I HAVE VERY SMART FRIENDS WHO JUST HAPPEN TO BE TEACHERS

One of my favourite quotes is from a teacher friend of mine. She says what I often hear in my head in the midst of a conversation, but dare not say:
"Just because you disagree with me, doesn't mean I'm wrong!"

Scrolling through pictures of the last visit with another teacher friend from over five years ago:



Great minds think alike!

PRINCE PHILIP'S SPEECH ON MARRIAGE

While watching The Crown with the girls, I was touched by the observations in an anniversary speech given by Prince Philip. I think his insight about ourselves and others is bang on. We will never be able to see ourselves as fully as others may observe. But how lovely is that, in knowing his wife, Queen Elizabeth, that he sees the whole of her and has the grace to praise her treasure. Here is the script:

“Ten years has taught me, the secret of a successful marriage is actually to have different interests.
Well, different interests, not entirely different interests. It’s a funny business.

One sees the whole of the other person. You see even that part of them that they don’t see themselves.
And presumably, they see that hidden part of you.
One ends up knowing more about one’s partner than they know about themselves.
And it can be pretty tough to keep quiet about it.
So you have to come to an accommodation, an arrangement, a deal if you like.
To take the rough with the smooth.
But the extraordinary thing is down there in the rough, in the long reeds of difficulty and pain,
that is where you find the treasure. 

So I would like to propose a toast in the name of love, in the name of our beloved country, in the name of steadfastness, in the name of another ten marvelous years.
I give you mon petit chou, Lilibet, Elizabeth, The Queen.”

REFRESHING PERSPECTIVE ON GETTING OLD

An elderly lady was asked by a child if she were young or old. "My dear," she replied, "I have been young a very long time."

credit to the compilation  P.S. I Love You by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

SUFFRAGETTE CALL TO ARMS

"Better a rebel than a slave."

Mrs. Bancroft

MADAME SECRETARY SEASON 4 EPISODE 20

"You can't make a drawing without shadows; at least not a good one."

Mr. Shin, press

PHILEAS FOGG WAS A CURIOUS MAN

"Phileas Fogg était de ces gens mathématiquement exacts, qui, jamais pressés et toujours prêts, sont économes de leurs pas et de leurs mouvements. Il ne faisait pas une enjambée de trop, allant toujours par le plus court. Il ne perdait pas un regard au plafond. Il ne se permettait aucun geste superflu. On ne l'avait jamais vu ému ni troublé. C'était l'homme le moins hâté du monde, mais il arrivait toujours à temps.

Toutefois, on comprendra qu'il vécût seul et pour ainsi dire en dehors de toute relation sociale. Il savait que dans la vie il faut faire la part des frottements, et comme les frottements retardent, il ne se frottait à personne."

Chapitre 2 où Passepartout est convaincu qu'il a enfin trouve son ideal
Le Tour de Monde en Quatre-Vingt Jours
Jules Verne

"He [Phileas Fogg] was so exact that he was never in a hurry, was always ready, and was economical alike of his steps and his motions. He never took one step too many, and always went to his destination by the shortest cut; he made no superfluous gestures, and was never seen to be moved or agitated. He was the most deliberate person in the world, yet always reached his destination at the exact moment.

He lived alone, and, so to speak, outside of every social relation; and as he knew that in this world account must be taken of friction, and that friction retards, he never rubbed against anybody."

Chapter 2 In which Passepartout is convinced that he has at last found his ideal
Around the World in Eighty Days
Jules Verne
Sterling Publishing

YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE

Most of us spend our lives as if we had another one in the bank.
--Ben Irwin

Response:
Don't spend your life acting as if you have another one.

Caveat:
You only have one planet. Don't use it as if you have another one.

MONSTERS

I don't love monsters. I hate gore. I despise Halloween and zombies. I miss the simpler Halloween of my youth, full of candy and ghosts, but  now Halloween is so full of characters of the graphic horror films and walking dead that I literally feel ill  about how the macabre is celebrated. So I was surprised how much I liked Guillermo del Toro's point of view of a life dedicated to creating monsters. He was being honored for his movie The Shape of Water, and he convinced me to love his monster. I do like making silly monsters like Monsters Inc. in colour and string.

As he received his first Golden Globe, for 25 year of creative work, and fending off the music with the most charm imaginable, he said,

" Monsters [] are the patron saints of our blissful imperfection and they allow and embody the possibility of failure and life."

Maybe it's time to be a little more accepting of the bizarre and the strange. But I think the gore is enough in real life. I don't need any more than that, and continue to work towards minimizing that.

AYN RAND ON LOVE

I didn't really know or like Ayn Rand, but I was aware of her and may or may not have read her second book Atlas Shrugged, her magnum opus if I understand correctly. I definitely read part of it but didn't get what it all the hype about it was. Then again, maybe I should give it another go.

This year, I happened upon a movie with her name in the title, and was surprised to know that she had  developed her own following for a brand of philosophy called Objectivism. The film was made for 1999 tv and features Eric Stoltz, Julie Delpy, Peter Fonda, and Don McKellar.

I learned that her name did not resemble Ann or Ain, but was pronounced like a hard "i" followed by an "n"; like "ion" without the "o" in the middle. I learned that she was self named, being born Alisa Rosenbaum in Russian.

The premise is that every human must find their own virtues, and reject doing things for others. By living with self-love and self-esteem, we become worthy of our own love, and do things for ourselves, but in doing so, can be loved for these virtues and pursuits. She clearly rejects altruism as being selfless, but also does not agree with immoral egos unchecked. This may be the seed of individualism today, but, as most of us with philosophies, the movie is interesting in large part because of the contrast between her ideals and how she actually may have lived her life.

Of course, like most rationalists, she was an atheist, but practically created her own religion.

One of the last quotes she gave (in Helen Mirren's voice) was at a conference in Los Angeles in 1981, one year before her death, in response the question of what is the nature of love.

"Love is a command to rise to one’s highest potential, the best and noblest vision of ourselves. Love is a reward, the greatest we can earn, granted to us for the moral qualities we have achieved in our lives."

I like the romantic idea of the first line. It inspires me. But the second part breaks down on me. I would love no one, and no one would love me, if if was based on the "moral qualities we have achieved  in our lives". I know I have loved when the other did not deserve, and continue to love  many with no doubts that no matter what they do, I would love them anyway. Maybe, though, they have shown their virtues for so long and unerringly, that I disbelieve them to be capable of hypocrisy.

But there are others that I do not love. They are distastful to me. I find myself avoiding them, because I am a truth teller, and if I told them each time we met how little I trust or value or believe in them, it would only cause pain for no good. So how to end things with someone who is so hypocritical? A blow out with ultimate truth in the absence of grace, or a passive death and avoidance. Neither seem good options. But in this, I agree with Ayn, I must follow my principles and not lie. I cannot be with them as I do not trust them. I want to tell them of their hypocrisy, but they will not believe it. I know what things they say about me because I have heard them say them about others. I cannot abide the idea of friendship where there is no kinship. But how to be kind. This, objectivism, does not seem to answer.

JOSEPH CAMPBELL QUOTE

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

MARK'S AD NAUSEUM

I want to let you in to a little secret.
What we do defines who we are.
It's not where we're from or what we said.
It's the commitments we make,
the promises we keep,
the sweat we pour.
We are the well worn.
This is who we are.

MISTAKES TO MAKE

A friend and I have different points of view on failure (échec en Français), but in discussing our perspectives on a recent trail run, I had a lot to think about. Most of what I took away is that it is clear that I am motivated by past failures, and that my language doesn't reflect as much of my successes (reussites en Français) as is maybe fair.

Here are the summaries of our points of view:

ME: "Hi! I've been thinking about my vocabulary and I realize that I value humility so much that talking about failure is how I explain my successes, but I literally never say the word success. Thanks for sensitizing me to how I sound. If I don't say success, than I shouldn't talk so much about failure! But also know that is my story starts with how I am failing, it's just the beginning of the story! I might actually be admitting a success, lol! 😃"

FRIEND: "I was also thinking about how I don't use the word failure, neither success 🤔But I never associate either [sic:both] with or without humility? 🐣

I thought that those thoughts (failure or success) were an observation of our self for what we are in our own route but with no comparaison with others...and that when you compare yourself with others, [this] is when the ego take place and then the humility would take place (or not)
The other day you taught [sic:made me learned] a new perspective on the terms and appreciate it more in what they could potentially mean depending in which context and who's using it!"

So, to soften the word, and play to the fairest middle, I will talk less about failure, but keep striving to learn from my mistakes, and celebrating my successes!