AYN RAND ON LOVE

I didn't really know or like Ayn Rand, but I was aware of her and may or may not have read her second book Atlas Shrugged, her magnum opus if I understand correctly. I definitely read part of it but didn't get what it all the hype about it was. Then again, maybe I should give it another go.

This year, I happened upon a movie with her name in the title, and was surprised to know that she had  developed her own following for a brand of philosophy called Objectivism. The film was made for 1999 tv and features Eric Stoltz, Julie Delpy, Peter Fonda, and Don McKellar.

I learned that her name did not resemble Ann or Ain, but was pronounced like a hard "i" followed by an "n"; like "ion" without the "o" in the middle. I learned that she was self named, being born Alisa Rosenbaum in Russian.

The premise is that every human must find their own virtues, and reject doing things for others. By living with self-love and self-esteem, we become worthy of our own love, and do things for ourselves, but in doing so, can be loved for these virtues and pursuits. She clearly rejects altruism as being selfless, but also does not agree with immoral egos unchecked. This may be the seed of individualism today, but, as most of us with philosophies, the movie is interesting in large part because of the contrast between her ideals and how she actually may have lived her life.

Of course, like most rationalists, she was an atheist, but practically created her own religion.

One of the last quotes she gave (in Helen Mirren's voice) was at a conference in Los Angeles in 1981, one year before her death, in response the question of what is the nature of love.

"Love is a command to rise to one’s highest potential, the best and noblest vision of ourselves. Love is a reward, the greatest we can earn, granted to us for the moral qualities we have achieved in our lives."

I like the romantic idea of the first line. It inspires me. But the second part breaks down on me. I would love no one, and no one would love me, if if was based on the "moral qualities we have achieved  in our lives". I know I have loved when the other did not deserve, and continue to love  many with no doubts that no matter what they do, I would love them anyway. Maybe, though, they have shown their virtues for so long and unerringly, that I disbelieve them to be capable of hypocrisy.

But there are others that I do not love. They are distastful to me. I find myself avoiding them, because I am a truth teller, and if I told them each time we met how little I trust or value or believe in them, it would only cause pain for no good. So how to end things with someone who is so hypocritical? A blow out with ultimate truth in the absence of grace, or a passive death and avoidance. Neither seem good options. But in this, I agree with Ayn, I must follow my principles and not lie. I cannot be with them as I do not trust them. I want to tell them of their hypocrisy, but they will not believe it. I know what things they say about me because I have heard them say them about others. I cannot abide the idea of friendship where there is no kinship. But how to be kind. This, objectivism, does not seem to answer.