FORTY-NINE BIS AND BETTY WHITE AT NINETY-NINE

It was going to be a tough Covid party to hold, so I when I cancelled my party, in the midst of my friend's Christmas dinner plans and vacations, I was feeling alone in my strictness, and a little unsure that this was the only way. It was the best way, but it felt like it cost me the most. I was at peace with the decision, but not happy about it. Six months earlier, I had given up the dream of Christmas in London and New Year's in Paris for this milestone year, in the midst of Covid, but I really had hoped to keep the tradition alive of my Megapalooza party with the wonderful women in my life. As the 5th wave broke and my peers were not protecting their shifts or me, I settled on a compromise that made me happy. A group of six who were all vaccinated, respectful people, whose lives intertwined at the best of times, plus my daughter and me. It would be sedate, but a celebration nonetheless, and an opportunity to hand down the "old lady" stick that had made its rounds down to me, the youngest of the crew.

Alas, the Christmas plans that people were making were too risky for me to have them over on the sixth day of Christmas, and I couldn't expect them to self isolate (I have a small life, but they do not) for my party in lieu of their get-togethers, that would inevitably involve eating. I wanted eating too, or it wasn't much of a party. Wearing masks, 2 m apart, no food or drink. I cancelled, and resolved that I would not turn another year older until I could get together with friends. That was my intention, until I woke up that morning. My declaration had done nothing. I was 50 and there was no way around it. 

I had stayed up late the night before, cleaning the kitchen and making crepes so that my daughter would have a treat. As the only child of a part-time single mom at home, I didn't want her to make up the lack of other people in my life, but I was hoping to inspire her to at least make a nutella banana wrap for us. Sure enough, she brought us breakfast in bed, and we ate together then read together until the doorbell rang. From that moment on, it was hectic! I have had calmer days on call, with calls coming in 2 and 3 at a time. I would hold out my phone for her to answer my cell because I was on the housephone, and I was answering the door with a phone pinched between my ear and shoulder to reach out for the package or flowers or cake! 

I had two things to do, and I only got one done, because my unplanned day was too busy! 

I went for a walk with two of my friends. We went around for longer than expected, and I was cold and ready to get back when they surprised me with a tailgate party of hot chocolate, and a box filled with gourmet goodies that only these talented ladies could do! Homemade lemoncello cake, pesto, lentil soup, fried rice, cheese and grape starter, bubbly, vichyoise, falafel mix, muffins and more! It was a box packed with love, and wrapped with reused recycling. It was kindness and love in edible form, and it was just what I would have wanted, and I didn't even think to ask for. Four of the "chicks" had gotten together, but the organization went further than that. Another neighbour came by with a tin of cookies, and the party planning friend that had insisted I do something special for the day, and I felt terrible to cancel on her, had brought her own version of a tailgate party, with a bouquet of vegetables and a tray of snacks that travelled around the world - spanish olives, french brie with crust, skewers of insalata caprese and roses of smoked salmon (her favourite protein). With real champagne (hard to find with the run on SAQ items from the warehouse strike), and balloons, added to an enourmous bouquet of flowers my parents sen, I was missing nothing but the company. ( I would have given it all up for the company in a heartbeat). 

My daughter and I ate with a new Disney movie to watch. I opened a nice bottle of Cab Sauv and we watched the show uninterrupted, only because I turned off the ringer  early on when I saw we would never make it through otherwise. The house was a mess, and my daughter was off to bed early (getting ready for the marathon of staying up past midnight tonight), so she sternly told me to leave it, and I went to bed with three books, reading until the day ended. 

So much for 49 bis, and so soon the next decades will come. 

Betty White died at 99 today, and I am inspired to have half her spririt at the end. How much she must have had at this age to be there, taking jokes and making them, as quick as ever, with a slowing of her body, but never her mind.

I have talked to people across the country over the last 24 hours, and these things stand out the most:

I don't see what others see, but what I have (at least far away and in small doses) is valuable.

I have a lot yet to do, and a lot to say, and I had better, as my Grandma would say "get cracking"!

I need to transition, and soon, to doing something that I love, for work.

I need to get my house in order, for my sake, my daughter's sake, and for the sake of the limited time I have to do many things not yet done.

I need to find a way to bounce back from a work day with a bad sleep schedule to a healthy day and good sleep. 

I need to write, and create, and record, and remind others more of how special they are.

I need to take the time alone as precious and use it for progress in solitary pursuits. I need time alone, and yet mourn when I get it and don't use it well.

I need to stop waiting for Princess Pirate to learn these things from me. I need to build the curriculum and the house systems without her. I have to stop being afraid of the loss of opportunities that she chooses not to take, and have faith that it will come to her when she is ready. 

I need to guard my introverted strengths voraciously, and be my own thinktank. If I am frustrated, I need to write about until I come up with solutions. 

I need to be alone a little longer until I cherish being alone. Until I can say no to an invitation. Until I lose my fear of missing out (FOMO).

HOW NOT TO DIE (OR DIET)

I found a colleague from med school and residency on facebook, and he posted a lot about a healthy lifestyle that he was clearly living. He had posted a video by Dr. Michael Greger, and I watched it. This was the video of his Daily Dozen Checklist.  I was impressed by the story of his grandma, as well as the careful explanations of science based food science.

 I saw a list of his (whole food plant based) Daily Dozen recently, and was pleased to find that he had an app developed to help track his recommendations.

Here is the list, as I noted, of a the daily dozen:

1. Cruciferous veggies - contain suphoraphane- broccoli, cauliflower, kale, bok choy, cabbage, kohlrabi, radishes

                                     -  one serving=1/2 cup chopped raw, 1/4 cooked

2. Flax seed - contains lignans

                    -1 tablespoon ground

 

3. Beans - lentils, chick peas, edamame, miso, tempeh, tofu, kidney beans, green peas

               -1/4 c hummus or bean dip, 1/2 c cooked, 1 c fresh peas

4. Berries - strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, cherries, raisins, grapes, kumquat, cranberries

                - one serving 1/2 cup raw, 1/4 dried

5. Other fruit - apple, watermelon, 

                      - three servings of 1 medium, 1 cup raw, 1/4 cup dried

6. Greens - spinach, mesclun

                - three servings of 1 cup leafy 

7. Other veggies - tomatoes, artichokes, asparagus, beets, peppers, carrots, corn, squash, sweet potatoes, zucchini

                           - two servings of 1 cup raw leafy, 1/2 cup juice, 1/2 cup raw nonleafy vegetables, 1/4 cup dried mushrooms

8. Nuts and seeds - one serving 1/4 cup, 2 T nutbutter, 1

9. Herbs and spices - one serving=1/4 tsp tumeric

10. Whole grains -three servings=1/2 cup cooked, 1/2 bagel, 1 slice bread, 1 tortilla

11. Beverages - five servings=1 cup H2O, tea, coffee

12. Exercise - 40 minutes intense, 90 minutes moderate

When I went to the library, I was confused to find two almost identical cookbooks, with only one author name different, and a difference of publishing year of 3. Then I saw it: How Not To Die, and How Not to Diet! He had written two very similar books, and the one about weight loss predated the one about mortality. 

I like that it's open sourced, up to date, and motivating for everyone.

The checklist for How Not To Diet includes:

21 Tweaks:

(For 12 weeks?)

1. Weigh twice a day x2 (on waking and before bed)

2. Optimize Exercise timing x1 (at least six hours after your last meal, so before breakfast, or midday before late lunch) For diabetics, start exercising 30 minutes after the start of a meal and continue for 60 minutes.

3. Front-load calories x1 (make breakfast or lunch largest meal of the day - king/prince/pauper)

4. Preload water x3 (before each meal, 2 cups of cool water)

5. Preload with negative calorie food x3 (first course fruit, salad, or soup less than 100 calories)

6. Incorporate vinegar x3 (2 tsp, dressing or flavor)

7. Enjoy undistracted meals x3 (no phone, tv)

8. 20 minute rule x 3 (eat slower, chew better)

9.  Black cumin x1 (1/4 tsp)

10. Garlic powder x1 (1/4 tsp)

11. Ginger x1 (1 tsp) or cayenne pepper (1/2 tsp)

12. Nutritional yeast x1 (2 tsp)

13. Cumin x2 (1/2 tsp lunch and dinner)

14. Drink green tea x3 ( 1 cup 1 hour after each meal to avoid interfering with iron absorption)

15. Stay hydrated x1 (if your urine is never darker than pale yellow)

16. Deflour diet x1

17. Time-restricted diet x1 (under 12 hours, 7 days a week)

18. Fast after 19:00 x1

19. Sufficient sleep x1 (7 hours sleep, at regular bedtime)

20. Trendelenburg x1 (not for me with heart burn, foot of bed elevated by 8-9 inches)

21. Complete intentions  x3 (every 2 months write three new implementation intentions - if x, then y plans, then check them off when you complete them everyday)

FUN WORDS I SHOULD USE MORE

 "cuss" words (Dwayne Johnson)

"staffdom" (Jacob Sawa) the fantasy land that residents create in their head when they dream of soon being in control

"toxic capitalism" (someone interviewed on Planet Money)

"gerrymandering" (Hilary Clinton in What Happened) Okay, admittedly, she has more reasons to say it than me, who never talks politics, more out of ignorance than interest!

"knavery" like, "Such knavery!" while shaking my head and tsking (tutting if I was British!)

BOOK REVIEW: THE ALCHEMIST

 Paul Coehlo’s fable is philosophy’s version of The Wealthy Barber. Basic but cute. Feel excluded as a female. The shepherd creates his own personal legend, but his wife doesn’t get her own. 

Best quote: An opportunity avoided can become a curse.

Cultural reference: The (Hebrew) Urim and Thummim

SCIENCE JOKE/TRUTH

You know that phrase, "Everything happens for a reason"?

That reason is usually physics!

I AM WRIMO WINNER, TOO!

 I have joined the illustrious gang of "winners" who have completed a gruelling month of writing 50,000 words for a novel. 

I reread some of it already, and it was good and bad!😄

Now, to put it all together. I am overdue in actually finishing a novel, a goal a little more recognisable in the general public than being a NaNoWriMo winner!

I would show you my certificate, but my google blog and my pdf refuse to cooperate today! You will have to take my word for it!

WRITING QUOTES FROM ESPRESSO BOT

"Whatever you choose to call it, staring into the abyss in search of an idea can be terrifying. " 
Colin Nissan (Don't Be That Guy)

"Novels do take charge of the writer, and the writer is basically a kind of sheepdog just trying to keep things on track."
John Gregory Dunne (Nothing Lost)

"The real hero is always a hero by mistake, he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else."
Umberto Eco

"Not a wasted word. This has been a main point to my literary thinking all my life."
Hunter S. Thompson

"If I stop working and just try to enjoy myself, I get very neurotic and guilt-ridden. Orwell was the same." 
Arthur Koestler (The Sleepwalkers, The Act of Creation)

"I write slowly because I write badly. I have to rewrite everything many, many times just to achieve mediocrity."
William Gass (The Tunnel)

"People underestimate the power of writing in terms of why certain arguments stick and why they don't...My objective as a writer is not merely to write in such a way that people read it and say, 'Yeah, I think that's correct. It's to write in such a way that people are haunted. That they go to bed thinking about it, that they wake up thinking about, that they tell their spouses about it, that they tell their children and their friends about it. That they grab them by the arm and say, 'You got to read this.'"
Ta-Nehisi Coates (The Water Dancer)

"Increase your word power. Words are the raw material of our craft. The greater your vocabulary the more effective your writing."
P.D. James

"Language fits over experience like a straight-jacket."
William Golding

"Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them."
Harlan Ellison

"Most of us find our own voices only after we've sounded like a lot of other people."
Neil Gaiman

"Writers have a rare power not given to anyone else: we can bore people long after we are dead."
Sinclair Lewis

"Tell the whole truth. Don't be lazy, don't be afraid. Close the critic out when you are drafting something new."
Jane Kenyon (Let evening come)

"I want to be read. I want to be valued. That is perhaps the only shot at immortality a human being can have. "
Anne Rice

"It had better be quirky or perverse or thoughtful enough so that you hit some chord in them."
Nora Ephron

"Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun."
Christina Rossetti (19th century poet)

"I'm not too keen on characters taking over, they do as they are damn well told."
Iain Banks (The Wasp Factory)

"Trust your reader. Not everything needs to be explained. If you really know something, and breath life into it, they'll know it too."
Esther Freud (Doctor Who:Attack of the Cyberman)

"I approach the work as though, in truth, I'm nothing and the words are everything."
Louise Erdrich

"You know what about writing? It doesn't have any walls."
Lidia Yuknavitch (The Night Watchman)

"Along the way accidents happen, detours get taken - the accidents turn out to be some of the best things."
John Irving

"Write toward vulnerability"
Anne Lamott (Bird By Bird)

"Write about the emotions you fear the most."
Laurie Halse Anderson (Speak, Shout)

"Writing is thinking, and if you don't think clearly about what you want to say, what story you want to tell, you will never write clearly about it."
Kevin Coyne (musician)

"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive."
James Baldwin (I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings)

“You can write any time people will leave you alone and not interrupt you. Or rather you can if you will be ruthless enough about it.”

Ernest Hemingway

“If you want to work on your art, work on your life.” 

Anton Chekhov

“If the stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed.”

Barry Lopez 

“No object is mysterious. The mystery is your eye.” 

Elizabeth Bowen

“Avoid your weaknesses. But do this without telling yourself that the things you can’t do aren’t worth doing.”

Zadie Smith

“Here's how to write a mystery novel: at the beginning you tell a lie, and by the end you tell the truth.” Gregory McDonald

“There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all.” Rebecca West

“Above all things—read. Read the great stylists who cannot be copied rather than the successful writers who must not be copied.” 

Ngaio Marsh

“Have more than one idea on the go at any one time.” 

Geoff Dyer

“It ain’t whatcha write, it’s the way atcha write it.” 

Jack Kerouac

“The story I am writing exists, written in absolutely perfect fashion…in the air. All I must do is find it, and copy it.” 

Jules Renard

“Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.”

 Bernard Malamud

“A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage.” 

Sydney Smith

“The most critical thing that a story must do—the tippity-top of the narrative mountain!—is make the audience feel something.” 

Chuck Wendig

“I write a story as if it were a letter to someone and essentially, that’s what you do.” 

Theodore Sturgeon

ONLY A DAY AWAY!

I feel like every graph tells a story. These are the graphs of my third NaNoWriMo. It is a story of persistence, mediocrity, chaos, neglect, and discipline. 

The first graph proves that I am not an overachiever. The second proves that I am inconsistent. Together they prove that when I want something, I can get the job done! Also, I am very motivated by deadlines!

During this month, I have worked my full compliment of shifts (can you tell which were my two work weekends :)?), vacuumed my house, kept up on laundry, changed my car's winter tires, gone out to dinner with good friends, signed a contract for a bathroom reno, visited Ottawa for an overnight getaway, participated in a book club, visited two art gallery exhibits, fed my kid three times a day, had a friend over for a late Thanksgiving dinner, hiked, shovelled, watched a few Christmas movies and shows, and caught up with friends and family.  

I am proud of what I have accomplished, but my life will be a lot simpler on December 1st without the singular focus necessary for this event!

THE ORIGIN STORY

My friend asked me last night what has inspired my love of the Chateau Laurier. I would have thought that I was born with an innate love of Fairmont hotels, but I would have been mistaken.

My earliest memory of a Canadian Pacific (CP: now the modern Fairmont) castle-like hotel was a trip that my family took to Banff. It is a memory stitched together with just a few images. Some of my memories may not have been the same year or even in the right place, but there are two things I remember strongly: waking up at least one day in the campground and doubting my dad’s proclamation that we were in the mountains, until the fog finally lifted to reveal the rock face that had been completely obscured in the dark right beside our tent, and the outrageous and hilarious freedom of wearing garbage bags with our arms poked through because of rain, feeling none of the usual embarrassment in knowing that everyone we met was a stranger anyways. 

I have a vague memory of stopping for a hot chocolate in the lobby of the Banff Springs Hotel, but maybe it was just a look in the lobby. I have a picture of the hotel that must have been taken from some height, and looking down into the valley, the hotel was the scale of Neuschwannstein, and resembled the castles that I later knew were as an adult in Europe, with the ruins of Heidelberg found in the fog being a strong memory with no photo. When I moved to Montreal, I am not sure I understood the breadth of the CP hotels that spanned the country. I think that Quebec city’s Chateau Frontenac (CF) may have been my only knowledge of a hotel with the turrets and dramatic rooftops outside of the Rockie Mountains, but I am even unsure of that timeline, and that I would have connected the two spanning such a distance as where I grew up to where I ended up. 

What I do know was that I started a file folder with the bills and room cards for all my Fairmont Hotel stays over the years, and this is the timeline that I am more certain of, although given memory’s unreliability, there is still some artistic license likely to be present.

From my records;

My first Fairmont booking was for a conference in Toronto called the North York Emergency Medicine. It was 2007, and I did not go alone, leaving my then husband and my one year old daughter to their own devices while I spent long days learning. I remember that we took pictures in our bathrobes, and that my daughter was just starting to walk with confidence, using a toddler sized rolling walker and enjoying the enormous carpeted floors of  the lobbies and hallways. The hotel was the Royal York, and I can’t remember if it was this visit, or another in 2009, but we took the train that actually brought us to the train station that still serves the hotel. 

The following year, 2008, we booked a room at the Hotel Frontenac in the summer, and now we full blown chased after the little tyke who ran away if she could! No walker needed!

In 2009, I indulged in a night to celebrate my birthday, staying at the Queen Elizabeth Hotel in hometown Montreal, with a view down on my favourite reminder of Rome (Vatican City, actually) that is Mary Queen of the World cathedral, and the incredible Sun Life Building that sits kitty-corner to it. 

The Chateau Laurier was next, during a year that I was developing the intention of becoming a  premier member.  That year was 2011, and there was a midwinter promotion in concert with the Holtz Spa in the nearby Byward market. I went with two friends that I knew from a group of long time friends. At the time I don’t think we had spent any time together by ourselves, but that trip changed things. Both of these women have become very important to me, likely beginning with that stay.  This also is likely to be the start of the idea for the book I am on day three writing. Certainly, CL is the closest Fairmont hotel to me unless I stay in Montreal, so has been the easiest to visit. It has never had the heart stopping increases in price that CF has had, and it is now officially the CP hotel that I have visited the most, thanks to my recent visit there with one of the two women that accompanied me there ten years ago. 

The three characters may have developed on a different timeline, but it is interesting to see the parallel of three women from that visit. I know that two of my original characters were based on others, and not on my travel companions, but even down to the room we had with 3 separate beds and a view to Parliament Hill feels primordial to where my story has evolved from. I also wonder if all my reading of Nancy Drew (ND) and her two best friends could have played a part. I think I may have even added a boyfriend, like Ned, to balance out the estrogen. The Mystery at Chateau Laurier was the original title, which sounds like a ND mystery, and the name stuck until my first NaNoWriMo in 2019, when I started to fill in the characters, but the mystery plot never developed, or was very awkward. 

I started going to the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP) conferences beginning in 2011, and travelled to quite a few cities this way. I found the cost of the exchange rate, and the demand in the US cities almost unaffordable, so was not able to consistently stay at a Fairmont. I did enjoy my stay so much in Boston at the Copley Plaza that I returned with my family, this time with a time booked to walk their lobby dog named Caty (pronounced Katey). I remember a little room in San Francisco that was the peak of what I was willing to pay for a night, especially for a room that I was literally only using to sleep in. It was steep in price, but also in real estate, and I when the sting of the cost wore off, I was glad to have stayed truly in the heart of San Fran, even if it was just for a short time. 

I started this blog in 2012 on a spinoff trip as a Rick Steves superfan with an incredible stay at the Fairmont Seattle. Eating alone turned out to heighten each meal that I ate, and certain foods still come up as fond memories. Spanish fig loaf found in a brick at the international section at the grocery store, and several failed attempts to make the breaded cheese croutons that topped a vegetable bisque soup come immediately to mind. The food was accompanied by the luxurious surroundings and a pianist! I can also recommend that fall is a great time for eating out!  

Today I was reminded why I had the idea of a treasure hunt, when I found an envelope from October 26th, 2013 addressed to Princess Pirate, Room 373, and was dotted with pastel coloured and sparkly stickers in the shape of hearts and with happy horse faces . I don’t remember the ruse, but I wrote at the top, I believe addressed to the front desk staff:

BONJOUR. LAISSEZ MOI Á LA RÉCEPTION

The first clue must have been hidden in plain sight in the room, left to be found.

It read:

Good morning, Rebecca! 

Today I have a treasure hunt for you! 

The first clue is waiting for you at the lobby’s front desk, where I checked in. Just ask for a message for room 373. 

Good luck,

Love, 

Mom (smiley face emoji)

The second clue read:

Ask your daddy to help you find Albert Einstein’s photograph. 

Below it is a desk. 

Check the right drawer for your next clue.

P.S. This poodle is for decorating our shoelaces.

The third clue read:

Good job!

You found the next clue! 

(Editor’s note: I am hearing Blue’s Clues in my head now. I think that might have been my inspiration. Unfortunately it may have also been my aspiration. This was not great work, which is why I have had so much trouble making it into an adventure worthy of a novel!)

This place I found when I visited the castle last winter.

I loved it and am so happy to use it’s hiding place today!

Don’t leave the room, but look for a lamp with a stack of books. 

Don’t be afraid to be a detective. 

Be curious - I promise it won’t break!

The fourth clue was the last clue, and it read:

Wow, that was the toughest spot to find. 

Hope you are having fun!

Now it is time to return to your room.

Find the “safest” place and press the numbers of your birthday - month. 

Don’t forget to put 0 (zero) in the tens spot + day. 

(Editor’s note: I think this is confusing, and I don’t remember what the gift was!)

Hope this is a good gift for a princess!

Enjoy your castle!

I have long admired the construct of a murder mysterday, but before binge-watching was a thing, the closest thing we could come to was binging a series of books, which was hard to do given the constant wait required repetitively for the next book in the series to be released to you after putting it on hold. Even then, with authors like Agatha Christie who had long ago finished writing, it seemed like a far-fetched idea to have so many murders around one person, usually in a small space, or in a small town. These eventually transitioned to murder mystery shows, and the sequence of so many victims quickly became too terrible for me to bear. So I have still never read all of Agatha Christie’s books, and I don’t binge watch crime shows for fear of becoming so despondant as to be suicidal. I like the “twist” though, and when I started writing this book in 2019, I thought that I would take inspiration from the idea of a letter, but it turned out not to be a very interesting device for a plot twist. 

I took inspiration at least for the protagonist Stephanie from a Tissot painting that I have loved for a long time that hangs in the National Gallery of Canada called The Letter. It is a medium sized painting set in a beautiful garden. A woman with an elegant black gown and hat from the late 19th century holds a letter in her gloved hands that she is actively shredding. The multiple pieces hang impossibly in the air behind her, as if caught by an updraft. She is surrounded by fallen horsetail chestnuts, so I always imagined the park to be in Paris. She stands on the grass, which is a big no-no in a park in France, and there is only one table behind, so although I had imagined that she was in a public place, maybe she is at her own private residence and the man behind is not a waiter but a footman maybe. I don’t know what is happening, but her face seems confident, making the expression closest to disgust. Maybe she has  been stood up with a letter carrying the excuse? Whatever is happening, she is not devastated, but this is just the beginning of a story in my mind. She is my first truly original character. She is not based on anyone I know. She is her own persona, although I have to admit, she is also the character most like myself!

So there you have it. A story written over two Novembers, from 2019-2021, started a long time ago. The three women characters have been developing on paper and in my mind for along time, and they probably met the Chateau Laurier during a cold a grey fall in 2011. It was not a trip very far away, but that weekend changed my life. It brought me to dear friendship with two extraordinary women, had me fall in love with the architecture and history of the hotel, and started my writing inspiration for the story that continues to challenge me today!

COMING UP FROM BEHIND

I am barely keeping my eyes open, but I have passed the 40,000 word mark this morning, and am able to finally go to bed at 23:55 because I have passed the 42, 500 work count today. It was a big one, and it's going to be no small feat to write 2500 words a day for 3 more days, but I am back on track, and looking towards the finish line. 

Good night wrimos!

Good night moon!

FIRST REAL SNOW YESTERDAY

Moving the penguins to the North Pole. Without snow, we couldn't do it until today!

CHRISTMAS MOVIE SEASON BEGINS

I am about to watch too much tv. CTV has added Christmas movies and CITYTV is making them available three at a time, and I am going to make a concerted effort to make my way through as many as I can!

SCALE: 

Less than 3 Don't bother

3 Watchable

3.5 Has some merits

4 A nice watch

4.5 Great movie

5 Competes with Hollywood

November 22nd
Christmas Lovers Anonymous (3.5/5 stars) 

CTV

Good decorations and costumes, good chemistry, no diversity
- rip off of You've Got Mail, reporter chasing a scandal about the book author and book author caught in a lie fall in love in online first, guy stands up girl when he realizes, girl forgives guy when she realizes, happy ending! 

November 24th 
Christmas Time is Here (3/5 stars) 

CTV

Great decorations and costume, music, Christmas magic, some diversity
Vancouver
- familiar props: small town, family run inn, big bad developer want to buy and expand, heritage property document found last minute (dead mom leave letter in picture frame) saves the day, Christmas magic starts an heirloom watch, negative first impressions turn to romance, rich long time friend invests, the couple end up being able to save the day
- premise that Dad shouldn't sell the Inn to keep retirement income as a bad idea, rich best friend badly cast, awkward chemistry, mixes business with romance 

November 26th
Window Wonderland (4/5 stars) 

CTV

Set in NYC, finds someone who believes in her and slowly warms up to him, as he fits right in!
- good chemistry, good acting, people are not what they seem until they find the courage to be authentic, competition for window dressing at Christmas, being locked in a department store for the night, and more!

Chyler Leigh (Dr. Lexie Grey)

November 28th

Cross Country Christmas 3.5/5

Citytv

A high energy problemsolver meets a high school peer while a cancelled flight leads to a cross country adventure that involves an unreliable dog grooming truck, a tractor, and more!

Rachel Leigh Cook

November 29th

Homemade Christmas 3.5/5

Citytv

A selfless cheerleader type is mistaken for the face of the company, and the store owner works together 

- great chemistry, they keep each other true to themselves and their friends, great decorations

- the conflict point is too obvious, and she is dating someone when their relationship blossoms 

Dashing Home for Christmas 2.5/5
Citytv

An inattentive consultant gets diverted with an annoying talkative optimist are a mismatched pair, until they find that they have a lot of (superficial) things in common

-awkward writing, contrived, pointless road trip, minimal decorating

Christmas in My Heart 3.5/5

CTV

Widower country singer meets single classical violinist through his daughter who hires her for lessons during the advent season

-nod to Hannukah, violin quartet, good chemistry, Christmas recital

November 30th

It's Christmas, Carol 4/5

CTV

A horrible boss meets her mentor as a ghost in a heartwarming remake of A Christmas Carol

Carrie Fisher, Carson Kressley

Guess Who's Coming For Christmas 3.5/5

CTV

If you can accept the timeline, this is a perfect Christmas romance with a musical collaboration

December 1st

Sharing Christmas 3/5

CTV

Another remake of A Shop Around the Corner, without the tension or witty writing.

December 2nd

Loving Christmas 3/5

CTV

An estranged son returns, to compete for the top job at his dad's company, who has groomed Ashley for the position for years. They take a look at everything differently, but somehow lack the chemistry of opposites attracting. The decoration was great, but I don't know why the actor for Ben always looks like he's out of character, and it bugged me. 

December 3rd 

The Picture of Christmas 3.5/5

CityTV

An increasingly unfulfilled city girl returns to the country to sell her aunt's tree farm, to rekindle her love of drawing, and find a community (and handsome caretaker with adorable daughter who live on site) that she almost loses before she realizes that this is exactly what she wants.

December 4th

Christmas Ever After 4/5

CTV

A romance novelist creates a perfect character that no longer seems real. In writers block, she returns to Antler Lodge for her traditional Christmas stay and their last holiday when she meets Matt, a single father,  who looks like the clinch cover of her books but is real. 

Protagonist and actor use a wheelchair.

December 5th 

CTV

A Perfect Christmas List 3/5

A feuding mother and daughter work together to fulfill Grandma's Christmas list when they think this is their last Christmas with her. Her good Samaritan doctor conveniently finds time to be involved.

December 6th 

CityTV

Let's Meet Again On Christmas Eve 4/5

Complete with a narrator, a Christmas wedding and some Christmas magic. A cumbersome title but a sweet movie! Lots of lights and a bad skating scene included.

December 7

Christmas is You 3.5/5 

CTV

A couple who dated in high school reunite as singer and producer to write and sing together again. There is a requisite minor betrayal of trust, and a complimentary long-distance coupling of her brother and boss, if that wasn't enough! I love a romance story with a long history!

December 8

Christmas à la carte 3/5

Citytv

The actress in this is incredibly smooth, and the premise of a passionate producer getting her shot in her hometown with a widowed and withdrawn chef trying to hide from life is a nice story, but his character is hard to be sympathetic too, and I wouldn't want them to work our, for her sake!

December 9

Saying Yes To Christmas 4/5

Citytv

A wannabe editor is cursed with an inability to no to anything Christmas, jeopardizing her chances of promotion, and leading her to an independence and passion for her future.

This actress is incredibly convincing, and this movie has everything you want in a Christmas movie. Romance, creative writing ideas, an old flame, a little magic, lots of green, red, and white, and Christmas activities you know, with some new traditions that you might not. 

December 10

Fixing up Christmas 4/5

Citytv

The son of a builder is teamed up by his dad with a detail oriented party planner, and learns how to see that every aspect of the client relationship is vital, while getting to know a great girl with many talents.

December 11

Jingle Bell Princess 3/5

CTV

A princess gets left behind by accident in a blizzard by her private jet, with a little Santa magic, so that she can find freedom and love with a greiving dad and his daughter in a small town. It would rate higher, and I cannot emphasize how hard it would be, but her accent falters and the director/editor team didn't correct it enough for me to rate it as watchable.

It's like Audrey Hepburn's Roman Holiday meets a Garrison Keillor's Christmas Blizzard!

December 12 

Hoopla

The Man Who Saved Christmas 3.5/5

The true story of toymaker A.C. Gilbert, from Erector Set fame, who struggles with priorities as he gets into business, and, then, during the difficult years of WWII.

December 13

CTV

Miracle in Motor City 4/5

A wonderful story that brought tears to my eyes, with a little Motown celebrity, with Smokey Robinson saving the day. Not sure why they choose the two other singers for their acting skills, but it was a great version for those seeking a true meaning of Christmas movie with more complexity that most.

December 14

CTV

Broadcasting Christmas 3/5

This film has all the makings of a great Christmas, with competing anchors who were previously a couple, played by stars Joan Hart and Dean Cain. The start really bugs me though. Who wakes up at 4:15 and is happy about it? Who wakes up in Connecticut at 4:15 and it’s bright, and you go into work with masses of people?! I can’t get over it!

Cringe moments: The anchor loses her job because she’s pregnant! Lesser but totally avoidable, a badly synched saxophone solo.

Royally Wrapped For Christmas 

CTV

I didn’t think I would watch another “Royal” movie, but I saw that the wonderful actress Nicola Correia-Damude (Burden of Proof) was singing a Canadian Christmas song, and was linked to the movie.

NANOWRIMO 2021

This month is going quite smoothly, but I tend to be a chronic underachiever! Although not far from the stable graph line sloping upward to 50,000 words, I have only surpassed it twice, November 4 and 5th. It would be easier to finish on time in one week if I had, and my failure daily to reach the target is sobering. On average, I am writing 1460 words a day, which is why my current word count needed is 2137. A small deficit kept from November 7th grew significantly with weekend shifts with 0 imput (losing me a 21 day in a row and every day writing. The holy grail of achieving your daily goal for 30 days isn't even on my radar!)

In addition, this year, several in the Montreal group (of which I am grateful for their motivation) are already at 50,000 words and writing beyond! It's exciting to see how some took off running and left a bunch of us the dusk, most of them with day jobs and some of them with lives! 

That being said, I finished my last (night) shift yesterday, and feel somewhat lucid today, so I have a really good chance to get this done. My only glitch is a 2 day trip to the scene of my story with a friend, in part to celebrate our current age before upcoming birthdays. I hope she knows how much time writing takes! If not, I am going to be losing sleep for the last push!

What is exciting to me this year is to see how preparation helps. In an ideal plan, your house is in order and your freezer full of food, as well as 30 plot points or scenes for a place to start every day. Still, I have 6 characters, one that is likely to end up on the cutting room floor, that I have enjoyed following around. I never got into those video games like SIM city where you create and world, but I feel like it's very similar. In my hands, my characters resemble awkward monsters like Frankenstein's, and like the early CG effects associated with creating people and putting them in situations. 

The other factor was a very frustrated creative writing teacher that initially I found very critical. With time, I saw that what he was criticizing was a group of writers that were excellent at writing what they knew (their own reflections), but the class was meant to create something new. That is not easy, and it was not easy for our teacher to get us to live out our fantasies. I am starting to get it, finally. After decades of journaling, my ability to report and reflect is not bad (not good, but not terrible!), but I have to create something new. 

The question of, "What if" is a great starting point. What if my character living an ordinary life of a daily grind has something extraordinary happen? What then? That is when the fun starts!

Next, when your characters are boring you, there are ideas like: Flashback to explain their emotions. Grab a tearjerker. Stir the pot. Forget the rules. Write the rules. Depend on insanity. Some of this I credit to Scarlet, our Montreal leader extraordinaire. Some she would credit to a packet of cards from the Writer Emergency Pack by John August, like Change every blessing into a curse, That's Not the Dragon, and Standard Procedures.

My fellow Montreal writers have also been inspiring. We have virtual sessions where we chat and inspire, and then write for 30 minutes of the hour. There is some competition in how many words we each type, but it is a friendly one. Like yoga, most of us are just competing with ourselves, and at times the days with the lowest word counts are necessary moments in creating the next new idea. There is also a group that hangs out at different times on A Writers Mess on a server called DISCORD, and the sprints are frequent and short, with lots of nice things (if you are willing to learn a little coding) and helpful people to coax you along in your journey. You can even use the BOT to do it all by yourself! I found that helpful last night at 23:43!

As an exercise in not judging what we write, this elusive goal keeps the critic on our shoulder in check. Afterwards, some serious judgement will be necessary. At one point I was so tired, and my character had had three name changes, that I couldn't remember what to call her!

I have learnt that your soundtrack cannot be too slow, and my new favourite is a 25 minute 42 second CBC recording of Alexandra Streliska "Inscape". I also recommend google docs. It has an excellent autocorrect for grammar, keeps a word count total or for a highlighted part. Plus, my daughter has more than once been my IT support to help me get out of trouble!

So today I start at 35,043 words in my count. A few are plot points and not yet stories. I am taking a risk not using these words to contribute to my word count, but I think reflection is a powerful thing and I might not have much bandwidth after this to consolidate my thoughts. Last time (and for the first time in 2019) I wrote 50,000 words, I couldn't look at it for months. It speaks to under training, and reminds me of the marathon I ran once. I was in good shape and definitely did some training, but after I finished, I didn't run for months. Not great! 

I am excited to put the two parts of the story together, and I have put out feelers to a few people willing to read at least part of it. This will not be great Canadian novel published for the world to enjoy, but it will be a stepping stone to something else. If nothing else, it is wonderful to see the process if you just keep applying the work!

Good luck to all my NaNoWriMoers out there. Whether you make your goal, or fail to achieve it but do something else instead, you are a winner! Showing up is more than most are able to do, and you did that and more! I am so proud of you!

CREATIVE WRITING WEEK FOUR

Prompts:
Bird

You too (et tu brute)

2 stepping across life

Lessons:

Fiction is a beautiful lie. 

Don't mess with a soufflé.

Artists/authors:

Linda Marics

Suzanne Belair

NANOWRIMO 2021

 WORDCOUNTER

BACKGROUND MUSIC

REWARDS: 

PERPETUAL CALENDAR

THE HERO'S JOURNAL

FANFICTION BY TABITHA GILROY

PUBLISHED NOVELIST ON ZOOM

Word sprints 658 in 30 minutes PR!

Vocabulary to incorporate (can you find the six words?)

On the island of Capri, in a hypogeum populated with boats bearing tourists, seeking its cerulific waters, an otacust in a boat wheepled in alarm when he saw a man disrespectfully avulsed a zoetic creature from the stone wall.

2 days with no words is killing me now! I must keep it up until my next shift, and then not give it up no matter how bad I feel afterwards. 1667 minimum a day to the end. Half-way I am crawling back at 21,705.

Monday morning write-in gave me 2000 words in 2 hours. My best word count! 

ASKING TOO MUCH

 I was on call on the wards for the last time change. It worked out no different for me, because although my call was one more hour, and my pay was by day, so no overtime, I didn't get called in, or even called. Others had to work overnight for one more hour, with their compensation being overtime.

When I got to work, I asked the two nurses who got an extra hour that night how it went. The first nurse had slept the extra hour, and she was very pleased. The second nurse couldn't sleep in, but enjoyed the extra hour before work. 

I had managed to sleep in, but I found myself wanting to also have a longer day. In that moment, I realized that this is why I am often frustrated with how much I want to get done in a certain amount of time. I was given an extra hour, and felt like I lost one. My expectations are impossible!

JUSTIN CASE IS JUSTIN TIME

 One of my daughter's friends name (the son of my friend whom I met through our kids) is Justin, and I first heard about a show called Justin Time. I think it was the jingle that she first told me about. 

I tied it to (in error) a series of books in the juvenile fiction category about a third grade boy, named Justin Case, by Rachel Vail, (followed by a series about his younger sister, Elizabeth).

Now, on a search for tourist activities in Ottawa, I found on the Diefenbunker website in a the Museum at Home tab that Justin Case was a Canadian mascot for the Civil Defence!

While listening to 99pi this week, I discovered a company calledInteraction Research Corporation that makes safety cards for planes that are called Just in Case. (TRIGGER warning: the producer and Roman Mars are unapologetic for interfering with the potential safety of thousands of passengers by the theft of 300 cards.)

Also, of note, was the connection with PM Mackenzie King and a man named Igor Gouzenko who defected after working as a cipher clerk and spy at the Soviet embassy. The Royal Commission created by PM King investigated espionage in Canada, and was a starting event of the Cold War.

BOOKSTORES ARE A SPECIAL PLACE

 I was at the Farmer's market today, and on the way from my parked car, I saw a used bookstore I had never seen before. Turns out it has been there for 15 years, but I usually park the other way, and never crossed its path. 

Bookstores and libraries have been special places for me for a long time. I have fond memories of a mobile library in front of my elementary school, before the local library in our new development suburb had a building. I remember the local library with endless collections of Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew and Asterix and Tintin and how to be a spy book and sign language. I remember a larger library that had rare books of plays that we tried to act out in a puppet theatre made from refrigerator box. It was the first place I read a book that I regretted that there were no ratings for books. There were movies by then, and you could be sure of what you were getting, but if there was sexual aggression in the book, there was no warning on the back cover, and once you read it, you couldn't unread it. Even the church I went to had a small library, so that  in all my growing up years, the only bookstore I remember being in was a Christian bookstore, and then the University bookstore for textbooks.

The first bookstore I remember being in was near Trinity Western University in BC. My ex-boyfriend and I found nothing more fun than browsing through the aged pages of a local bookstore in the sunshine. When I travelled to Europe, the draw for English books was so strong that people gave word of mouth instructions on how instructions on how to find the Shakespeare multi-level bookstore on Unter den Linden in Berlin. 

My favourite bookstore in the West Island of Montreal was just one major street away, and better than the bookstores that were downtown. That didn't stop me from visiting it when I went by, but it gave me such grief when it closed down that I don't think I have visited the other downtown haunts in case they too have closed.

I once knew the son of a wealthy man who inherited a bookstore as his first business venture. I don't know that it was ever sold as a business, but I know the son did other things in IT instead. It always reminded me of a church pastor that deserved to have a bookstore. He loved books more than anyone I have ever met. His house was packed with books. They were stacked up like temporary walls in the living room, around furniture. His wife was a saint in her tolerance of his habits. He was not a hoarder in other ways, but with books, he had as close to a problem as anyone. He would buy them bulk. Once it was a truckload. But he read the books he received. Underlined passages in them. Was inspired by them. Quoted them in sermons. Lent them to friends. He told a story that he would read books on open quiet highways while he drove with his knees, until the day that he hit a piece of lumber on the road, and realized his folly before worse happened. I wish I could rent out a space for this man's personal library, because I know him well enough that it would be a lending library to all.

Even my favourite movie is a romantic comedy set in a New York bookstore. It was adapted from a film set in Budapest that is called Shop Around the Corner. Although it is a Jimmy Stewart black and white film that I have a soft spot for, I prefer the movie that it inspired called You've Got Mail.

CREATIVE WRITING: WEEK THREE

Inner voice - italics

?clearer. Less censured. In some characters, more sure; in others, insecure.

It should be clearly different than outer thoughts.

Back story - research

What’s next, flow

Velocity, rhythm

HOW CAN YOU TELL WHETHER OR NOT SOMEONE WILL BE A GOOD FRIEND (5 minute, in class)

You can only tell if someone will be a good friend over time. 

It is easy to know if you like someone or not often within a few minutes of meeting them. But friendship requires more complicated decisions and character traits than the common interests or sense of humour or agreeability that makes the first encounter the start of a friendship. 

It is much harder to  have a good friend. They need to be able to respond to some of your needs. They may need to know what you need even when you can’t tell them. Some traits that make a person easy to know initially do not guarantee that they will be a good friend over time. 

Even more complicated is the fact that two people are changing over time.

Authenticity vs hook

Mina bird

*Background story

The sound of the city at night

What is the coolest thing found in nature (awe-inspiring)

I am really proud of …

The sounds of the city at night

Sometimes when I am sitting in my house in the suburbs, I am amazed at the absence of sounds. I think myself very lucky, and do not miss living in downtown.

When I go for a walk, I hear neighbours talking and laughing in their yards. The leaves  in the trees rustle in the wind in the summer. They swish around the street when it is fall. Sometimes there is the sound of rain falling and striking objects as it lands. Other times, the wind swirls around in gusts, and seems to come alive as its own entity.

With the windows open in the summer, the occasional car sound passes by. For a wonderful year, there was not even a plane that could be overhead. But now, the planes seem to fly low and frequently just as the sun sets, putting my teeth on edge. I hardly notice the crickets looking for love, or the shuffling of a skunk or raccoon through the yard until it passes. Then the tranquility returns, and the symphony returns to my ears, restoring my calm. The fall usually brings the sounds of geese leaving for the south, travelling under the safety of the night sky, and honking their good-byes.

Each morning, the newspaper delivery car drives by at 5:30 with a defective muffler, and wakes me up with the violent shaking of my windows. If I am lucky, the birds chirp me back to sleep until my alarm goes off later. 

Last year, when they dug up my street to place drains and rebuild the roads,  I actually learned to fall back asleep to the sounds of heavy machinery instead!

Recently, I went to downtown for supper, and I was surprised at how calm the sounds were after dark. I usually visit the city during the day, when it is jarringly loud at times. I think of my streets as quiet in comparison. But in the right streets, downtown has a quietness too. Less animal noises, but the hum of a quiet version of itself.

I hear a low grumbling, and I sleepily recognize that the night is coming to an end. I am instantly awake, as I race to the door. It’s garbage day, and I have to get the garbage to the street before the truck arrives at my house!

FEEDBACK:

Recognized as a compare and contrast essay

Less seems - directly is

Sometimes is weak - rarely, from time to time

Silence to noise

Take out downtown

Move through the night temporally - natural order of time

CREATIVE WRITING: WEEK TWO

Q: What happens next? Emotion. Motivation. Don't describe. It's like a performance. Be a storyteller.

Is your story moving along? Do I care about what I wrote?

Drama is often negative. Conflict doesn't have to be unhappy though. Think of the truth in comedy. 

Think of Dave in Vinyl Cafe. Find a personality with problems, and they can become your conflict that moves the plot forward. Create a character we care about. 

Make discoveries. Follow the action. Make a treasure hunt, and keep leaving clues. Find a cue. Create a safe place, and then change a variable. 

Editing is like playing a Jenga game. How much can I take out and it still keep its integrity.

In 8 weeks, am I a better writer?

Reminiscences

Pay attention to the point of view, and don't change it unless you make another chapter.

Layer the interaction

PROMPT (last week I missed):

Wool

By the ocean

Accident

300 words

a couple of characters

----

for next week:

an unexpected phone call

holding hands

jump

THE ACADIA: 1227 SHERBROOKE STREET WEST

 

Across the street from the Ritz Carlton lays a building of incredible craftsmanship. It is not a building I have noticed before, lacking the larger more intricate marquis that usually commands all my attention when I walk by, nor the menu nor photos of specialty food at heartstopping prices, nor windows of Tiffany jewelry. It is, however, worth a few minutes of admiration itself.

According to the plaque placed by Heritage Montreal, the Acadia Apartments where designed by David Robertson Brown. It was the first apartment building  to take advantage of  a new municipal by-law that allowed buildings to exceed ten stories, following the standards and of apartment buildings in New York City at the time. It was built by 1925 in the Golden Square, with the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts and the Ritz Carlton already in situ. It is described to have been decorated with an artificial "cast" stone from Canadian Benedict Stone Limited, although I am not sure which if any stones apply.

From my perusal, The Acadia appears to be an apartment building with the intricate details above the entrance and near the top of its 12 story frame. There are elaborate corner extrusions that, on second glance, are not functional but represent a time when gargoyles drained the roof of water when it rains. The arcades repeat in the centre, above and below, with floral motifs and elaborate moldings that are almost too busy for my taste followed by faux arches in even numbers reminiscent of Venetian facades. 

When you take a closer look at the building, you see flawless brickwork. The shelf of Ventian arches are build out of cleverly cut out bricks, which leads you to notice a line of perpendicular bricks below that quickly becomes a stepping stone to discovering other patterns buried in the wall of dun coloured brick. 

Above each window is a simple interruption of vertical laying brick. Between two sets of evenly spaced window pairs is a wonderful upright herringbone pattern. At the top of these are another pattern of two stripes woven into long vertical rectangles.

Everything is to the scale of a humble brick, likely brought in by train in the era of the Golden Mild construction. The geometric balance of paired, and unpaired, is perfection.  A smaller brick woven in between other bricks of a varying neutral yellow colour that gives the aging building a patina worthy of praise and adoration.

Smaller brick layers (or are they just turned perpendicularly on end) are the "bonding courses".

My apologies to the Ritz Carlton, because the next time that I turn your corner, I may not be looking your way.

QUILTING

 I started watching a series called 3 Blocks, 30 Quilts to prepare for the sock quilt that has been cooling in a shoebox for too long. The instructor Kate Collaran is quite inspiring. She has a company that designs quilt patterns called Seams Like a Dream Designs.

She suggests colour families, and then pulls in an accent colour. She recommends a pop of colour, with the idea that if you have two complimentary colours, a third is necessary to bring in a contrast. She also sees colour families, or themes to pull colour together. If you have a beautiful complicated fabric, you can use it as an inspiration to pull the colours together for your quilt.

She suggests that you design patterns in a notebook with pencil crayons, which is what I like to do when I see a pattern that inspires me (the last one was from a scene from Shang-Chi). 

She talks about 1 block quilts, log cabins, four patch, and pinwheels! Start at a corner at bottom right, and at a strip to the top, then the left side, until your block is done.  

Don't forget to measure twice; cut once.

Use your iron, and "press" your fabric to start, once seams are sown, press flat, closed, then on the back, creating a four patch pinwheel to lay flat in behind, and then at each additional piece. 

She has a cutting mat that seems like a great size, and encourages the use of 2 rulers without turning your fabric. She uses a rotary cutter, and cuts multiple strips by multiplying and cutting a 6' strip before cutting it in half for 2-3' strips to minimize moving the fabric.

Sewing strips together, she gets a "good" quarter inch seams but starting the seam before she gets to her sewing foot with a guide. She recommends painter's tape as low residue. She recommends sewing slowly and steadily, don't "swing wide" at the beginning, and "following through" by getting all the way off before rushing the end of the seam.

Cross cutting units tidies up the edges to get rid of "wonky bits", of which I think I might have many.

Once you have 12, 24, or 48 blocks, you can arrange the setting of them all following all sorts of patterns. Each block is 12 inches. A large quilt is 48 blocks. A small quilt is 24.

If you are drawing on your squares (with half square triangles), you can glue a sandpaper on cardboard and draw without the fabric moving. 

The squares can be sewn as squares with centre seam allowances, then cut after the fact. Trim your dog ears before joining the next two triangles. This is advanced level!

Frixion pen ink disappears with ironing.

Another great resource is

CREATIVE WRITING PROMPTS: WEEK ONE

A rock is thrown through a window

Write a story about a character who interprets people's dreams

I told you so

INKTOBER

 In the month heading into NaNoWriMo, we have picked up a new daily habit of drawing and posting (to our fridge door) an ink sketch (preceded by a pencil draft), thanks to the prompts from Inktober. 

EVERYDAY IS TRUTH AND RECONCILIATION DAY

It's been an appallingly slow process to improve the heavily biased and often ignorant history taught in school to even begin to tell a more complete story. The Royal Commission on Aboriginal Peoples was published in 1996, but the apologies and settlements will be ongoing for generations to come. 

This year will remembered as a traumatic one for many reasons, but I don't think we will soon forget the discovery of 215 unmarked graves at the Kamloops residential school at the end of the school year has ballooned to a total that has yet to be confirmed but is being quoted as high as 6509. 

Here is a map of how extensive the system was. These horrific findings are not a surprise, but the rising counts of bodies between covid waves has coaxed along with a national conversation, marking September 30th as the first national marking of the long work that is Truth and Reconciliation.

My daughter participated in her school's organization of the day, wearing an orange shirt in honour of Phyllis Webstad. Like my daughter, her proud memory of being dressed up by her family for the exciting first day of school. Unlike my daughter, she arrived and was stripped of all of her clothes, including that beloved orange shirt, and it was never returned to her. Now we wear orange to recognize the harm done to Phyllis and countless others by the residential school system, and affirm our commitment to reconcile, apologized, and learn from the admission of the truth of systemic racism, and our need to turn this trauma to growth.

It is an embarassment and an affront that Premier Legault denies that systemic racism exists, and that . The coroner's report of Joyce Echaquan's death underlines the need for acknowledgement of systemic racism. 

Here is a link to a document called Myths and Realities of Indigenous People from the Quebec commission of human and child rights.

Coming from the University of Manitoba, that has been proactive in indigenous education of all students, there is a National Centre for Truth and Reconciliation 

THUNDERCLOUDS AT SUNSET

 

NATIONAL DOUKHOBOR HERITAGE VILLAGE, VERIGIN, SK

 Once upon a time, I visited this property while training at the hospital in Kamsack. I have a photo that I was standing in front of the historical two terraced prayer house with my mom. I have no recollection of it!

If I add it up, it was 25 years ago. Yikes!

GOOD FOOD

 

THIS IS HOW MY GARDEN GROWS: August

It's a bit unruly, and will need some rearranging when the weather is cooler and, hopefully, wetter, but the front bed is filling in from the street renovation work last year. 

I was worried that it was a waste of time to plant the garden as late as I did, but the basil, spinach and lettuce are a constant joy, and the peas are blooming so we will have a harvest soon. If the beans and cucumbers don't come to pass before the end of the growing season, I will do better next year. Today, I ate the first peas, and yesterday Princess Pirate said the peas reminded her of Grandma and Grandpa's garden, so that alone was worth the effort.

 

ON WRITING

Writing feels essentially a selfish act.  An attempt to thwart mortality and live on in words, that in future, you will no longer be able to speak. The opportunity to tell a story that no one else in your life is willing to listen to. It requires time away from other social interactions. Carved out from the time you could spend with others. The focus taken away from all sorts of other priorities. Time all for yourself. A pleasure only for the extremely shy and introverted and antisocial. A feeling of guilt for me. A futile exercise. A waste of time.

Living alone in covid, writing feels less selfish. With families insulating themselves at home, the extroverted demands of society dropped precipitously. Writing becomes therapy. One hand clapping in the forest, never to be heard. An attempt to refine one's thoughts. The defence you never had a chance to voice in real time. A legacy you leave without knowing who it is for, if anyone. A voice in the wilderness, perhaps sent out only to the vibrations of the vast magnificent universe itself.

Writing feels like necessity. The vice of selfishness I was taught, I now see as self-preservation. The church's idea of centuries warping the ancient ideas of a spectrum. From a balance of yin and yang, to Aristotle's Golden Mean twisted into black and white. If it's not a virtue, it is a vice. Selflessness is the virtue. Selfishness, the vice. Leaving no room for self-care or self-preservation.

Writing is self-care. Writing is for self-preservation. Writing is for me.

FRIDAY, EVERY OTHER WEEK

 I am always surprised at how low I can go on the day I say good-bye to my girl for another week at her dad's.

It's been almost 6 years since she left for a new apartment. It used to be that it was the end of the weekend, and I would dread beginning the week. A void was left in my heart every other week. 

There were many shifts I went in for in tears, with palpitations.

Eventually, it became clear to me that the schoolweek that followed depended on the weekend before, and after a few months of relentless advocacy, the day to say goodbye became Friday. 

It has evolved from an evening of tears, complete with sobbing to a recurrent disappointment with plans falling through and a bag of potato chips and a bag of licorice.

OUT WITH AN ACHILLE'S HEEL

I have been sitting on my duff for 2 days now, reading the first novel in the Apollo series by Rick Riordan. I am feeling that is ironic to be reading Greek mythology when I hurt my foot running after watching the beautiful race of Eliud Kipchoge in the Men's Olympic marathon. It also feels ironic that my thought was always that Achille's heel was a tendon rupture, but with the familiar lancing pain stemming from the insertion of my plantar fascia, I wonder if this wasn't the Greek hero's heel problem.

Turns out I should have just left well enough alone, and heel step like I had been for the last 6 weeks. None of the runners do that in the Olympics, though, and so I though I should try it out on Monday. By the ten minute mark, I had tried to correct my mistake, but then my ankle didn't seem to get any messages from my foot, and feeling disconnected from my right shin to the ground, I kept up an easy run, starting to shortcut the route, knowing that I still had about 4km left to get home. 

So here I sit, with a pair of crutches my constant companion, and Princess Pirate playing mother with glee. 

At least the ice pack is a relief in this heat wave, but I can feel my muscles atrophying and cardio dropping off, and I am terrified at how long it will be before I can get back it.

So, instead of running, I will write. I will try and get back to running as soon as I can, and not forget what I have done. And I will wear insoles and only run on trails, after I ice my heel as much as possible until I am back at it. 

I will also likely finish the Apollo series, and maybe the Heroes of Olympus, if I have too much time on my hands.

It has been quite a lesson in dependence and gratitude. I am not used to anyone doing anything for me, and I am told that I am bad patient. That being said, Princess Pirate has been very dutiful in taking care of me. She makes me meals, cleans up, carries my crutches, and generally chastises me for trying anything but moving to the couch with crutches. 

She has spent a LOT of time in the kitchen cleaning up, brings me breakfast in bed, composts every day, and revels in making a meal without a recipe. 

She made fresh pesto from the garden basil, and learned that canola oil is not EVOO. She has doctored our drinks with mint and lemon thyme, served me hot beverages, microwaved cheddar apple filled tortillas for a decent quesadilla, and, for the first time ever, boiled water unsupervised to serve us pasta with a side of corn, bean and cheddar salad.

I miss the climbing gym and waterslides and organizing the basement plans that we had this week, but I have seen a responsible side to PP that I didn't know possible, indulged in watching the first sport climbing Olympic event to debut at Tokyo 2020, and started to focus on the writing that was missing in July when I started running. 

My heel has cooled down a lot, so I hope this "sprain" calms down faster than the plantar fasciitis I got when I was in Spain and lasted for 6 months.

In the meantime, I have one more day to be spoiled and cooked for, so I booked us a swim tomorrow afternoon, and will get to bed soon. When breakfast arrives, PP has no qualms about waking me to enjoy it!