Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be beautiful. I never used to think about this because I had something else going for me. I had a decent body. I was confident. I laugh easily when relaxed. I am easy to convince to do something. I had other things to think about. But as I lose my assets, and the confidence that apparently hinged on them, I wish my face was strikingly beautiful. Just to be a pleasure to look at. See my value reflect back in others' eyes.
There are many people though, who have it a lot worse, and I think of them to remind myself to be grateful. Today I heard someone who was working at the Starbucks cash, and it sounded like a woman. I looked up and was surprised to see he was a man. That must be hard to have to surprise people. I should consider myself lucky to be largely ignored.
I think the patients I have seen in the hospital that I don't see walking around. The face cancers that erode into the skull. The people born with short limbs and funny heads. The totally dependent neurological patients.
I see why we love to watch the young. We are beautiful when we are young. There are versions of more beautiful and less beautiful, but being young has a beauty all on its own. There are moments when I am bowled over by a beautiful face, or a charismatic personality, and, like the cliché, I too admire a pretty face.
But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I hope that I have beauty that someone can see. I know that I see beauty where others seem not to. So keep your eyes open for the beauty that is everywhere. In the young, in the old, in the kind, in the bold, and even sometimes in the ugly. So I embrace who I am, and hope that I too am beautiful for someone. So I will try and lead with a smile, take care of what I have, and wear my heart on my sleeve. I will keep searching for beauty in everything I see. I will rejoice in the joy my sunshine girl brings. I will seek to be kind, and be open for kindness in return.
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