LES GRANDS BALLETS CAISSE-NOISSETTE WITH A LOGE AND A VIRUS

I love this ballet! I have been probably 8 times, and 4-5 times with my daughter. It hardly changes from year to year, which for a time disappointed me, but I enjoy now very much, as a tradition.

This year, a few additions were made possible. Firstly, the offer was for a loge, first row, was mentioned on renewing my subscription. Second, we went early for the "pre-show". I hadn't really known what it was, but it was a lively bilingual dramatization of the story of the ballet, with a lottery and one lucky winner got to be a mouse on stage in the first act! Lastly, my daughter had a cold, but she was pretty great and barely coughed. We were prepared though and had room for a pharmacy!

The curtain, romantic and familiar

Tic tacs, tissue, hand gel and water

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

First DECEMBER 25 Christmas Day, Christmas Dinner
Second DECEMBER 26 The Feast of Stephen, the first martyr,  the first feast: leftovers to the poor. Modern Boxing Day.
Third DECEMBER 27 St John's Day (only apostle that was NOT a martyr)
Fourth DECEMBER 28 Feast of the Innocents, the second feast
Fifth DECEMBER 29
Sixth DECEMBER 30
Seventh DECEMBER 31St Silvester
Eighth JANUARY 1 Feast of the Circumcision of Christ, the third feast
Ninth JANUARY 2
Tenth JANUARY 3
Eleventh JANUARY 4
Twelfth JANUARY 5 End of Christmas, Shakespeare's famous night, time to take down your decorations
JANUARY 6 Epiphany

1 A partridge in a pear tree
2 Turtle doves
3 French hens
4 Calling Birds
5 Golden Rings
6  Geese a Laying
7 Swans a Swimming
8 Maids a Milking
9 Ladies Dancing
10 Lords a Leaping
11 Pipers Piping
12 Drummers Drumming

12 days with 12 wishes for the 12 months of the new year

ELATION AND JUBILATION

We humans are a funny lot. When things are calm or good, we have time to complain. But give a guy a car crash, and a girl leaving work an unwanted detour, and the results can be surprising!

I was leaving work a little late, but with all my paper work completed. I had to make a detour to pick up my medical bag at another hospital and then I was on my way home. The trouble was that I had left the house in the middle of a snowstorm, and had managed to forget my charging phone at home. Had I taken the same route home, I wouldn't have had any difficulty, despite the detours, because I know them well. But I was coming from somewhere else, and without my phone, I was at the whim of my tired memory, and poor sense of direction. In a word, I was lost. But I was headed in the right direction, and wasn't finding any indication of blockades, so I kept winding through increasingly familiar streets until I was hopeful to be on my way to the highway when I saw a car parked in a snowbank. The driver was in the car, not indicating any need for help, but as I passed, it was clear this was not intentional. So I stopped and offered my help, and most importantly my shovel, which the driver was not in possession of. The car had the same system as mine to turn off traction control, which I had been reminded of earlier on my way in when I struggled up a hill on my way to work, so I turned it off, but with the wheels clear, there was no movement. I kept trying to shovel, with the gentleman taking it from me to do the bulk of the work, but it wouldn't budge. But by then another passerby stopped, and we kept shovelling under the car. It was perched on a hard pack of snow, and we were about to lose the third pair of hands to futility, when a fourth man passed by and offered to push. By then the snow was nearly carved out, and the three men on the front bumper pushed as I drove in reverse, and the car was free.

The man dropped the shovel and came at me with his arms wide open and lifted high up in the air. His face was elated and he gave me the biggest hug I have ever had from a stranger with kisses to each cheek until I wondered when it was polite to stop! It was a feeling of jubilation that could only happen in the context of unfortunate circumstances. His accident and my detour led to a triumph, albeit a small one.

So to the man who crashed his Acura tonight, Merry Christmas! Thanks for turning my detour into a triumph of the human spirit! Without your need, my shovel was not useful. Because of your need, my shovel was valuable. Because of our struggles, others came to help. We could not have done it alone, and we were not alone when we needed more help.

I have been reflecting a lot on the bigger ideals of life: resilience, charm, grace, generosity, humility, kindness, patience, loyalty, hope and faith. But it was a surprise to be reminded of other human emotions that I did not realize had value, even if it is not a daily occurence.  My early morning encounter was a fleeting brush with joy and accomplishment. It was definitely worth the detour!

AIN'T AIN'T A WORD

I'm not quite sure how it started, but my daughter has been singing silly songs all week, most of them with the refrain above! I think they must have read it in a book recently, but I have always found the word interesting when adults use it in normal language.

Today I heard a cook talking about her pumpkin cake, and she pronounced it "pun-kin". I love the total lack of self-awareness it takes not to hear it wrong. My daughter is almost finished "correcting" those endearing mistakes, but she still has a few. They are more sophisticated words now: specific comes out "pacific". She sometimes still insists something is "lit-er-al-ly" something, because it sounds like a great emphasizing word, but she applies it indiscriminately to objective and subjective ideas. A precursor to this was "actually". A little trying on vocabulary that will make her a better conversationalist, but adorable while it is a little off the mark.

When she was little, she called the cat litter "glitter", or, my favourite, "glitter box". She's totally corrected that error, and now I miss it.  My life is the poorer for it, but in another sense, it was a phase bound to end.

It reminds me of a Harvard graduation speech I heard by Natalie Portman. I guess that was her alma mater after she was famous for Star Wars. She talks about finding her "meaning in the experience" instead of worry about trophies/prizes, which freed her to chose jobs she was passionate about, and pursue" meaningful experiences". But the most interesting idea was her impression from ballet. Once your technique is perfected, "your quirks or even flaws" are what set you apart. "You can never be the best, technically".  That's not achievable. But she "encourages" us "to develop our own self", because that's what people will remember. Another idea she mentions dovetailed into my ongoing embrace of risk taking, mistakes and potential failure. She says,  she was "so oblivious of her own limits that she did things she was woefully unprepared to do." Her "complete ignorance to" her "own limitations looked like confidence". She goes on to say, " Fear protects us in many ways". What has served her "is diving into my own obliviousness... Your inexperience is an asset, and will allow you to think in original and unconventional way(s). Accept your lack of knowledge and use it as your asset."

So while I used to think my high school beau should know what he is talking about when he tried to apply big words without the proper meaning or pronunciation, now I find the grace to see that he was, like a child, just brave enough to keep learning.

THE GIFT OF THE MAGI

This year I chose to work Christmas, and I didn't come off too badly. I work Christmas evening but not Christmas Day, and I thought that was very fair. After twenty years of working shifts, I have had my share of Christmases off while I was able to choose to work New Years. This year would be the third Christmas since my separation, and my daughter would be with her dad. I have had two years now to see how his side of the family would react, and I knew I would be spending it alone. We have an agreement though, for major holidays, that some part of it is spent with both parents, which usually works. It's usually really last minute though, and my shifts are always preplanned and his family is always last minute, so it's luck of the draw if it works out. I have learned to be flexible, and fortunately my sometimes quite inflexible daughter has been incredible in being flexible too.

This time, unlike last year, no family would be coming my way. This has nearly always been the case. I spent Christmas a lot of different ways over the years. I went home for a while, but it's hard to go home after a while when it never goes the other way. I worked quite a few. I spent one memorable Christmas with cousins in Ontario which ended abruptly when I found out with a desperate message on my answering machine that I was late for my shift and 6 hours away, somehow miscounting the days with families celebrating in different households over several dates!

The first year I was separated, I worked since I didn't have my daughter. She came over with her dad Christmas evening. I made supper and he read The Night Before Christmas. Christmas day, they got up, did stockings and opened gifts and then came over to my place. I thought they would wait for presents, but I didn't have many anyway for me, so it made no difference to my daughter. At the time, her dad didn't have a car, so I drove her and her dad to Christmas with her grandparents and then off to work. It was strange. For 13 years I had celebrated with this family. I had bought any gifts, or made any parts of the meal, or brought the wine. But then it was over. As if, after all that time, I was only ever tied to them through my husband. As if we had no other relationship.

The second year I was separated, I had Christmas off and I had my daughter, and my brother came, and it was wonderful. For the first time in 20 years since I moved to this province, I could make treats that he also would identify as nostalgic.  He brought some old standbys too. We made snowmen and skied. It was the best and most genuine Christmas I had ever had in Montreal!

Again, and as expected it was weird with her dad. But despite it being a one way street, Christmas is not the time of exclusion, at least not for me. So I invited his family, who said an enthusiatic, sure! but they only stayed awkwardly on the couch for a few minutes for the sake of a dear aunt who hadn't been briefed on the exclusions they were invoking when they picked him up. They didn't stay after all.  My daughter's dad was invited, but he also didn't stay for the meal he was invited to, and also didn't say so until he abruptly got picked up before we started the meal. He set up the stockings  at his house before Christmas and explained Santa wasn't real, and exchanged gifts before Christmas, as if to lessen what I had to offer. But these things have to be let go, so that my daughter can celebrate, wherever she goes.

This year, I found a used copy of O. Henry's book of short stories, and for the first time I read my favorite Christmas story to my daughter, The Gift of the Magi. I tried not to embarrass myself with tears, but it is just so moving! These kinds of sacrifices are not seen in this age of credit cards. But they were made with such love.

This story meant a lot more to me tonight.

A few weeks ago, I started thinking about the holidays. I asked my daughter's dad what days he worked the week he had her, I found out that both of us were working the week after Christmas. I was off for the thursday and friday, and he would get Christmas day off, but there was no doubt that Boxing day in the merchandise business was going to be a workday. I offered a colleague to do his Christmas day shift, so that I could be with my daughter while her dad worked. This meant that I would leave work at 1am and return at 8, and that for the first time in a long time, I would work both Christmas evening and day, but for me it was worth the sacrifice. I told her dad that I was able to switch, so that he wouldn't have to worry about it. He got his grandparents to agree to have her the day after.  My daughter wouldn't have to worry about anything. She was taken care of for the week. I would have a little less sleep but would be able to spend time with her eventually, after she spent the holidays with her Dad's family.

Then her dad called tonight. Don't worry he says. I got it switched. I don't work Boxing Day anymore. I felt a familiar pang that Jim and Della felt. Really? I said, incredulous. I had Christmas day off, with an understanding that I would see my daughter on that day, and now am working both evening and day, with little sleep, not to make sure she is taken care of but for no benefit to anyone.
I hope one day she understands what lengths I have gone to to take care of her. I hope she sees what I would do, even if what I do is undone and futile.

THE TAO OF PACMAN

I think some of the best screenwriting is seen on tv, which seems like an unlikely atmosphere, given the immense pressure to produce a weekly script. I saw a recent episode of This Is Us, and yet again the dialogue and story were touching and thoughtful and funny. I am truly amazed!

My favorite thread was a memory of one of the triplets, Randall. He made a poignant statement about pacman while discussing a difficult decision with his wife. He was remembering the hours he played pacman as a kid, and was reminiscing about teaching his daughters to play. He referred to the simplicity of the game. Running from ghosts. Performing the unending "Sisyphean" task of endless eating dots and escaping ghosts, level after level. I thought it was simple and true. It reminded me of the Tao of Pooh, and I thought it was beautifully done. But after Randall speaks, instead of mirroring the sentiment, his wife gives him this look, and asks him what he is talking about. It turned from serious to funny, and their polar opposites played in balance yet again

Still, there is something simple in the game of pacman that echoes some of the truths of the universe. Just keep moving. Avoid pitfalls. If you don't make it, try again. Practice. Practice. Practice.

So to all of those exhausted writers in a room somewhere, trying to think of their next great idea, and refining the stories and conversations of their next show: Keep making magic! I admire your craft!

BUCKET LIST 2018

LIT 66 with nephew as senior February YES!
4th of July in USA NEXT YEAR?
Run half marathon Ottawa Tulip Festival NO BUT SIGNED UP FOR MONTREAL SEPTEMBER
Medieval feast/castle in TO, Brockville Fulford house, Adirondacks (Tom Thompson)?2020
Hike Hautes Gorges and Grand-Jardins ?2020
Stewart hall camp TWO WEEKS
Organize cooking - menu and recipes WOP (work in progress)
Apple picking in Rougement?2019
NYC Central Park, Natural hx museum?2020
Louisville inn with vegetarian menu at 100 St. Laurent, Victorian style B and B half way to QC
Berlin zoo/ Peacock Island YES!(?Ammersee, Cuxhaven, Leibzig, Dresden, Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Munich, Andech)

RICE AND LENTILS WITH FETA AND A SLICE OF SPANAKOPITA

POTATOES WITH ALL THE FIXIN'S

Maple beans, avocado, grated cheddar, chives

A CARD HOLDER YOU COULD MAKE IN CARDBOARD

ON THE BOTTOM OF MY SAUCONY RUNNERS BOX, WHEN I WAS TAPING IT CLOSED TO SEND AS A PACKAGE

A MESSY BUN OF BEAUTIFUL HAIR

JOSEPH CAMPBELL QUOTE

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

TONIGHT I RUN FOR HOLLY

Running starts with eating. Eating light. Not overeating. It's uncomfortable, often cold or too hot. Something usually hurts.

Today I have my running clothes on, day 2.

Yesterday I watched a youtube video about a dad and a daughter who ran a 100 miler together for the first time. He was 59.  I didn't run. I worked late.

Today I got up late. I went to a Christmas fair where I had part of a pretzel. On return, I ate a box of candy, and ate breakfast and lunch at the same time, instead of running.

But today I ran for Holly. She called when I was debating about an early supper or a nap. Running was vaguely a choice but I was warm under a blanket, and if she hadn't called from the parking lot of the Salvation Army before she dropped off donations this afternoon, I might not have gone for a run.
Because she gave me 15 minutes to text her that I was going for a run. And texted again when the 15 minutes passed.

But I was getting ready. I listened to the end of Zahn and Sia's Dust to Dawn while my phone charged. I drank water to rehydrate after my glass of wine earlier. One trip to the bathroom, put my hair in a ponytail, threw off the lap blanket, zipped off my warm Lululemon scuba hoodie, laced up my runners, put on my gloves and quilted jacket and junky toque. It was dark, so I found my head lamp and finally, I was off.

I ran through the forest on a crunchy trail, up a hill perfect for tobogganing once it snows, by my daughter's school, through the train tunnel where a bearded millenial was lighting up a joint, along the water past dog walkers who often gave me berth, through the village lit up for Christmas where a gaggle of girls made way for the "runner" and a toddler cheered me on, and finally back up the hill through the golf course and home.

I was happy and tired and chilled when I got home, but a change into pjs and a check-in with my inspiring friend, and a hot soup, and here I sit, warmed up, and grateful for the run, and my friend.

Thanks! Today I ran for you!

THANKSGIVING TAKE TWO

The thing about shift work is that you miss a lot of holidays. I like to make them up, at a later date, because then it doesn't feel like you missed anything, but just delayed it.

Now, I am missing even more events. I am glad that my daughter celebrates with her dad's family on the proper day, but sometimes it means that I do miss the holiday after all.

This year, Thanksgiving was one such holiday. But I was able to use the oddness of two Thanksgiving to make up for it. Canadian Thanksgiving had come and gone, but the Macy's day parade and some homemade treats were reason to celebrate on the American Thanksgiving Day.

The perogies were fun to make together, but the dough gets tough quick so we had to work quickly. We were careful not to overstuff and made enough with leftovers for another meal. This time I tried a recipe with the end of the dough and leftover mashed potato cheddar filling. Basically, combined together, they were cooked as dumplings and quite yummy. This time I used Balderson 2 year aged cheddar, and it was spectacular!

To try:

Quick Pierogi
1-2 cups mashed potatoes
1 egg
1 cup cheddar cheese (half if good aged cheddar)
salt and pepper to taste
flour

Mix potatoes with egg, salt, pepper and cheese. Add flour until a soft dough is formed. Drop by teaspoonful into boiling water and boil for 20 minutes. Drain and serve with butter and onions.

Lastly, and really only for me, I peeled a rutabaga (turnip) and 6 carrots, chopped them in chunks, and cooked until tender. They were mashed but chunky so I pureed them in a food processor with margarine and milk. With the puree at the bottom, I made the dressing and baked in the oven at 350C until warmed through. It was just as I remembered, but maybe a little moist. I couldn't find the recipe, if there is one, but I think the dressing should be just fried in the margarine without the water reconstitution.

Happy Thanksgiving, un ou deux fois!

Homemade Perogies, large and small

Baked turnip and carrots with Stove Top Stuffing (see recipe in Christmas Squash)

Honeyed carrots, mashed potatoes, pirogies, quick pierogi and turnip bake

I am so thankful!

BANANA BREAD WITH BUTTERSCOTCH CHIPS

Betty Crocker makes a mean banana bread!

LIBRARY SURPRISES

I love taking out a book and finding someone's due date slip to follow. Today the slip only revealed the name of the book I sought out, Hidden Figures. I like when a person's list is long enough to have something else to consider, like a treasure hunt.

KIDNAPPING AND THE TALIBAN

To my loved ones, if I am ever kidnapped, do not pay my ransom.

It appears that paying works, but the money goes to fund terrorism. That is a terrible conflict to resolve, but I know what I would want. Check out this podcast for more.

NON STARTER

I heard on a drama recently the use of the phrase, "non starter". I think it was meant to simplify the latin "non sequitur ", but I am not sure it is any more clear. I think the clearest translation is "it doesn't follow" or even more simply, "that doesn't make sense" or "that has no logic".

MY BEST QUOTE OF THE DAY

I was at work and asked the office fixer to look at the tonopen (that measures eye pressure) yet again, because it was not calibrating on a couple of attempts, so I wouldn't be able to trust the result.

It was a busy day, and he came to me to ask me to withdraw my request, claiming that each time he takes it to the technical department they try it and it works.

I understood he really didn't need to have another thing to do that day, but this wasn't going to be satisfactory to ignore the problems with a vital machine.

I said, "It can't just work once. It has to work most of the time."

I must have been convincing, because the resident laughed, and he took it away, begrudgingly, to be looked at again.

MY IDENTITY

I am a lover of beauty.
I am a runner with an eating disorder, which sometimes make me a bad runner. I am fighting it!
I will always look for the abnormal, not the normal.
I cannot let perceived injustice go. I will always feel morally outraged.
I love to adore people and see the good in them.
I will always feel responsible.
I love a good laugh, but I know life is often serious.
I am morally a vegetarian, but I understand the need for being an omnivore. I cannot, however, celebrate being a carnivore, and abhore how we farm animals today.
I am environmentally conscious and believe we all should leave the smallest imprint on the planet possible.
I prefer experiences over things.
I love nature and need to be outdoors often.
I will never be skinny again.
I loved to be hugged and kissed.
I am an introvert, but like to socialize.
I like to get things done.
I feel the world would be a better place if everyone looked out for each other.
I believe humans are, in general, good.
I value kindness and charm but don't trust it.
I hate owing people and prefer going dutch.
I am a romantic.
I used to be confident but I am not often anymore.
I believe in a being greater than ourselves to explain the wonders of the universe.
I am a mother full time, with part time with my daughter.
I am a doctor.
I have many regrets and fear my life might be too limited to change this.
I speak my mind without much filtering and value directness over playing games.
I was convinced that punctuality is a waste of time early on in my career, but also believe that punctuality is the politeness of princes.
I often am lazy and enjoy wasting time.
I like to do things well and carefully.
I enjoy having a lot of time to do something.
I perform better under pressure, observation and accountability.
I like to be generous.
I feel saved money is security.
I like to learn, but often feel limitations to my intelligence.
I struggle to be creative but feel relieved to entertain it.
I feel a shared experience is often more valuable than one done alone.
I think before I act and rarely act without thinking.
I rarely lose my temper without warning, but would consider myself too often impatient.
I believe honest is the best policy, but admit that being blunt is often harsh, and needs to be tempered.
I believe temperance on most subjects.
I find forgiveness to be essential in life, but admit that some people go too far and exceptionally lose my trust.
I believe life is precious and valuable and worth protecting.
I need good friends in my life, but very few aquaintances.
I need men and women and children and elderly in my life to feel balanced.
I know life isn't fair.
I am very grateful for what I have.
I like to do things for myself.
I love design. If you can have practicality and beauty, why wouldn't you try to have both?
I love great communication, but know that it does not come easily to me.
I think it is hard to live with people and believe everyone has a right to their own space.
I hate evil and ugly things.
I love passionate people.
I am introverted, sensing, thinking, judging (ISTJ).
I am cool blue unless under pressure when I am fiery red.
I am a good observer and enjoy being a supporter and a helper.
I speak too fast and listen too poorly.
I believe marriage to be a thing apart, needing partnership and attention and respect and faith. I believe both partners need to give their all, not half half. I believe that one of the greatest acts of love is doing something for the other that doesn't matter to you. I believe communication is essential but I think sometimes it just isn't working. I believe life is too precious to let a partner disengage and keep pouring in your investment. You are allowed some self-interest.

TAPAS AND A CHICK FLICK

My friend often makes a big spread and shares it with us girls. This time we thought we'd share the burden, potluck style, and bring tapas for a crowd. I think it ended up being just as much effort, but, wow, the variety! We had so much delicious food!

We watched Enough Said, a slow moving odd romance between actors Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini, and talked until after midnight. It was wonderful.

Rice crackers (gluten free), mayo, I think, fresh avocado, and Barefoot Contessa's eggplant dip that my smart friend freezes in batches for just such occasions!

Eggrolls and dipping sauce

Zucchini roses with puff pastry(trimmed short to perfection) and cheddar. Perfection!

Stuffed mushrooms with bacon and a few vegetarian, nearest the bottom,  just for me!

Potato wedges with bacon and cheese

Broiled golden cauliflower

Potato tortilla, or rösti

Stir fry with the cutest take out boxes!

When foodies come together, it's a party!

Stirfried noodles

The perfect tapas plate with devilled egg

Well we barely had room but we had to have coffee liqueur with rich chocolate dessert

THE ENDOWMENT EFFECT

We know it well now, but it used to be assumed that people made economic choices rationally. But one man won a Nobel Prize for proving this to be wrong. Richard Thaler, who came up with the idea of mental accounting, set up an experiment. He gave half the class a free mug, and nothing to the other half. The mug owners were allowed to sell the mugs to the ones without. You would expect rational behaviour of selling the mugs, as it is automatic profit. But it turns out that having something makes you overvalue it. This is the endowment effect. Not all of the mug owners would sell their mugs at the price negotiated. The mug owners valued their mugs double to what the mug buyers wanted to pay. Interesting, right?

We have a lot of wrong ideas when it comes to our mental accounting. Not all days work are equal. We are more likely to spend more with a credit card than with cold hard cash. So it leads me to a couple of other ideas. Is this why hoarders get sentimental about their stuff? And if you have something, make sure you don't overvalue it, and get rid of it for a reasonable amount, probably half of what you think you deserve!

LESSONS FROM MARATHON TRAINING

I've been obsessed with long distance running lately, but still not doing enough of it. So to add to my inspirations, I just watched a TED talk on a business class that requires you to train and run a marathon to pass the course. Andrew Johnston distills the lessons into one essential quote: "It's not about doing the OCCASIONAL BIG things, it's about doing the CONSISTENT SMALL things."
This is where I get derailed, and living two lives isn't helping. But the one big day doesn't make up for all the other days I didn't do something. So I am inspired not only to run less distance but more often, but also to try everyday to do the things I need to do, for myself, to be healthy, and for my daughter, so that when I miss a day or two, it's an aberration and not a norm.

RULES FOR DIVISIBILITY

I helped my grade six daughter with her homework tonight and learned things I never knew.
Here's how to find out if there are multiples in any given number. Here's the youtube video that we learned it all from:

1.No explanation necessary. The answer is yes.
2. Any even number is divisible by 2.

Okay, this is where it gets interesting:

3. If you add up any number, your sum, if divisible by 3, is going to be divisible by three. For example, 458, 230 adds up to 22, which is not divisible by 3. This also eliminates the possibility of it being divisible by 6 or 9. If 22 is too big a number for you, you can add the digits together to get 4, and no for sure that it is not divisible by 3. Another example, 72,452, which adds up to 20, also not divisible by 3. Another example, 383, 655 adds up to 30. This is a number divisible by 3.

4. For divisibility by four, you just need to look at the last 2 numbers, no matter how big the number. For the numbers above: 458, 230, the number 30 is not divisible by 4. In 72, 451, the number 51 is not divisible by 4. Lastly, in the number 383, 655, the number 55 is not divisible by 4.

5. Five is another one most people recognize. If the number ends in 0 or 5, it is divisible by 5.

6. To be divisible by 6, it should be an even number also divisible by 3.

7. To be divisible by 9, add up the numbers, and divide the sum.

Hope that helps!

MARK'S AD NAUSEUM

I want to let you in to a little secret.
What we do defines who we are.
It's not where we're from or what we said.
It's the commitments we make,
the promises we keep,
the sweat we pour.
We are the well worn.
This is who we are.

IF YOU OWN A HOME, YOU CAN GIVE UP YOUR GYM MEMBERSHIP!

I have a colleague that calls himself a gym rat. He likes to go everyday.

In contrast, I own a house. I get core training raking leaves, hauling the garbage, recycling and compost bins out. My arms get a workout shaking out the carpet, mowing the lawn, and mopping the floors. I can get 10,000 steps in and around my house.

Good thing, since with house payments, taxes, and maintenance, I can't afford a gym membership!

So if you don't have a house, enroll in a gym. But if you have a house, be glad that it gives you an excuse to exercise. It's good for you!

SCHADENFREUDE AND GÖNNEN

Schadenfreude (German) - Pleasure in someone else's misfortune
Commiseration - Feeling someone's pain, sympathetic
Compassion - Displeasure and wanting to alleviate someone's pain, empathetic
Mudita (Sanskrit),  sich gönnen (German)-  Pleasure in someone else's pleasure (vicarious joy, not pride, not self-interested), enjoying someone's good pleasure,

BEING META

The example that started this entry was "Stay meta". In colloquial terms, this seems to mean "self-aware".

From organic chemistry, I remember meta being a position on an organic ring. The position near the R group is ortho-, the next position is meta-, and the position opposite (third from the R group of a hexagon) para-. Meta comes from the greek, signifying the middle.

Meta is self-referential. It is art that reflects on art. It's a movie about making movies. It's the data about data.

So if you came from the generation I did, the Greek version still applies to the middle position of the benzene ring.  Metadata is still at data about data. But now a new generation is using it to talk about themselves. I am mindful. I am introspective and extraspective simultaneously. I am meta.

CANDY CORN PIZZA

My daughter and I have watched every Nerdy Nummies episode ever made. But sometimes we actually make the recipe!

This was an Halloween inspired pizza that is meant to mimic the classic candy I like but is not so popular now that chocolate is ubiquitous. As a pizza, it was perfect for both of us!

Ricotta center, orange cheddar and a ring of gouda

Looking like the candy corn with a side of sweet yellow pepper.

CREEPY CHOCOLATE CARAMEL ALMOND CLUSTERS FROM VIRGINIA

It was about to be Halloween and my uncle found these delicious creepy treats in Carytown, Richmond, Virginia at a store called For The Love Of Chocolate. They were delicious! They came from SWEETSHOPUSA.COM.

ZOOBOOMAFOO

Every five years, my daughter decides that she needs a costume that cannot be bought or simply put together. This time, she wanted to be Zaboo, a sifaka lemur. So I went to the fabric store and found this, and got permission with modifications to use two soft furs to recreate the beloved beast.
So I cut out the pieces and the entire room was covered in fine fur. I added to my skills by reading the manual for my zipper foot.

I made a few mistakes, most late at night and a waste of time, but fixable.

In the end, she was happy and warm. I even managed to suspend the tail in the manner of a wedding train with a button when the coat hanger and stuffing failed.

I wonder what her next idea will be?

The first pattern I have bought and cut out for decades!

Pieces cut out and ready to sew

Fuzz everywhere!

Coming together

When I knew it was getting late! I sewed the ears together! I should have stopped there, but I proceded to rip the seams apart, only to discover that it was of the part I had done properly! The next day, it came together quite easily, and no further errors!

A zipper foot

My first zipper!

The final costume, mitts and gaiters included!

RASÖI

Once in a while I get out. On this occasion it was with MAD, so we closed down the place and still ran out of time! We are getting smarter, so we booked the next meeting before the end of this one.

We had decided on Rasöi, an Indian fusion restaurant recommended to my friend. They had a original pricy list of cocktails. They did not go lightly on the alcohol. It was interesting that the waitress recommended differenty drinks based on our gender. In the end I chose a mango mojito which was simple (rum, lime, mint, mango nectar) but satisfying. My friends tried the Brownskin Jabro (Amrut Single Malt Indian Whisky, Campari, Averna, saffron rosewater syrup) and the Broken Rickshaw (El Tinieblo Mezcal, Raynal VSOP Brandy, Cynar, Khalua, orange bitters) and seemed to enjoy them both, but I think they were jealous of my drink and my gender!

The food was not amazing for the cost. I am quite spoiled for great Indian food nearby with Sahib and Pushap making me very happy. The one standout dish I would recommend is the Chicken Biryani, which was not fusion but a great traditional dish. We tried the Aloo Ghobi, butter chicken and Palak kale paneer. They all fell short of the traditional fare.  I had the coconut shrimps and scallops which were quite good. They did have a nice fresh naan also.

So go for drinks, expect to pay a lot, and order the biryani. But for the same money, I would recommend enjoying 2 buffet lunches at Sahib, and a thali plate with a box of takeaway sweets from Pushap.

Street Cart Spring Rolls, Onion Bhajuis, and Venison Samosas

Light and crispy spring rolls stuffed with cabbage, peppers, eggs and cilantro, served with a sweet and spicy Thai chili sauce. Nice presentation and perfect for three.

Flaky pastries stuffed with lightly spiced ground Venison served with an okra infused mustard, mango chutney and  "Kachumber" salad. Unfortunately devoid of gamey flavor and the texture of ground beef.

Lightly spiced onion fritters served with a tamarind and date chutney and cilantro chutney. I liked the serving dish, but they were not special in any way.

BYRIANI show stopper - Curry chicken fried rice served with masala dusted tiger prawns, crispy fried onions and a medium boiled egg with a side of cucumber garlic raita.

MOVIE REVIEW: THE RACE

Since the movie Music and Lyrics came out, I have been much more aware at the art and craft of deciding the title of a movie. ( I dare you to watch the film, and try naming it something better. I still hate the title, but I have learned to respect the difficulty, and have yet to think of a superior alternative!) The movie title has two meanings, making it a homonym. Oddly, they chose it despite a solid French title of Dix Seconds de Liberté, and 2 other films in the last decade of exactly the same name! So I am speaking of the movie Race 2016.

Another interesting piece of trivia is that Jessie wasn’t his name. He was misunderstood when he said J.C. (James Cleveland) in his Southern accent when he moved to Ohio.

This movie was a unique story based in the reality of Jessie Owen’s Olympic wins at a time in history when two giant cultures were discriminating against different races. It explores the decisions Jessie would have faced before and competing in 1936 Berlin. The treatment of Jewish colleagues are touched on, and the freedom of black athletes at the Olympic village a sober reminder of the segregation that still remained in the US at that time.

I suspect many historical liberties were taken in the writing of the script, but if you accept the characters as the best version of themselves, it was a great story of raw talent in the midst of difficult times. It stands as a reminder of ongoing injustice, and how an individual has to swallow a lot of bile to be a difference the world can admire. It was inspirational, personal, and well worth watching!

MOVIES WORTH WATCHING

Race- Jessie Owen and the USA in 1936 Berlin Olympic Games
Now you see me- Fictional slight of hand and performance magic with a little long game
You've Got Mail - charming romance set in NYC in the fall
The Imitation Game - mathematician Alan Turing cracks the enigma code during WWII
Schindler's List - Oskar Schindler saves Jew from the Holocaust
Catch Me if you Can - the bold life of Frank Abagnale is better than fiction
A Beautiful Mind - an alternate life for John Nash living with schizophrenia
Erin Brockovich - a plucky single mom becomes a legal resource and environmental advocate
Flash of Genius - the story of the invention of the intermittent windshield wiper
Amadeus - the story of Wolfgang Mozart
To Kill a Mockingbird - Atticus Finch is a just lawyer and father in a terrible time of prejudice
La Dolce Vita - one man makes the Holocaust reality more than just survival
Harry Potter series - one the best fantasy junior fiction books brought to life
Inception - mindblowing cgi with a great soundtrack
Matrix - turned my world upside down
Iron Man - a great super hero flight of fancy
Mary Poppins - the combination of a great story and Disney magic
The Princess Bride - the best romantic adventure story ever told
The Truman Show - things are not as they seem
Groundhog Day - what would you do if your life reset every night?
Finding Nemo and Finding Dory - an adventure with two fish that help each other find their way
Spy Kids - every kid's dream adventure
The Sound of Music - a great musical from a blended family
Becoming Jane - if Pride and Prejudice was from real life
Night at the Museum - NYC natural history
Da Vinci Code  (Inferno)- run through Paris with symbolist Robert Langdon (run through Florence and Istanbul)
Can't Buy Me Love - before he was McDreamy, he was a geeky guy that had to grow into his own
50 First Dates - one of my favourite sweet romances
Shakespeare in Love - Where did you go Joseph Fiennes?
Narnia - beautiful rendition with an amazing CG Aslan
Prince Caspian - My favorite of the series
10 things I hate about you - shakespeare dummies comes to a high school near you
How to lose a Guy in 10 days - Funny and true
Moneyball - when you risk it all and win
Fool's Gold - a great adventure story
Jumanji - kid's adventure movie
Star Wars - I don't have to explain this one
Return of the Jedi - ditto
Pirates of the Caribbean - a great disney adventure
Sultan - bollywood - it has it all
Slumdog Millionaire - difficult life made beautiful
Memento - mind binding
Butterfly Effect - parallel lives
The Age of Adelaine - beautiful romance
Le Fabuleux Destin d' Amelie Poulin - Montmartre at its finest
Hidden Figures- what you didn't know at NASA
Lion - adoption story that is all heart
Dead Poets Society - education with soul
The Big Short - what you need to know about investing
Salt of the Earth - beautiful documentary of the world
The Social Network - the man that gave us Facebook
The Blind Side - heartwarming story of a supportive foster mom
Spotlight - true story of the Catholic church coverup in Boston (and the world)
Mr. and Mrs. Smith - my favorite date night
Date Night - when things go awry with the best comedians!
The Other Guys - I laughed so hard
Fun with Dick and Jane - it could be you and me!
Yes Man - what a relief from a world that too often says no
Girl on the Train - not the greatest thriller in book (Gone Girl wins my vote but movie is terrible) but the greatest book to thriller movie yet (not the grandeur of Da Vinci Code, but way more developed)
The Shape of Water- Oscar winning, complex, exquisite work of Art by Guillermo del Toro

NAMES THAT DON’T WORK IN OTHER LANGUAGES

Melina - a girl’s name, from the Greek for honey, phonetically identical to the medical term for black stool, melena, representing digested blood, and most often due to a stomach ulcer
Shaden - an Arabic girl’s name, meaning sadness in German
Becky - a young gay man in the Philippine's
Randy, Willy, Johnson, Dick, Fanny - self explanatory in English!
Randy - prostitute in Hindi
Laura - a dick in Hindi
Guy - cow in Hindi
Cecila - blind in spanish
Portia - pig
Molly - bitter
Mary - rebellion, bitter
Dolores, Lola - lady of sorrows
Leah - tired or weary
Lilith - ghost or night monster
Kennedy - deformed head
Emily - rival
Claudia - lame, disabled

KUMQUATS IN FRANCE

"FORTUNELLA"

We were walking down the hill from the train station in Nice, and my attention was arrested by a tree with a fruit I had never seen before. Coming from Quebec, and loving food, I have a pretty wide vocabulary for edible things, but when a friend French man noticed my interest, he told me the name and even wrote it down on my bag for me, but it was not until I came across the name again did I realize that the fruit was a Kumquat!

Maybe I should go to the fruit store in spring and ask for a fortunella, and see if that's what we call it here.

If I had had more familiarity, I would have picked one, ripe in the French Riviera springtime and eaten it!

The "fortunella" tree

The nice man about to give up in explaining what this silly tourist should understand!

ALL LIVES MATTER AND YOU TOO

We live in an unfair world. There are injustices everywhere. We are all benefiting from someone somewhere at sometime who spoke up on our behalf.

But it makes me cringe when those who speak up label themselves.

I suppose it began for me with feminism. I owe a great deal to the equality movement. I remember reading an excerpt from an Austrian Princess at the museum at the foot of Neuschwanstein who was ashamed to be allowed to study beside men. There was never any self-consciousness about me attending university. I am not sure that the reservations my parents had for me for medical school had all to do with my gender. But I will never in this lifetime be equal to my male colleagues, even often in nursing. If I stand at the bedside with a male nurse or 21 year old male medical school student, with my ID and uniform labelled as doctor,  I would estimate that the majority of time, my colleague is identified as the doctor and I the nurse. How much do my valid statements resonate when the patient is reoriented to me? Are they listening to me as a doctor, or as a female doctor? Why can't a just be the doctor, regardless of my gender? But what I see of the movement of "equality" is the tendency to want more than the other side. As though, because the pendulum has swung too far to one side, it is required to push past the middle and claw away something from the other side. But this is also not equality. So while the innocent child can say, "Anything you can do, I can do better", this is not what the disenfranchised can say to the other side. This is also why I hate to label the sides. We are all a complex mishmash of labels, but each one does not serve to unite us with others, but seems only to divide.

It is appalling what the colour of your skin can mean. I believe whole heartedly that black lives matter, and that atrocities are being committed everyday because of skin colour, and gender, and religion and orientation, and opinion. But if I am not black, I matter too. If I am not female, I matter too. If I don't adhere to your religion or way of thinking, I matter too. If I am not sexual, I matter too. If I disagree with you or you disagree with me, I matter too. But this doesn't help you understand me. And whatever your colour or gender or religious thoughts or orientation or opinions, you matter too.

I feel strongly that you and I are best served to meet simply as humans. It is natural that the next question you ask after meeing someone new, will result in a label. What do you do for a living? Where are you from? I get that we relate when we find commonality. But why can't it be that we relate over our concerns for our children, or the state of the world, or how we can respect each other and live at peace with each other. If we each did something positive for each other, we could take care of each other so easily.

Assassins lose count of their kills, if the spy novels are to be believed. Others lose count of how many people they have sex with. I have lost count of the number of people I have met dead, or dying, but every single one was a grief. Most people have no idea at how incredibly fragile our human body is. One stab to the flank. One high velocity car crash. One gunshot to the head. One cross walk ignored. One bike lane veered into. One irregular beat of the heart, and it's over. Human life is what we must protect. At all costs. It is precious, and precarious. We only get one opportunity. For all people, whatever label.

So if your label is on the wrong side of history, fight for equality. But don't take more from the other side, because that has never worked. Bring the pendulum back to the middle, but don't try and push it, to steal from the other side, or you just become a taker of equality from someone else.

My life, as privileged as it is to be living at this time in this beautiful free country, is never going to be equal to all. But that cannot be my focus, or I will take from someone else what is equality to them. I encourage you to see others as your equal, as human, with incredible potential, and a very brief lifespan. Be vigilant to the human fragility and wonder, and protect each other to your dying day.

FRIED TOFU IN DIPPING SAUCE

Tiny miscalculation in not having an egg. Cornstarch and bread crumbs are not quite enough! But it was a great lunch , and leftovers were plentiful since I was eating on my own. Check out the recipe at Season With Spice.
It was a Pinterest fail on appearance, but very decent taste. I was expecting a sweeter lighter sauce, which I love at Kanda, so I would maybe lighten up on the soy, and consider more sugar depending on taste. I used chili garlic paste instead of fresh garlic and chili pepper. Travelled well to work the next day. Used one pound of firm tofu, and found it a bit much for one person. Isn't it always better to share?

CHEESE FONDUE FOR TWO

Carrot pumpkins and baguette

HOW (NOT) TO REPLACE A TOILET SEAT

My toilet seat was old and gross, and I couldn't remember why it hadn't been replaced before. I even had bought the new "whisper close" seat. So I set out to take it off but it was rusted and not easy.

With a crowbar and hammer (yes, I really did use a hammer on a screw!), I managed to take off the old seat! Thanks to youtube, I was advised to pour H2O2 (hydrogen peroxide) on the rust, and hammer until it loosened. I was worried that I might find the porcelain more fragile than the rust, but the plastic gave way before either.

Wire cutters and visegrips were required! The rusted washer gave way!

Sadly, porcelain did lose out, but at least it wasn't the toilet!

Ta da!

BLACK FOREST BETTY

Canned cherries on the bottom, chocolate cake mix on the top. A little dry, but easy and tasty.