with leftover clothesline and the hard wood of cut down maples.
Breaks her ankle jumping of piles of gravel from street construction, making swimming and hiking a brief, but end of summer event.
Prepares for our road trip, reluctantly leaving crutches behind, and having prepared an activity package with things to do and a page a day to write a journal in.
Proves herself to be teenager, needing wifi every 2-3 days on our camping trip minimum!
Hikes her first Charlevoix mountain in Grand-Jardins park just after getting the okay to take off her walking cast.
She’s willing to be homeless and risk sleeping in the car in order to take a three week trip of a lifetime up and down the Gaspé Coast, through Charlevoix, along the Saguenay, and around Lac St. Jean to La Mauricie and South shore.
Swims in the blueberry coloured Lac Saint Jean, walks through tidal pools and snorkels in Yamaska Lake, relentlessly attempting to catch minnows that always elude her.
Finally learns to use literally in a literal, not figurative, way!
Goes back to school with masks and COVID madness, and makes it work.
After school with Cynthia, with snacks.
First opera: La Boheme by Puccini
First live musical: Hamilton
Not going halloweening!
Eats and enjoys chickpea pumpkin curry.
Beets and butternut squash are good!
First one-handed cartwheel in the basement!
Making her first batch of crêpes by herself and all of them were beautiful and better than mine!
Making pesto pizza by herself.
Matching pyjamas with her Maplelea doll Brianne with dancing polar bears and glow-in-the-dark Northern lights for Christmas
Made batches of dipped pretzels for a crowd as a secret mission!
Walking between house and apartment for exercise and necessity.
Shopping independently in the mall for presents and for herself.
Buying from a grocery list when I was waiting for a COVID screen result to come back, and under budget!
Cracked a pecan, almond, walnut, and hazelnut for the first time.
Dressing up for Opa’s death anniversary and going for a walk-in the park.
Writing and singing sons and choreographing dances.
Learns to swallow pills, to take iron for anemia.
Preps and participates in her first NaNoWriMo!
Made Christmas cards for classmates and teachers with animal facts and web links, encouraging them to “Stay Curious”!
Watched an online version of the nutcracker to keep the tradition that’s been going strong for watching the ballet every year for almost a decade.
Stays up to 11 pm decorating my doorway, hallway and living/dining rooms with streamers and banners (Stay in bed, I'm TPing the house!) the day before my birthday, setting the expectation of my COVID birthday as my "worst birthday ever" and then making it one the best!
Sitting in the mudroom keeping a little white abandoned kitty full of fleas company, sitting so still her leg fell asleep because Snowstorm had keeled over asleep in her lap too!
Staying up past midnight on NEW YEAR'S EVE later than both her mom and dad!
Drew/painted her self-portrait with pointillism AND surrealism styles.
Sunday, December 27, 2020
PRECIOUS GIFTS FROM PRECIOUS FRIENDS
Honestly, I have recently reflected that I seem to spend a lot of time in the kitchen for someone who doesn't cook very much anymore. I didn't realize the level of my descent until COVID cut off access to the meals that I so enjoy but don't have the skill or coordination to make. It's so often that I have to change the menu for the lack of one crucial ingredient, and then my plans for multiple items are spread out and often eaten together only a couple dishes later, or not at all.
I was totally surprised, and felt extremely grateful, therefore, to friends more organized and with better cooking skills, who dropped off these wonderful items over the last few weeks of holidays.
I am not going to lie. It was one of the worse weeks of my life, this past Christmas. It was time for my daughter to go to her dad's and all I had to look forward to was 4 days of 24 hour call and a Christmas totally alone with no distractions of dinner or drinks or walks with friends. I often cry after I drop her off, or waste the evening in a funk, but this was the first time I lay on the floor and started bawling before she left, and had to tell her that I didn't want her to leave.
So these unexpected gifts of practical love have meant more than I can ever express. Even more that they came in reusable and reused containers, reflecting the shared reality of takeout and its plastic cost, and how we are doing our best to make it useful in other ways.
So thank you to my daughter and my friends who came through when I needed it most. May there come a day that I can pay back my debt, but until that day comes I will pay it forward whenever I can.
Until then, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being a friend!
Butterscotch chocolate loaf, lentil soup, mango mousse, buns, fig pecan cranberry salad, chocolate chip cookie mix (top left clockwise to bottom left)
Zippole and Cannoli stuffed with cold whipped cream from La Tratt in Kirkland
Gado-Gado with a generous amount of peanut sauce and satay meatballs that Princess Pirate approved of as "the best" she has ever eaten!
Korean glass noodles complete with kim-chee
Dessert or breakfast tarts? Both!
Saturday, December 26, 2020
STEWART HALL FEATURES SUSANNE STRATER'S ART
This year our favourite venue (Kid's Corner at Stewart Hall) and my favourite artist (Susanne Strater) have finally come together. Although the cultural centres are closed due to Covid restrictions, there is a virtual exhibition online that I share with you to enjoy.
I am happy to finally officially be a patron of the arts, as I lent Starlight over Outrement to the collection!
Thursday, December 17, 2020
MAYA ANGELOU QUOTES
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
My mission in life. is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Nothing will work unless you do.
Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.
Tuesday, December 15, 2020
HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIES
I love watching romance movies, and if you set them at Christmas time, I find them even harder to resist. They don't have to have enormous decor and clothing budgets to bring green and red and sparkle together in a way that is irresistible! My favourite ones have a little (but not too much) magic. Like a time traveling suitor brought by a magic clock in A Timeless Christmas. Or a man name Nick and a red truck that seem to work on wishes in A Cheerful Christmas.
Sometimes, however, I am amazed at how bad the writing is, and how blatant another film can be plagerized. In other problems, why do low level employees live in mansions? Why do people always go to small town for Christmas? Conveniently leave their high paying jobs for an extended holiday, and a life change.
Today, for example, while I was frying latkes, I watched a low budget, completely ridiculous version of Love, Actually called A Christmas Exchange. It was very sweet, but there were no memorable lines and the plotlines were pretty obviously copied. How do they get away with copyright law?
If the mythology is to believed, successful lucrative careers in big cities are bad. Nearly bankrupt small town business and farming is the way to go! You don't need more than an instant to fall in love. The worst start to a movie is to be married, but you can be dating someone actively when you meet "the one". And there will be "the one". No loving the one you are with. Once lovestruck, there is no turning back.
Like my stories, librarians and writers and editors are everywhere! So are handsome men and women!
On the other hand, maybe there is still some room out there for less successful writers such as myself!
INSPIRATION FROM ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
The latest blog entry on TILT (#30) has a beautiful video with cool effects, beautiful photos, pretty music, and incredible ideas. Here are the highlights:
"It takes as much energy to wish as it does it plan."
"Nothing has ever been achieved by the person who says, 'It can't be done'."
"Do what you fell in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway."
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
"Do one thing every day that scares you."
"With the new day comes new strength."
"I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday."
"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness."
"You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude."
"Be confident, not certain."
Wednesday, December 2, 2020
Sunday, November 29, 2020
TODAY'S OBITUARY
Semi-intelligent emergency physician Fredericka Johnsdotter spent a sunny Sunday with her beloved daughter, after sleeping in, enjoying a Bailey's coffee while her daughter ate Nutella crepes, sorting laundry, and finishing a book. She enjoyed leftovers for lunch, let her Calico cat out on the back deck one last time as the snow has nearly melted in the supra-freezing temperatures of this fine fall day, went for a long walk through the nearby woods and along the river's shore, walking the path misnamed Lakeshore.
When dusk settled, she videochatted with her dearest friend, who she had not seen this year in accordance to their level of comfort with visitors outside of her bubble, and as Freddie lived in the red zone.
It was a good day in the time of Covid, filled with her daughter's singing from the basement that she had taken over as a teenager of the age 14. There was enough time together, and apart. There were happy memories and dreams of the future. There were Christmas stories and parody songs. There was no war. There was no disease. There was heat and electricity and food and water and peace and love. They were healthy, sheltered, and warm.
Sunday, November 29th was a good day to be alive.
Sunday, November 1, 2020
Thursday, October 29, 2020
POST NIGHT SOCIAL UPLIFTS
I was done for the night, and I thought I would stop by the cafeteria for a pastry for the road. They are now wrapped in plastic, and I saw a housekeeping colleague that was no longer in my department. After an inane chat, I decided on an almond croissant, which reminded me of Paris, and made me look forward to my drive home. When it came time to pay, the cashier told me that my bill was already paid! It was such a kind gesture!
On my way out I had to pick up a parking pass that allowed free COVID. I thought I was just getting a pass for the day, and that the October offer expired before my next shift, but I got a free pass without any foreseeable end!
After a short nap, I had a meeting where the default was to show no video and be muted. It was very efficient, and socially bereft.
I went outside to rake some leaves, and enjoyed the exercise. My neighbour came out asking to help. I suggested he cut back some vines that had been growing, and although he underpromised to do it tomorrow, eventually he came out and made good progress today!
My daughter's friend came over after school, and we had a nice chat before she got down to homework. Then my sunshine came home after volunteering to clean up the schoolyard, and after catching up with her friend, she told me lots of stories, and enjoyed my snack, and then bugged me by "booping" my head all the way to her dad's. It was the highlight of a very good day, if not exhausting!
I caught the brief sunset on the way home with trees still impressing with their increasing muted but beautiful colours, and many of their naked bodies calling us to look forward to the next season.
At home in a snug dark evening, I touched base with an infrequent friend and talked for over an hour and a half, filling in the gaps of each other's deficiency. She lost weight, gained control, and started running over covid. I have not! She was anxiously overplanning, and I was not. She had family and friends, but felt the isolation of being alone. I had company, even if I was annoying to her, one week out of two.
So I go to bed punch-drunk and happy, and grateful for the people in my life, even on a covid day when I go to sleep alone.
Tuesday, October 20, 2020
FORMULA OF A ROMANCE MOVIE: THE DATING LIST
Two strangers meet: a reclusive writer and an enthusiastic wannabe editor (common ground)
By accident, they exchange portfolios and have to reconnect platonically.
The protagonist has three obvious barriers to her dream job. She's doesn't, a scary potential boss that already said no, and her competition is immediately jealous of her.
Her curiosity leads her to read a manuscript that she loves. Because she's so enthusiastic, she takes the writer to a copy place, and, with this task, they hit it of.
She is by sheer preparedness offered a job when the editor's assistant elopes.
The writer's identity is the mystery, but allows the protagonist's enthusiasm for him to be clear.
She is given the Herculean task of finding her boss a dating match, and her roommate immediately finds her a system that is a solution.
Time passes in a comedic fashion with her researching a few of the potential online dates.
Meanwhile, the writer's friend has written a great book, and the writer isn't confident about his, and is two years behind schedule. They end up working together to get the book ready.
The writer gets unblocked and the wannabe editor is offered her dream job, while they edit the friend's book.
Eventually he takes her somewhere he finds special- a (fantasy) 24 hours bookstore, where she proclaims her fanship, and criticizes him without knowing who he is.
His identity becomes a barrier to their growing intimacy, but his secret identity is too important to give away yet.
When he tries to kiss her, she runs away from her feelings because she is saving him for her boss' romantic options.
In offering the writer to her boss, she spends more time with him and his friend. While her boss likes the friend, she keeps her distance in the mistaken idea that her boss likes the writer when she has fallen for the friend.
The writer asks her to read his next book in an act of trust, but he overreacts when the junior editor's jealous colleague tells him that he was part of an elaborate search for her boss' romantic interest.
Despite his rejection, she keeps his secret and loses her job over it.
She makes peace with her nemesis, who apologizes to her.
She loses her job, but is offered a better when she is offered partnership with her senior editor boss.
When they meet again, he discovers that she has kept his confidence. He apologizes, and they kiss.
Happy ending with financial security, dream career, and friendship ensue.
IN OTHER WORDS:
Setup: two strangers meet by chance in coffee shop
Inciting incident: they mix up their portfolios, and have to remeet to exchange them
Rising action: She applies for a job at a publishing company.
She looks for a dating profile for her boss
They help his friend publish a book.
He finishes a long overdue book.
They get to know each other, and take increasing leaps of faith.
She thinks her boss likes him, and tries to keep her feelings platonic for the sake of her job.
He tells her who he really is.
Climax: Risking her job, she keeps his confidence, but he rejects her when her jealous colleague tells her secret in the most unflattering light, and he overreacts
Falling action: She loses her job, gets a better one, and remains available.
He takes his book away from the original publisher, and finishes it.
Resolution: He apologizes, she accepts, and the two couples live happily and successfully ever after.
Sunday, October 18, 2020
UPSIDE DOWN INSIDE OUT WORKSHOP: CREATIVITY AS A FORCE FOR CHANGE
Today, I am up bright and early on a Sunday morning, excited by the idea of spending 3 hours focussing on creativity. This was the second workshop that I had participated in from a leading edge masters degree from Concordia in Human Systems Intervention.
This is nothing I had heard of before my friend introduced me to the first one 5 years ago called Embracing Imperfection, based on the book by Brené Brown. Last time, my friend was a co-participant and we were able to gather in groups. This time, my friend was one of the leaders, and I was so proud! The other difference, that was marked, was that we are unable to gather in person, and so participated on a zoom call.
We were taken on a trip, which was probably supposed to be exciting, but was just frustrating in context. It was meant to be experiential, and intense. I was impressed with the amount of work, and honesty that both the leaders and the participants were bringing that morning, but I just didn't feel like I was getting much out of it. I may not have been as open to the opportunity as I should have been, but what I was missing was the preparation and link to the book that I didn't have access to. Fortunately, my friend realized that having gotten my ticket though a third party, whom I didn't trust with more information than I need to register, I wasn't privy to the ideas that the group had prepared in advance.
It was not the experience I had hoped for, in some ways, it did give space to the question:
Why is creativity important to you?
Our group talked about: exploration, adaptation, problem solving, innovation, following intuition, play, possibilities, job, magic, daring to take risks, control over our own experience, and hope.
The purpose was: to courageously explore and nurture your creative confidence as a force for change.
Some questions:
Can you think of a time where you or someone you know did something "unconventionally creative"?
What feels like a leap of faith/risk?
What conditions were present?
parachute: what works
gremlins: what works against
uncharted territory (crossing the chasm): what did it look like once here
What pearl of wisdom/lesson would you take from this act of creativity?
I thought of my friend Susanne, who is conventionally creative, but, in response to the pandemic, she took to a platform she was just becoming familiar with, and spent the month of April posting a work of art a day on instagram. She didn't know the outcome or how all of it would work, but she used her artistic talents, and it was brilliant to follow such beauty that inspired in a dark, anxious and isolating month. It made be want to start something without knowing the end result, which is every creative process, isn't it?
We had a group project using an interactive program that made a communal art piece. I learnt that there were a lot of people that did not see themselves as creative, even though everyone of them had things they clearly (to me at least) created. I learned that I wasn't seeking confidence in creativity, and that I had to manage a lot of transference and sarcasm, which the others didn't seem to suffer from.
At the end of the morning, the take home points were:
1. Make a commitment
2. Find an audience
3. Make it real
The reflection was to ask myself, "Who am I becoming?"
The book that the day was based on was called: Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All by Tom and David Kelley (brothers and founders of IDEO).
Homework that I did after the workshop that has started putting it all together for me.
Youtube videos that I had missed:
Upside Down, Inside Out Workshop
What if you have what it take?
TED Talk David Kelley How to Build Your Creative Confidence
TED Talk Tim Brown Serious Tales of Creativity and Play
Friday, October 16, 2020
FRIENDSHIP AND SHARK ATTACKS
When I was growing up, we sang a song about friendship called, "Silver and Gold". The lyrics go like this:
"Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."
I have been fortunate to have kept many old friends, and they are truly as valuable as gold. It is a shame that so many of them live far away, however.
Today I was talking to one of them, and it was really a challenge to have a conversation on the phone, so I find myself tonight writing this entry to try and express myself. It's something she's not comfortable to talk about in person she told me today, but she recently posted a blog post that made it impossible for me not to try to reach out, and she asked that I write rather than talk on the phone.
She worked with my ex-husband, and she and her husband were friends with us, because of him, not me. Our friendship really only began when I heard about her symptoms that added up to bad news, and I took her to the emergency room to be diagnosed. Just as I can't see her without my ex-husband's burden, I don't think she can see me without having her shark attacks reflecting back from my face. But this is part of the trouble.
I think I am the only one who have seen so many shark attacks without being afraid of sharks, as most people are, but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find a way to make this strength of mine translate into something positive in our relationship. I don't make her laugh like she did with my ex. Now that she has withdrawn so far away, I don't have connection to her husband or kids unless she feels brave enough or strong enough. I always feel at her beck and call, and my offers have mostly been rebuffed, but when her invitations come, I have always made it a priority to say yes, until they only came with travel plans.
Strangely, it was only my willingness to travel 10 hours away, and drive in a foreign country, and have enough liquidity to share accommodations that has kept us getting to know. I love the people she surrounds herself with, but when she started to feel overwhelmed with the idea of hosting, I gave up another group of locals, and thought we were done. I had hoped there would be an opportunity to transition when we decided to meet for supper one year a couple of years back, but what has happened is that I have just lost touch with her friends.
In my imagination, I had hoped we could increasingly make a network around their family, as I know that they will increasingly need help. But if there is a need, I don't feel needed, or helpful. I hope others are doing the things I can't. I find myself like a tragic prophet, always knowing where the shark attacks will take her, but helpless to use the knowledge to do anything about it.
I am not gifted in making jokes, or playing video games. I am passionate about art, and food, and travel, and have a car, a disposable income, and four able limbs for the moment. I do not take these for granted, but I cannot seem to convince my friend of the urgency I have felt since that day in the hospital on Mount Royal to use these things to enable her to keep doing some of the things she loves too, and validate the guilt I feel for feeling well and being healthy, and the deep need to help.
I don't know how to express that I need this as much as I offer it. I fear it comes across as charity, as it may be from someone else, but I have suffered so much loss in my professional career, that it is truly a relief if I could use the terrible knowledge I have gained for something other than grief. I know she is terrified of the current and future shark attacks, but I am not. I am only afraid that she bears them alone, when I am immune, and am not afraid.
When I was at my lowest, away from my kid, and after losing so many friends following the breakdown of my marriage, she gave me reason to laugh, and gave me strength and friendship through email, and some precious invitations. Sometimes it still feels like I lost her and her husband too, even when they chose me, because it is so hard to get together. I realize that her introversion, and my general off-putting nature may be too much for either of us to overcome as she gives up many roles, and it might be necessary for her to give up her role as friend to me. How can I ask for what I need, when she feels helpless to take care of her own needs? And yet I have seen so many ways that it can work. I don't know if she has seen this before, but I want her to know that doesn't have to have all the strength herself.
I hope that she can one day let me play the role of friend to her. I am shy and blunt and way less funny, but it would seem such a waste that our friendship couldn't evolve. I just hope she can let me in a little. I need a little more gold in my life. And I want to believe that my friendship has value too.
Sunday, October 11, 2020
GRAD GIFT EXTRAORDINAIRE
From the private collection of the latest MMFA exhibition
The magnificent Chagall was a present on passing his undergraduate degree!
SAINT GEORGE'S AND THE DRAGON
I found this beautiful motif on a pedestrian commute recently, and my evangelical, non-iconic spirit was amused by the dragon on this Anglican church with St. George's namesake.
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