Showing posts with label HOME. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HOME. Show all posts

Monday, May 16, 2022

HANNAH ARENDT

Hannah Arendt: German Jewish Philosopher

The Human Condition
Between Past and Future
On Revolution
Men in Dark Times
Crises of the Republic
The Life of the Mind

I found this DVD at the library about a woman I had never heard of named Hannah Arendt. I grew up with a family named Arendt, but we pronounced it like one word “aren’t” . It seems the original is two syllables, like A-rend(t). 

She was an academic tenured professor and wrote about a lot of ideas, but the movie’s story was about her most controversial work called Eichmann in Jerusalem. It had the usual effect on my historical knowledge. It expanded it in a highly relatable format that I love (movie investments are short and sweet, if the writing or the acting or the cinematography is good, and great if it all comes together!) 

Like too many religious critics, her work was often reduced to controversy by word of mouth and reactions based on superficial knowledge instead of actually reading the book! Even the revised audiobook I obtained had a long preamble trying to tell me what I should think about it. It gave context that I better understood than most starting the book, because I had watched the film. Still, it bothered me so I skipped ahead to make up my own mind.

The movie director features actual footage of Eichmann on trial, which is brilliant, and manages, like many European and occasionally Quebec films, to flip back and forth between German, English, and Hebrew casually, spanning her life and languages.

I can’t say yet if the script does justice to her words, and I suspect she has a lifetime of other thoughts that I do not have knowledge of that the screenwriter, as a university professor, most likely does. I do, however, like the way she thinks, making up her own mind, no matter how the cards are laid on the table.

From what I gather, the trial, set in Israel, and made possible with Mossad agents and President Ben Gurion’s involvement skewed the public from the get-go. I have very little knowledge of international law and how it works for crimes against humanity, but (spoiler alert) Eichmann is hanged in short order. 

So far, Hannah Arendt, of the film, is not sure this is the right outcome, which to me is a brave position for a Jewish woman who was interred in France for over a year during the war to have.

Afterwards, I found that McGill library lends the audiobook, and I did errands lost in the first three chapters of her book. I have lots more to learn.

What she clarified for me was the definition of totalitarianism. I don’t think I really understood what it meant before. She defines it as being separate from “despotism, tyranny, and dictatorship”, all more easily understood concepts. This is how she made the much necessary distinction: that totalitarianism “applied terror to subjugate mass populations, not just political adversaries”. 

She is quoted as saying “Niemand hat das Recht zu gehorchen” [No one has the right to obey]. She is credited (although may have later regretted) coining the phrase “banality of evil”, which is in the subtitle of the book on Eichmann’s trial. It was really an astute observation that given the right bureaucratic pressures, we could all be capable of systemic evil. Replace evil with racism or sexism, and it’s a little easier to see.

There is a lecture she gives that I will quote here (subtitled movie English may not be the perfect translation, but with my rudimentary German skills, it seemed to track well):

“Western tradition wrongly assumes that the greatest evils of mankind arise from selfishness. But in our century, evil has proven to be more radical than was previously thought. And now we know that the truest evil, the radical evil, has nothing to do with selfishness or any such understandable sinful motives. Instead, it is based on the following phenomenon; making human beings superfluous as human beings.”

She was talking about the concentration camp system, designed to  convince the prisoners that they were unnecessary before they were murdered. Work doesn’t free you. (ARBEIT MACHT FREI). No matter what you do in that system, it doesn’t matter. The system of the concentration camp teaches you that everything you do is senseless.

In this way, “absolute evil is when it exists, whether humans are in the system, or not”. I would argue (especially in light of the Ukrainian Russian war currently) that all humans are harmed by this evil. Yes, those in it who are not the victims have it better, but they too pay a price to the evil inherent in such systems of systemic racism and dehumanization. For me, the problem I cannot wrap my head around is; how then do you dismantle such a system without too much cost to the humans already serving as cogs in the wheel?

Arendt criticized the cooperation of the Jewish leaders as well as the failure to resist. I imagine my own life at that moment would feel incredibly valuable at the train station before you board the train, even though that would be the best place to revolt, before you are herded towards the gas chamber, or worse. I am not as sure as she was that this obviously the right choice. It must be incredibly hard to risk you life now when everything is screaming  for the need to survive until later. 

What are the options between resistance (which survival instinct may make impossible) and cooperation? 

Another problem I have is that this feels familiar. With no intention to diminish the concentration camp system level of evil, it feels like so many systems in which we humans play the cogs is rigged in such a way that evil exists. It is hard to see how to change it from within. The temptation is to revolt and dismantle, but no one can do that alone. 

So what is my personal responsibility? Eichman is criticized and condemned to death for upholding the rules of a system that ultimately lead to harm for others. How do you know if you are are doing your job for an evil end? If your terrorist cell just gets the victims to the murderers, and you don’t know the murderers, are you responsible? If you follow orders, and are disconnected to the next chain of events, should you blame yourself?

My thoughts are always to the mid-COVID pandemic health care system around me, and how do I find a way to change things that fail our patients. Patients and health care workers seems to be experiencing record high amounts of moral and personal distress in a system that seem, like Eichmann’s work, leads to inherent evils by making it so difficult to do the best by the patient because it is often at cross purposes with the efficiency of the system. 

It is so easy to “just do your job” and go home so overwhelmed and exhausted that you just want not to think about it. But years later, even if it was the job that never allowed time to consider, discuss, evaluate and criticize what the outcome was, aren’t you still to blame?

Those of us who try at every interaction to keep it human can succeed for a beautiful moment. It seems clear to me, however, that these acts of humanity are like cogs, being worn down and crushed again and again under the wheel, which feels no cost to our use and wear. We have to see this, and figure out how to change the way the wheel works. We can’t accept the consumption of our humanity and energy as the price to pay for the system to work. It is clear that right now, don’t win as a rule, then, but as an exception. We need to find a way to change the system so that it spares the cogs and the wheels turn without crushing those in the very system they were designed to serve.

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

THIS IS HOW MY GARDEN GROWS: August



It's a bit unruly, and will need some rearranging when the weather is cooler and, hopefully, wetter, but the front bed is filling in from the street renovation work last year. 


I was worried that it was a waste of time to plant the garden as late as I did, but the basil, spinach and lettuce are a constant joy, and the peas are blooming so we will have a harvest soon. If the beans and cucumbers don't come to pass before the end of the growing season, I will do better next year. Today, I ate the first peas, and yesterday Princess Pirate said the peas reminded her of Grandma and Grandpa's garden, so that alone was worth the effort.

 

Friday, July 23, 2021

THIS IS HOW MY GARDEN GROWS

I had a late start to the garden, but I had already built the rectangle a previous year. I had calculated a new spot that was not so dry as the most exposed south side where things didn't grow so well, even though it was conveniently located next to the water source. It had at least 6 hours of light a day in the summertime, and I had my grade niner calculate the volume to fill it, and bought 17 bags of garden soil on sale for $1.50 each. I don't love to buy dirt wrapped in plastic, but it was number 4 recyclable, so I washed them out and put them in the blue bin, and hopefully won't have to refill it anytime soon. 

I bought $35 dollars worth of seeds, and only used a quarter of them! I guess my eyes were bigger than the size of my garden. 

I had some bamboo stakes, and planted cucumber and beans below. Very early on, there was an excellent rain, and all the peas floated to the top, as you can see if you look carefully in two rows below.


Given the number of squirrels, groundhogs and rabbits in the yard, I made a feeble attempt with a mesh I had used before to keep out as many creatures as I can. My daughter noted these little white jumpers, and associated them with a good start to the soil.

 

Friday, April 2, 2021

MASON CONTACT

 



PRECISION CHIMNEY

Unfortunately disorganized, took a bunch of pictures, never came up with a quote.

Saturday, October 6, 2018

A HOME

Rummaging through a box of old papers, I found a single lined looseleaf paper with this list. Some are simple. Others are lofty. Not too hard to put together, except maybe the ten foot ceilings, and a piano. I have proved for over 2 decades that I can live without either and still feel at home!😂

This was the exact order:

-couch
-garbage and kleenex in every room
-bathroom deodorizer
-bubble bath, specialty coffee or hot chocolate or russian tea
-alarm clock with snooze
-bedside lamp
-fulllength mirror
-10 foot ceilings if possible
-fireplace
"library" (bookshelves)
-piano
-slippers, blankets and pillows
-plush rugs in the bathroom (bedroom, living room)
-books

Monday, August 27, 2018

MY GIRL STARTING "HIGH SCHOOL"

Wednesday morning, my princess pirate starts grade seven at a local high school. It's hard to believe, but it's been a while that this girl has been moving slowly towards teenagehood. That being said, this last week of summer has been a great reminder of how great she has been at childhood.

It's a fine line with an only child, not to treat them like the oldest child, and expect too much from them, nor to treat them like the last child, and be too easy on them. Sometimes I see that she has been spoiled, without the expectations that she should take care of everything shared, but have no others to share the responsibility with. This was intentional. As the oldest girl in my family, I was expected to help the most and take care of more than myself. But I was also told not to be so serious, as though I hadn't been trained to obedience and selfnessness that led me there. So letting my daughter not have all her responsibilities was intentional. Sometimes though, she reminds me too much of her dad, taking more than her share, and not being grateful, but instead feeling entitled. So I have to remind her of how her perspective is skewed, and how lucky she really is. And for the most part, she does see it.

So two days away from the start of school, after sitting attentively through the introduction session, and reading the agenda details, what do I find her doing when I get up, or finish the dishes, or call her for supper?

Making mud pies and birds nests from twigs and leaves and mud.
Playing in The Hundred Acre Woods with Pooh and Piglet, Tigger and Rabbit.
Feeding dolls and reading to them.
Sorting through books from her childhood, reading and organizing and weeding her bookshelf.
Swimming like a frog, dolphin, mermaid.
Planning cakes and cookies for an easybake oven.
Running through the sprinkler.

I don't know how she is going to react to high school, but I hope she finds windows to stay the beautiful child that she is. I hope her teachers allow her to use her imagination. I hope that she can apply her creativity to the tasks at hand, and put her enthusiasm into the projects that are assigned.

I have no doubt, though, that we will continue to need to protect her free time, so that she can sing and play as well as study and work. I look forward to this next adventure!

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

DUST BUNNIES UNDER MY BED

I guess it's been a while!

INSECT PATTERNS ON OLD WOOD

SOMETIMES I LIKE BEING MY OWN SUPER

I was cleaning the bathtub this afternoon, using the draining water from my bath to get it ready for Princess Pirate, but by the time I was half done, I realized the water wasn't draining. This was certainly not the first time, but usually it happens a little more gradually, and I have a chance to use baking soda and vinegar.

I grabbed the plunger, blocked the overflow outlet, and got a disturbing amount of debris, but the water didn't drain.

It's been a while, and, although I do love my plumber, I didn't need the expense, and Princess Pirate needed a bath, so I got out the snake and used my surgical blind skills, managing to get the length of the snake in. When it came out, the tub started to drain again, much to my satisfaction.

Many times in life, it is the simple pleasures that are the greatest.


Sunday, May 13, 2018

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

My neighbour isn't from Holland. Can you guess where he is from?

Monday, March 26, 2018

SKYGAZING AND LAST SNOW

Skygazer
What she sees (Can you see the crescent moon right there in the center?)


I don't know how much snow is left but what is left has sure been fun. A lot of Princess Pirate's classmates have stopped wearing snow pants, but not her, and for good reason. Here we are walking through the park. She throws herself on the ground constantly where there is snow, but this was an unusual pose, causing me (who also is still wearing snow pants in -4 weather so that I can keep up but not go home soaking wet) to lay down and see the view. I find myself more often injured though, wearing snow pants in the last of the season's snow. What with icy hills and rolling snowmen, I have bruises all over my knees!

A blizzard of snow people 

This last photo makes me feel such joy! Instead of a snow angel, she made a snow alien, but I think it just looks like the happiest imprint around! Happy spring everybody! But enjoy every last scrap of snow because we will miss it!

Snow Alien

Monday, January 29, 2018

Thursday, January 18, 2018

UPDATING LIGHT SWITCHES

The tactile pleasure of my other lightswitches motivated the change, but the esthetics were overdue to be changed.
The original by Stumpy. Here's where you turn off the appropriate breaker, if you haven't already.
Unscrewed


Stiff wires that I didn't touch. Clearly more wires than the switch would require, but I didn't want to jump down with that rabbit hole!


Confirmation that no power is linked before unscrewing the electric wires


These wires were stiff, so I needed needle nose pliers to unhook them from the screw post


The update. Visually and tactilely esthetically pleasing, and an easy project.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

CHRISTMAS ADVENT SEASON 2017

Add caption
Playmobil advent calendar with animals and snowman 
Smartie advent and old fashioned countdowns, a marvelously designed card and a nativity scene 
Stewart Hall Snowman art from yesteryear
Foamed chocolate melt with handmade marshmallow rounds
I don't have a hearth, but the top of my kitchen cupboards worked well for the same purpose.
While I did elf on the shelf, a growing crew of  friends hid for me daily too!
Channeling German/Austrian Christmas with marzipan stollen, pfeffernusse and Mozart Kugeln
Christmas cheer
Our favorite gift
Stars, snowmen and goodies
Christmas breakfast before work
Snacks
The burgeoning advent table
Homely decor
Twinkle lights are magic in the darkest part of the year.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

RENOVATIONS LOST AND BREATHING GRACE

The hardest thing about dividing patrimony wasn't losing all of the investment growth in the house and paying him out, surprisingly, (which was pretty bad, and the loan weighs heavy) because at least I kept the house for me and my daughter, but it was the renovation budget that got lost that I miss the most.

When we (it's funny I say we. I had the downpayment. I paid the weekly mortgage amounts. We signed a document together, so people think I should say we) bought the house, the owner wasn't honest, and when it flooded, the insurance didn't cover it. We (he did get a lump sum in when his great aunt died and gave him an inheritance) paid off the house, but any renovation savings went to french drains and sump pumps and shingles and furnaces, so that, finally, after more than a decade, we were still in the planning stages of the fun stuff, including the bathroom and kitchen, so that when we split, there was finally enough to do the bathroom and much needed kitchen updates, like floors and countertops.

Turns out I should have spent the money. If I owed something, I could have had the money to pay it off. It is so messed up that my responsibility has cost me me so much yet again. And this hurts. I won't have savings for many more years, and already the waiting is driving me crazy, because it has already been so long.

So when I visited a friend, I was surprised that she didn't seem to be driven to replace her dated bathroom tiles and fixtures or update the basement. At first I think I actually felt sorry for her. Because I felt sorry for myself, and my equally dated, arguably less kept up house. Maybe her finances had been too tight. Maybe her and husband weren't handy or had enough designer flare. But after staying with her for a few days, I saw her priorities. She had nice things. She had taken nice trips. She was on a budget clearly, but she spent her money on people and hospitality. She saw her kids and exercised her body before she spent money on her house. She had enough in the fridge for hosting crowds every week. She didn't care that the bed had no matching headboard, just that is was comfortable and available for a friend seeking shelter. Why did I care so much? I had lived for years in rentals that were much more rundown.

I was being Martha and she was Mary. I would love my ceramic from the 50s to be replaced. The tub with patches of ceramic broken and scratched to be changed.  The toilet that only flushes if you hold it down a really long time. The stick down square vinyl tiles in my kitchen to all match. The oak floors that needed redoing when we moved in 13 years ago still need redoing. I have no budget to do any of it, and it bothers me with the injustice of this. It seems doable and frustrating at not doing it still. I am bitter and complaining like Martha did to Jesus. And there are moments when I totally agree with Martha and think Jesus unfair to her. But in this, I see my friend's house, and then I see mine, and I try and see this not as renovations lost, but of priorities regained.

I have a roof over my head and a solid floor. My sump pump keeps my basement dry and my furnace keeps my daughter and I warm. I repainted the front room trim and radiator to welcome friends to a cleaner look. I vacuum the cat hair and wash the windowsills and decorate for Christmas, and my daughter notices and my friends visit and enjoy, and I think, ah, Mary, so this is what you see. Love doesn't  have to look good in a magazine. It is not a perfect picture. It is a cared for place, with space to craft and eat and break bread together. It is a couch to cuddle on, and a purring kitty in your lap, and a friend who brings birthday cake. It is a place bigger than I need with a purpose I want to share with more. But for now, and how it is, it is enough.

Thank you, dear friend, for the lessons I learn from  you, your life, your house, your amazing grace,  purest love and generous hospitality!

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

IF YOU OWN A HOME, YOU CAN GIVE UP YOUR GYM MEMBERSHIP!

I have a colleague that calls himself a gym rat. He likes to go everyday.

In contrast, I own a house. I get core training raking leaves, hauling the garbage, recycling and compost bins out. My arms get a workout shaking out the carpet, mowing the lawn, and mopping the floors. I can get 10,000 steps in and around my house.

Good thing, since with house payments, taxes, and maintenance, I can't afford a gym membership!

So if you don't have a house, enroll in a gym. But if you have a house, be glad that it gives you an excuse to exercise. It's good for you!

Friday, October 20, 2017

HOW (NOT) TO REPLACE A TOILET SEAT

My toilet seat was old and gross, and I couldn't remember why it hadn't been replaced before. I even had bought the new "whisper close" seat. So I set out to take it off but it was rusted and not easy.

With a crowbar and hammer (yes, I really did use a hammer on a screw!), I managed to take off the old seat! Thanks to youtube, I was advised to pour H2O2 (hydrogen peroxide) on the rust, and hammer until it loosened. I was worried that I might find the porcelain more fragile than the rust, but the plastic gave way before either.


Wire cutters and visegrips were required! The rusted washer gave way!


Sadly, porcelain did lose out, but at least it wasn't the toilet!

Ta da!



THE LAST FALL WITH MY MAPLE TREE


Saturday, October 7, 2017

HAPPINESS IS BEING CAUGHT UP ON LAUNDRY!

My sock drawer, a distant memory, but once upon a time, for a day, I was totally caught up on laundry. I'll try it again tomorrow!

Friday, September 15, 2017