Seventeen years ago I ran the longest distance I had ever run, and that is true even today. I was twenty-nine years old, and truly loved to run an hour at a time. I always thought I would run another marathon in my thirties, especially when I discovered that I had run the Saskatoon marathon in four hours and one minute. That time really stuck in my craw for a long time, and for a while I imagined I would run another marathon in under four hours, even if it was by one second. But my thirties went by and I really didn't run. I didn't run for a long time after the marathon. I married a guy who couldn't run a block without stoppping because he was too itchy. I got lazy. I had a torn meniscus. I lost my identity as a runner, but I never really felt good about it.
So a few years ago, I started running again. I learned to run in all weather and for the first time over the winter. I broke my toe and suffered from plantar fasciitis, but I kept running. I had to run smarter, with cushioned shoes, on trails, not pavement, I learned to shorten my stride and run more upright to lessen the impact on my joints. I was running in forests and down to the waterfront. I ran with my daughter and with a friend, but mostly alone, when I could find time. Like swimming, my daughter encouraged me to suit up and ran when she had french tutoring over the summer. She was proud of me, and held me accountable. Much like signing up for the triathlon, I was lulled into the belief that I could run a half marathon early in the spring, and the price was attractive, so I registered. As the summer progressed, and was the hottest summer of memory, with five months of hot weather, training was a real challenge. But just like anything, you can acclimatize with practice, and although runs were shorter than planned, I was able to run throughout, and even learned to run without much water.
Then the triathlon came, and the running portion was the least pleasant run I remember ever completing. I didn't know how much rest to take, but it was only two weekends to the marathon and I still had not run more than 10 km. So whether my body needed it or not, my confidence needed to prove that I could run at least a little more. So 3 days later, I went for a fatiguing 11 km run with a friend who was decidedly more peppy, and then a week ago, I managed to run a solid 14 km and felt like my old self.
Just like recovery post, there is an idea not to overdue it before. Unfortunately I was PMSing also, so I was not running and I was eating too much as my only activities this week until today. So I was a little nervous, and woke up in nightmares at 4 am today, and tried to sleep until 5:30 when my alarm went off. For the first run in almost half a year, I was faced with a choice of clothing that was going to be wrong for some part of the day. I chose to only wear shorts and t-shirt with 9 degree weather, and it was perfect for the run, but I had gloves to wear before and after, and was only borderline comfortable. 7:30 am, and the races started. I was in the 9th wave and we both burst into grins as we crossed the start line. Two kilometres in, the gloves came off and I was a comfortable temperature until after we finished.
I am proud to say that I never stopped running. I ran 14 km with my friend and we kept the pace to the end. I finally found an opportunity to use an empty portapotty around 16 km and regretted not going early. I reached 17 km easily, and then it was all down hill from there (figuratively, not literally!). The last 4.1 km were the hardest, but none were as bad as the five at the last leg of the triathlon. The crowds were encouraging and I found my friend quickly after.
So this morning I ran for 2 hours and 21 minutes and 11 seconds, and I am proud of that! I feel like I might have put this milestone behind me. Nursing an sore ankle, I have discovered that 10 km keeps a lot of pain away, but more than that can make subtle gait asymmetries exaggerate. I also proved that I am not interested, and maybe don't even find it possible to run a faster marathon at this point.
For today, though, I proved I can run longer than I was certain I could, faster than I thought. It is good to prove things to yourself, especially if you are not sure you can do them. It's good to try things that you are likely to be bad at, especially if you try them with faster and younger and fitter people. It's a good mix of pride and humility you need to balance in these activities, that really is a mindset fitting for general life.
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