Thursday, January 18, 2018
HOW WERE WE FRIENDS?
You work from home and regularly pretend that you work when you are shopping, eating, skiing. It is clear you are taking advantage of your employer and that you know this.
You don't listen.
You brag about the things I don't admire, but actively seek praise for the values they contradict. You are the very definition of a hypocrite.
Even when you can avoid controversy, and are explicitly asked to change the topic, you have to spew your racist filth.
You manipulate individuals for your own popularity, and post to facebook to document your achievements.
You delight in gossip and grow close to those who are greatest need, feeding on their weaknesses and milking their sorrow.
You never remember to return anything.
You criticize but cannot take criticism.
You think your dog and children are always right, but due to your ignorance, they are badly behaved and you are to blame for at least a part. You value your dog over your human companion.
You overspend and say you stop, but in the same conversation decide you cannot live without buying something else.
You always express regret in drinking the next day and then plan the next party where you repeat the excess.
You feel entitled and take advantage of privileges without thought of consequences.
You love to attend bible study and think of yourself as pious, but pursue your selfishness on every occasion, to the detriment of your husband, kids and friends.
You are so incredibly judgemental, and have so many times badmouthed your former friends that I know exactly what you are saying now, as I have distanced myself from you.
I was always cautious to tell you the truth, because I knew it would never be held private.
You spend too much.
You drink too much.
You swear too much.
You are selfish.
You are bigoted.
You are a bigmouth.
You think your way is the right way, and when given feedback, get defensive and learn nothing.
You take advantage of people too much.
You couldn't mourn your beloved dog for more than a day without getting another one. This is representative of how you treat anything. You are shallow and value image over real relationships.
You have no insight into your dog's bad behaviour, your children's or your own.
You can't reflect on your behaviour, and rationalize your drawbacks without any thought to the negative impact on those around you.
You have, somehow, great people as friends, and I liked being a part of it. But you are too much for me, and I cannot be the hypocrite now that I see the way things are. I hope you don't lose too much before you change. I hope you can be better, for your loved ones' sake.
ADDENDUM:
Why I am trying not to engage:
You don't listen.
You brag about the things I don't admire, but actively seek praise for the values they contradict. You are the very definition of a hypocrite.
Even when you can avoid controversy, and are explicitly asked to change the topic, you have to spew your racist filth.
You manipulate individuals for your own popularity, and post to facebook to document your achievements.
You delight in gossip and grow close to those who are greatest need, feeding on their weaknesses and milking their sorrow.
You never remember to return anything.
You criticize but cannot take criticism.
You think your dog and children are always right, but due to your ignorance, they are badly behaved and you are to blame for at least a part. You value your dog over your human companion.
You overspend and say you stop, but in the same conversation decide you cannot live without buying something else.
You always express regret in drinking the next day and then plan the next party where you repeat the excess.
You feel entitled and take advantage of privileges without thought of consequences.
You love to attend bible study and think of yourself as pious, but pursue your selfishness on every occasion, to the detriment of your husband, kids and friends.
You are so incredibly judgemental, and have so many times badmouthed your former friends that I know exactly what you are saying now, as I have distanced myself from you.
I was always cautious to tell you the truth, because I knew it would never be held private.
You spend too much.
You drink too much.
You swear too much.
You are selfish.
You are bigoted.
You are a bigmouth.
You think your way is the right way, and when given feedback, get defensive and learn nothing.
You take advantage of people too much.
You couldn't mourn your beloved dog for more than a day without getting another one. This is representative of how you treat anything. You are shallow and value image over real relationships.
You have no insight into your dog's bad behaviour, your children's or your own.
You can't reflect on your behaviour, and rationalize your drawbacks without any thought to the negative impact on those around you.
You have, somehow, great people as friends, and I liked being a part of it. But you are too much for me, and I cannot be the hypocrite now that I see the way things are. I hope you don't lose too much before you change. I hope you can be better, for your loved ones' sake.
ADDENDUM:
Why I am trying not to engage:
Her:
Awesome just got back.into downhill
U any good
Me:
Nah, just average, but I love it!
I am going to meet up with afriend I met snorkeling in FLORIDA. She goes to Idaho every year and loves it.
Her:
You met someone
A guy
Me:
(no response)
???!@#$%
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
AYN RAND ON LOVE
I didn't really know or like Ayn Rand, but I was aware of her and may or may not have read her second book Atlas Shrugged, her magnum opus if I understand correctly. I definitely read part of it but didn't get what it all the hype about it was. Then again, maybe I should give it another go.
This year, I happened upon a movie with her name in the title, and was surprised to know that she had developed her own following for a brand of philosophy called Objectivism. The film was made for 1999 tv and features Eric Stoltz, Julie Delpy, Peter Fonda, and Don McKellar.
I learned that her name did not resemble Ann or Ain, but was pronounced like a hard "i" followed by an "n"; like "ion" without the "o" in the middle. I learned that she was self named, being born Alisa Rosenbaum in Russian.
The premise is that every human must find their own virtues, and reject doing things for others. By living with self-love and self-esteem, we become worthy of our own love, and do things for ourselves, but in doing so, can be loved for these virtues and pursuits. She clearly rejects altruism as being selfless, but also does not agree with immoral egos unchecked. This may be the seed of individualism today, but, as most of us with philosophies, the movie is interesting in large part because of the contrast between her ideals and how she actually may have lived her life.
Of course, like most rationalists, she was an atheist, but practically created her own religion.
One of the last quotes she gave (in Helen Mirren's voice) was at a conference in Los Angeles in 1981, one year before her death, in response the question of what is the nature of love.
"Love is a command to rise to one’s highest potential, the best and noblest vision of ourselves. Love is a reward, the greatest we can earn, granted to us for the moral qualities we have achieved in our lives."
I like the romantic idea of the first line. It inspires me. But the second part breaks down on me. I would love no one, and no one would love me, if if was based on the "moral qualities we have achieved in our lives". I know I have loved when the other did not deserve, and continue to love many with no doubts that no matter what they do, I would love them anyway. Maybe, though, they have shown their virtues for so long and unerringly, that I disbelieve them to be capable of hypocrisy.
But there are others that I do not love. They are distastful to me. I find myself avoiding them, because I am a truth teller, and if I told them each time we met how little I trust or value or believe in them, it would only cause pain for no good. So how to end things with someone who is so hypocritical? A blow out with ultimate truth in the absence of grace, or a passive death and avoidance. Neither seem good options. But in this, I agree with Ayn, I must follow my principles and not lie. I cannot be with them as I do not trust them. I want to tell them of their hypocrisy, but they will not believe it. I know what things they say about me because I have heard them say them about others. I cannot abide the idea of friendship where there is no kinship. But how to be kind. This, objectivism, does not seem to answer.
This year, I happened upon a movie with her name in the title, and was surprised to know that she had developed her own following for a brand of philosophy called Objectivism. The film was made for 1999 tv and features Eric Stoltz, Julie Delpy, Peter Fonda, and Don McKellar.
I learned that her name did not resemble Ann or Ain, but was pronounced like a hard "i" followed by an "n"; like "ion" without the "o" in the middle. I learned that she was self named, being born Alisa Rosenbaum in Russian.
The premise is that every human must find their own virtues, and reject doing things for others. By living with self-love and self-esteem, we become worthy of our own love, and do things for ourselves, but in doing so, can be loved for these virtues and pursuits. She clearly rejects altruism as being selfless, but also does not agree with immoral egos unchecked. This may be the seed of individualism today, but, as most of us with philosophies, the movie is interesting in large part because of the contrast between her ideals and how she actually may have lived her life.
Of course, like most rationalists, she was an atheist, but practically created her own religion.
One of the last quotes she gave (in Helen Mirren's voice) was at a conference in Los Angeles in 1981, one year before her death, in response the question of what is the nature of love.
"Love is a command to rise to one’s highest potential, the best and noblest vision of ourselves. Love is a reward, the greatest we can earn, granted to us for the moral qualities we have achieved in our lives."
I like the romantic idea of the first line. It inspires me. But the second part breaks down on me. I would love no one, and no one would love me, if if was based on the "moral qualities we have achieved in our lives". I know I have loved when the other did not deserve, and continue to love many with no doubts that no matter what they do, I would love them anyway. Maybe, though, they have shown their virtues for so long and unerringly, that I disbelieve them to be capable of hypocrisy.
But there are others that I do not love. They are distastful to me. I find myself avoiding them, because I am a truth teller, and if I told them each time we met how little I trust or value or believe in them, it would only cause pain for no good. So how to end things with someone who is so hypocritical? A blow out with ultimate truth in the absence of grace, or a passive death and avoidance. Neither seem good options. But in this, I agree with Ayn, I must follow my principles and not lie. I cannot be with them as I do not trust them. I want to tell them of their hypocrisy, but they will not believe it. I know what things they say about me because I have heard them say them about others. I cannot abide the idea of friendship where there is no kinship. But how to be kind. This, objectivism, does not seem to answer.
Saturday, January 6, 2018
CHRISTMAS ADVENT SEASON 2017
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| Add caption |
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| Playmobil advent calendar with animals and snowman |
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| Smartie advent and old fashioned countdowns, a marvelously designed card and a nativity scene |
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| Stewart Hall Snowman art from yesteryear |
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| Foamed chocolate melt with handmade marshmallow rounds |
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| I don't have a hearth, but the top of my kitchen cupboards worked well for the same purpose. |
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| While I did elf on the shelf, a growing crew of friends hid for me daily too! |
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| Channeling German/Austrian Christmas with marzipan stollen, pfeffernusse and Mozart Kugeln |
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| Christmas cheer |
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| Our favorite gift |
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| Stars, snowmen and goodies |
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| Christmas breakfast before work |
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| Snacks |
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| The burgeoning advent table |
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| Homely decor |
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| Twinkle lights are magic in the darkest part of the year. |
Friday, January 5, 2018
CREATIVITY OF A GRADE SIXER
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| Cursive Name Symmetry |
This time was especially fun because she had come with me and could point out the nuances.
Here is, word for word, her explanation: "It's a stingray that turns into a swallow as it jumps out of the water and as the swallow keeps going up into the sky, it transforms into an alien."
The orange is coral in the ocean, the grey is the stingray, the black is the swallow, and the alien has wings like a dragonfly, blue eyes and multicoloured stripped ears.
The orange is coral in the ocean, the grey is the stingray, the black is the swallow, and the alien has wings like a dragonfly, blue eyes and multicoloured stripped ears.
It is lovely to have a private art tour by your imaginative kid. I wish I could do it more often, but I suspect that high school might have less art shows. I hope I'm wrong.
Thursday, January 4, 2018
RENOVATIONS LOST AND BREATHING GRACE
The hardest thing about dividing patrimony wasn't losing all of the investment growth in the house and paying him out, surprisingly, (which was pretty bad, and the loan weighs heavy) because at least I kept the house for me and my daughter, but it was the renovation budget that got lost that I miss the most.
When we (it's funny I say we. I had the downpayment. I paid the weekly mortgage amounts. We signed a document together, so people think I should say we) bought the house, the owner wasn't honest, and when it flooded, the insurance didn't cover it. We (he did get a lump sum in when his great aunt died and gave him an inheritance) paid off the house, but any renovation savings went to french drains and sump pumps and shingles and furnaces, so that, finally, after more than a decade, we were still in the planning stages of the fun stuff, including the bathroom and kitchen, so that when we split, there was finally enough to do the bathroom and much needed kitchen updates, like floors and countertops.
Turns out I should have spent the money. If I owed something, I could have had the money to pay it off. It is so messed up that my responsibility has cost me me so much yet again. And this hurts. I won't have savings for many more years, and already the waiting is driving me crazy, because it has already been so long.
So when I visited a friend, I was surprised that she didn't seem to be driven to replace her dated bathroom tiles and fixtures or update the basement. At first I think I actually felt sorry for her. Because I felt sorry for myself, and my equally dated, arguably less kept up house. Maybe her finances had been too tight. Maybe her and husband weren't handy or had enough designer flare. But after staying with her for a few days, I saw her priorities. She had nice things. She had taken nice trips. She was on a budget clearly, but she spent her money on people and hospitality. She saw her kids and exercised her body before she spent money on her house. She had enough in the fridge for hosting crowds every week. She didn't care that the bed had no matching headboard, just that is was comfortable and available for a friend seeking shelter. Why did I care so much? I had lived for years in rentals that were much more rundown.
I was being Martha and she was Mary. I would love my ceramic from the 50s to be replaced. The tub with patches of ceramic broken and scratched to be changed. The toilet that only flushes if you hold it down a really long time. The stick down square vinyl tiles in my kitchen to all match. The oak floors that needed redoing when we moved in 13 years ago still need redoing. I have no budget to do any of it, and it bothers me with the injustice of this. It seems doable and frustrating at not doing it still. I am bitter and complaining like Martha did to Jesus. And there are moments when I totally agree with Martha and think Jesus unfair to her. But in this, I see my friend's house, and then I see mine, and I try and see this not as renovations lost, but of priorities regained.
I have a roof over my head and a solid floor. My sump pump keeps my basement dry and my furnace keeps my daughter and I warm. I repainted the front room trim and radiator to welcome friends to a cleaner look. I vacuum the cat hair and wash the windowsills and decorate for Christmas, and my daughter notices and my friends visit and enjoy, and I think, ah, Mary, so this is what you see. Love doesn't have to look good in a magazine. It is not a perfect picture. It is a cared for place, with space to craft and eat and break bread together. It is a couch to cuddle on, and a purring kitty in your lap, and a friend who brings birthday cake. It is a place bigger than I need with a purpose I want to share with more. But for now, and how it is, it is enough.
Thank you, dear friend, for the lessons I learn from you, your life, your house, your amazing grace, purest love and generous hospitality!
When we (it's funny I say we. I had the downpayment. I paid the weekly mortgage amounts. We signed a document together, so people think I should say we) bought the house, the owner wasn't honest, and when it flooded, the insurance didn't cover it. We (he did get a lump sum in when his great aunt died and gave him an inheritance) paid off the house, but any renovation savings went to french drains and sump pumps and shingles and furnaces, so that, finally, after more than a decade, we were still in the planning stages of the fun stuff, including the bathroom and kitchen, so that when we split, there was finally enough to do the bathroom and much needed kitchen updates, like floors and countertops.
Turns out I should have spent the money. If I owed something, I could have had the money to pay it off. It is so messed up that my responsibility has cost me me so much yet again. And this hurts. I won't have savings for many more years, and already the waiting is driving me crazy, because it has already been so long.
So when I visited a friend, I was surprised that she didn't seem to be driven to replace her dated bathroom tiles and fixtures or update the basement. At first I think I actually felt sorry for her. Because I felt sorry for myself, and my equally dated, arguably less kept up house. Maybe her finances had been too tight. Maybe her and husband weren't handy or had enough designer flare. But after staying with her for a few days, I saw her priorities. She had nice things. She had taken nice trips. She was on a budget clearly, but she spent her money on people and hospitality. She saw her kids and exercised her body before she spent money on her house. She had enough in the fridge for hosting crowds every week. She didn't care that the bed had no matching headboard, just that is was comfortable and available for a friend seeking shelter. Why did I care so much? I had lived for years in rentals that were much more rundown.
I was being Martha and she was Mary. I would love my ceramic from the 50s to be replaced. The tub with patches of ceramic broken and scratched to be changed. The toilet that only flushes if you hold it down a really long time. The stick down square vinyl tiles in my kitchen to all match. The oak floors that needed redoing when we moved in 13 years ago still need redoing. I have no budget to do any of it, and it bothers me with the injustice of this. It seems doable and frustrating at not doing it still. I am bitter and complaining like Martha did to Jesus. And there are moments when I totally agree with Martha and think Jesus unfair to her. But in this, I see my friend's house, and then I see mine, and I try and see this not as renovations lost, but of priorities regained.
I have a roof over my head and a solid floor. My sump pump keeps my basement dry and my furnace keeps my daughter and I warm. I repainted the front room trim and radiator to welcome friends to a cleaner look. I vacuum the cat hair and wash the windowsills and decorate for Christmas, and my daughter notices and my friends visit and enjoy, and I think, ah, Mary, so this is what you see. Love doesn't have to look good in a magazine. It is not a perfect picture. It is a cared for place, with space to craft and eat and break bread together. It is a couch to cuddle on, and a purring kitty in your lap, and a friend who brings birthday cake. It is a place bigger than I need with a purpose I want to share with more. But for now, and how it is, it is enough.
Thank you, dear friend, for the lessons I learn from you, your life, your house, your amazing grace, purest love and generous hospitality!
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS AND DATA TO DATE
BODY
MIND
DO SOMETHING
1 snow shoed circles in the yard for 5 km, sometimes running
2 walked circles in the yard and pulled the sled around the streets to admire the super Wolf moon rising
3 cross country skied at The Cap
CLEAN SOMETHING
1 living room window sills
2 shower doors
3 dishes and laundry
FIND MONEY SOMEWHERE
1 deposit check
2
3 use points instead of money
BOOK SOMETHING
3 our next flight
COOK SOMETHING
1 lentil soup
2 french toast
3 egg noodles and wonton shells
1 snow shoed circles in the yard for 5 km, sometimes running
2 walked circles in the yard and pulled the sled around the streets to admire the super Wolf moon rising
3 cross country skied at The Cap
CLEAN SOMETHING
1 living room window sills
2 shower doors
3 dishes and laundry
FIND MONEY SOMEWHERE
1 deposit check
2
3 use points instead of money
BOOK SOMETHING
3 our next flight
COOK SOMETHING
1 lentil soup
2 french toast
3 egg noodles and wonton shells
MIND
LEARN SOMETHING
1 Bacterial Meningitis in adults: first Strep Pneumococcus second Neisseria meningitidis Incubation Period 2-10 days third H flu Incubation Period 2-4 days (all these have vaccines), then Listeria monocytogenes
2
3 Whales can't digest squid lips so they accumulate in their stomach
BLOG SOMETHING (WRITE)
need some time to catchup!
1 Bacterial Meningitis in adults: first Strep Pneumococcus second Neisseria meningitidis Incubation Period 2-10 days third H flu Incubation Period 2-4 days (all these have vaccines), then Listeria monocytogenes
2
3 Whales can't digest squid lips so they accumulate in their stomach
BLOG SOMETHING (WRITE)
need some time to catchup!
FIX SOMETHING
1
2 hang bookshelf doors
3
1
2 hang bookshelf doors
3
SOUL
TALK TO SOMEONE
1 Shaden
2 Karyn
3 Liz
REMEMBER/ HONOR SOMETHING
1 White Christmas and Bing Crosby/Rosemary Clooney magic
2 Bridge To Terabithia
3 Grandma's piano skills
1 Shaden
2 Karyn
3 Liz
REMEMBER/ HONOR SOMETHING
1 White Christmas and Bing Crosby/Rosemary Clooney magic
2 Bridge To Terabithia
3 Grandma's piano skills
Saturday, December 30, 2017
LES GRANDS BALLETS CAISSE-NOISSETTE WITH A LOGE AND A VIRUS
I love this ballet! I have been probably 8 times, and 4-5 times with my daughter. It hardly changes from year to year, which for a time disappointed me, but I enjoy now very much, as a tradition.
This year, a few additions were made possible. Firstly, the offer was for a loge, first row, was mentioned on renewing my subscription. Second, we went early for the "pre-show". I hadn't really known what it was, but it was a lively bilingual dramatization of the story of the ballet, with a lottery and one lucky winner got to be a mouse on stage in the first act! Lastly, my daughter had a cold, but she was pretty great and barely coughed. We were prepared though and had room for a pharmacy!
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| The curtain, romantic and familiar |
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| Tic tacs, tissue, hand gel and water |
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
First DECEMBER 25 Christmas Day, Christmas Dinner
Second DECEMBER 26 The Feast of Stephen, the first martyr, the first feast: leftovers to the poor. Modern Boxing Day.
Third DECEMBER 27 St John's Day (only apostle that was NOT a martyr)
Fourth DECEMBER 28 Feast of the Innocents, the second feast
Fifth DECEMBER 29
Sixth DECEMBER 30
Seventh DECEMBER 31St Silvester
Eighth JANUARY 1 Feast of the Circumcision of Christ, the third feast
Ninth JANUARY 2
Tenth JANUARY 3
Eleventh JANUARY 4
Twelfth JANUARY 5 End of Christmas, Shakespeare's famous night, time to take down your decorations
JANUARY 6 Epiphany
1 A partridge in a pear tree
2 Turtle doves
3 French hens
4 Calling Birds
5 Golden Rings
6 Geese a Laying
7 Swans a Swimming
8 Maids a Milking
9 Ladies Dancing
10 Lords a Leaping
11 Pipers Piping
12 Drummers Drumming
12 days with 12 wishes for the 12 months of the new year
Second DECEMBER 26 The Feast of Stephen, the first martyr, the first feast: leftovers to the poor. Modern Boxing Day.
Third DECEMBER 27 St John's Day (only apostle that was NOT a martyr)
Fourth DECEMBER 28 Feast of the Innocents, the second feast
Fifth DECEMBER 29
Sixth DECEMBER 30
Seventh DECEMBER 31St Silvester
Eighth JANUARY 1 Feast of the Circumcision of Christ, the third feast
Ninth JANUARY 2
Tenth JANUARY 3
Eleventh JANUARY 4
Twelfth JANUARY 5 End of Christmas, Shakespeare's famous night, time to take down your decorations
JANUARY 6 Epiphany
1 A partridge in a pear tree
2 Turtle doves
3 French hens
4 Calling Birds
5 Golden Rings
6 Geese a Laying
7 Swans a Swimming
8 Maids a Milking
9 Ladies Dancing
10 Lords a Leaping
11 Pipers Piping
12 Drummers Drumming
12 days with 12 wishes for the 12 months of the new year
Sunday, December 24, 2017
ELATION AND JUBILATION
We humans are a funny lot. When things are calm or good, we have time to complain. But give a guy a car crash, and a girl leaving work an unwanted detour, and the results can be surprising!
I was leaving work a little late, but with all my paper work completed. I had to make a detour to pick up my medical bag at another hospital and then I was on my way home. The trouble was that I had left the house in the middle of a snowstorm, and had managed to forget my charging phone at home. Had I taken the same route home, I wouldn't have had any difficulty, despite the detours, because I know them well. But I was coming from somewhere else, and without my phone, I was at the whim of my tired memory, and poor sense of direction. In a word, I was lost. But I was headed in the right direction, and wasn't finding any indication of blockades, so I kept winding through increasingly familiar streets until I was hopeful to be on my way to the highway when I saw a car parked in a snowbank. The driver was in the car, not indicating any need for help, but as I passed, it was clear this was not intentional. So I stopped and offered my help, and most importantly my shovel, which the driver was not in possession of. The car had the same system as mine to turn off traction control, which I had been reminded of earlier on my way in when I struggled up a hill on my way to work, so I turned it off, but with the wheels clear, there was no movement. I kept trying to shovel, with the gentleman taking it from me to do the bulk of the work, but it wouldn't budge. But by then another passerby stopped, and we kept shovelling under the car. It was perched on a hard pack of snow, and we were about to lose the third pair of hands to futility, when a fourth man passed by and offered to push. By then the snow was nearly carved out, and the three men on the front bumper pushed as I drove in reverse, and the car was free.
The man dropped the shovel and came at me with his arms wide open and lifted high up in the air. His face was elated and he gave me the biggest hug I have ever had from a stranger with kisses to each cheek until I wondered when it was polite to stop! It was a feeling of jubilation that could only happen in the context of unfortunate circumstances. His accident and my detour led to a triumph, albeit a small one.
So to the man who crashed his Acura tonight, Merry Christmas! Thanks for turning my detour into a triumph of the human spirit! Without your need, my shovel was not useful. Because of your need, my shovel was valuable. Because of our struggles, others came to help. We could not have done it alone, and we were not alone when we needed more help.
I have been reflecting a lot on the bigger ideals of life: resilience, charm, grace, generosity, humility, kindness, patience, loyalty, hope and faith. But it was a surprise to be reminded of other human emotions that I did not realize had value, even if it is not a daily occurence. My early morning encounter was a fleeting brush with joy and accomplishment. It was definitely worth the detour!
I was leaving work a little late, but with all my paper work completed. I had to make a detour to pick up my medical bag at another hospital and then I was on my way home. The trouble was that I had left the house in the middle of a snowstorm, and had managed to forget my charging phone at home. Had I taken the same route home, I wouldn't have had any difficulty, despite the detours, because I know them well. But I was coming from somewhere else, and without my phone, I was at the whim of my tired memory, and poor sense of direction. In a word, I was lost. But I was headed in the right direction, and wasn't finding any indication of blockades, so I kept winding through increasingly familiar streets until I was hopeful to be on my way to the highway when I saw a car parked in a snowbank. The driver was in the car, not indicating any need for help, but as I passed, it was clear this was not intentional. So I stopped and offered my help, and most importantly my shovel, which the driver was not in possession of. The car had the same system as mine to turn off traction control, which I had been reminded of earlier on my way in when I struggled up a hill on my way to work, so I turned it off, but with the wheels clear, there was no movement. I kept trying to shovel, with the gentleman taking it from me to do the bulk of the work, but it wouldn't budge. But by then another passerby stopped, and we kept shovelling under the car. It was perched on a hard pack of snow, and we were about to lose the third pair of hands to futility, when a fourth man passed by and offered to push. By then the snow was nearly carved out, and the three men on the front bumper pushed as I drove in reverse, and the car was free.
The man dropped the shovel and came at me with his arms wide open and lifted high up in the air. His face was elated and he gave me the biggest hug I have ever had from a stranger with kisses to each cheek until I wondered when it was polite to stop! It was a feeling of jubilation that could only happen in the context of unfortunate circumstances. His accident and my detour led to a triumph, albeit a small one.
So to the man who crashed his Acura tonight, Merry Christmas! Thanks for turning my detour into a triumph of the human spirit! Without your need, my shovel was not useful. Because of your need, my shovel was valuable. Because of our struggles, others came to help. We could not have done it alone, and we were not alone when we needed more help.
I have been reflecting a lot on the bigger ideals of life: resilience, charm, grace, generosity, humility, kindness, patience, loyalty, hope and faith. But it was a surprise to be reminded of other human emotions that I did not realize had value, even if it is not a daily occurence. My early morning encounter was a fleeting brush with joy and accomplishment. It was definitely worth the detour!
Thursday, December 7, 2017
AIN'T AIN'T A WORD
I'm not quite sure how it started, but my daughter has been singing silly songs all week, most of them with the refrain above! I think they must have read it in a book recently, but I have always found the word interesting when adults use it in normal language.
Today I heard a cook talking about her pumpkin cake, and she pronounced it "pun-kin". I love the total lack of self-awareness it takes not to hear it wrong. My daughter is almost finished "correcting" those endearing mistakes, but she still has a few. They are more sophisticated words now: specific comes out "pacific". She sometimes still insists something is "lit-er-al-ly" something, because it sounds like a great emphasizing word, but she applies it indiscriminately to objective and subjective ideas. A precursor to this was "actually". A little trying on vocabulary that will make her a better conversationalist, but adorable while it is a little off the mark.
When she was little, she called the cat litter "glitter", or, my favourite, "glitter box". She's totally corrected that error, and now I miss it. My life is the poorer for it, but in another sense, it was a phase bound to end.
It reminds me of a Harvard graduation speech I heard by Natalie Portman. I guess that was her alma mater after she was famous for Star Wars. She talks about finding her "meaning in the experience" instead of worry about trophies/prizes, which freed her to chose jobs she was passionate about, and pursue" meaningful experiences". But the most interesting idea was her impression from ballet. Once your technique is perfected, "your quirks or even flaws" are what set you apart. "You can never be the best, technically". That's not achievable. But she "encourages" us "to develop our own self", because that's what people will remember. Another idea she mentions dovetailed into my ongoing embrace of risk taking, mistakes and potential failure. She says, she was "so oblivious of her own limits that she did things she was woefully unprepared to do." Her "complete ignorance to" her "own limitations looked like confidence". She goes on to say, " Fear protects us in many ways". What has served her "is diving into my own obliviousness... Your inexperience is an asset, and will allow you to think in original and unconventional way(s). Accept your lack of knowledge and use it as your asset."
So while I used to think my high school beau should know what he is talking about when he tried to apply big words without the proper meaning or pronunciation, now I find the grace to see that he was, like a child, just brave enough to keep learning.
Today I heard a cook talking about her pumpkin cake, and she pronounced it "pun-kin". I love the total lack of self-awareness it takes not to hear it wrong. My daughter is almost finished "correcting" those endearing mistakes, but she still has a few. They are more sophisticated words now: specific comes out "pacific". She sometimes still insists something is "lit-er-al-ly" something, because it sounds like a great emphasizing word, but she applies it indiscriminately to objective and subjective ideas. A precursor to this was "actually". A little trying on vocabulary that will make her a better conversationalist, but adorable while it is a little off the mark.
When she was little, she called the cat litter "glitter", or, my favourite, "glitter box". She's totally corrected that error, and now I miss it. My life is the poorer for it, but in another sense, it was a phase bound to end.
It reminds me of a Harvard graduation speech I heard by Natalie Portman. I guess that was her alma mater after she was famous for Star Wars. She talks about finding her "meaning in the experience" instead of worry about trophies/prizes, which freed her to chose jobs she was passionate about, and pursue" meaningful experiences". But the most interesting idea was her impression from ballet. Once your technique is perfected, "your quirks or even flaws" are what set you apart. "You can never be the best, technically". That's not achievable. But she "encourages" us "to develop our own self", because that's what people will remember. Another idea she mentions dovetailed into my ongoing embrace of risk taking, mistakes and potential failure. She says, she was "so oblivious of her own limits that she did things she was woefully unprepared to do." Her "complete ignorance to" her "own limitations looked like confidence". She goes on to say, " Fear protects us in many ways". What has served her "is diving into my own obliviousness... Your inexperience is an asset, and will allow you to think in original and unconventional way(s). Accept your lack of knowledge and use it as your asset."
So while I used to think my high school beau should know what he is talking about when he tried to apply big words without the proper meaning or pronunciation, now I find the grace to see that he was, like a child, just brave enough to keep learning.
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
THE GIFT OF THE MAGI
This year I chose to work Christmas, and I didn't come off too badly. I work Christmas evening but not Christmas Day, and I thought that was very fair. After twenty years of working shifts, I have had my share of Christmases off while I was able to choose to work New Years. This year would be the third Christmas since my separation, and my daughter would be with her dad. I have had two years now to see how his side of the family would react, and I knew I would be spending it alone. We have an agreement though, for major holidays, that some part of it is spent with both parents, which usually works. It's usually really last minute though, and my shifts are always preplanned and his family is always last minute, so it's luck of the draw if it works out. I have learned to be flexible, and fortunately my sometimes quite inflexible daughter has been incredible in being flexible too.
This time, unlike last year, no family would be coming my way. This has nearly always been the case. I spent Christmas a lot of different ways over the years. I went home for a while, but it's hard to go home after a while when it never goes the other way. I worked quite a few. I spent one memorable Christmas with cousins in Ontario which ended abruptly when I found out with a desperate message on my answering machine that I was late for my shift and 6 hours away, somehow miscounting the days with families celebrating in different households over several dates!
The first year I was separated, I worked since I didn't have my daughter. She came over with her dad Christmas evening. I made supper and he read The Night Before Christmas. Christmas day, they got up, did stockings and opened gifts and then came over to my place. I thought they would wait for presents, but I didn't have many anyway for me, so it made no difference to my daughter. At the time, her dad didn't have a car, so I drove her and her dad to Christmas with her grandparents and then off to work. It was strange. For 13 years I had celebrated with this family. I had bought any gifts, or made any parts of the meal, or brought the wine. But then it was over. As if, after all that time, I was only ever tied to them through my husband. As if we had no other relationship.
The second year I was separated, I had Christmas off and I had my daughter, and my brother came, and it was wonderful. For the first time in 20 years since I moved to this province, I could make treats that he also would identify as nostalgic. He brought some old standbys too. We made snowmen and skied. It was the best and most genuine Christmas I had ever had in Montreal!
Again, and as expected it was weird with her dad. But despite it being a one way street, Christmas is not the time of exclusion, at least not for me. So I invited his family, who said an enthusiatic, sure! but they only stayed awkwardly on the couch for a few minutes for the sake of a dear aunt who hadn't been briefed on the exclusions they were invoking when they picked him up. They didn't stay after all. My daughter's dad was invited, but he also didn't stay for the meal he was invited to, and also didn't say so until he abruptly got picked up before we started the meal. He set up the stockings at his house before Christmas and explained Santa wasn't real, and exchanged gifts before Christmas, as if to lessen what I had to offer. But these things have to be let go, so that my daughter can celebrate, wherever she goes.
This year, I found a used copy of O. Henry's book of short stories, and for the first time I read my favorite Christmas story to my daughter, The Gift of the Magi. I tried not to embarrass myself with tears, but it is just so moving! These kinds of sacrifices are not seen in this age of credit cards. But they were made with such love.
This story meant a lot more to me tonight.
A few weeks ago, I started thinking about the holidays. I asked my daughter's dad what days he worked the week he had her, I found out that both of us were working the week after Christmas. I was off for the thursday and friday, and he would get Christmas day off, but there was no doubt that Boxing day in the merchandise business was going to be a workday. I offered a colleague to do his Christmas day shift, so that I could be with my daughter while her dad worked. This meant that I would leave work at 1am and return at 8, and that for the first time in a long time, I would work both Christmas evening and day, but for me it was worth the sacrifice. I told her dad that I was able to switch, so that he wouldn't have to worry about it. He got his grandparents to agree to have her the day after. My daughter wouldn't have to worry about anything. She was taken care of for the week. I would have a little less sleep but would be able to spend time with her eventually, after she spent the holidays with her Dad's family.
Then her dad called tonight. Don't worry he says. I got it switched. I don't work Boxing Day anymore. I felt a familiar pang that Jim and Della felt. Really? I said, incredulous. I had Christmas day off, with an understanding that I would see my daughter on that day, and now am working both evening and day, with little sleep, not to make sure she is taken care of but for no benefit to anyone.
I hope one day she understands what lengths I have gone to to take care of her. I hope she sees what I would do, even if what I do is undone and futile.
This time, unlike last year, no family would be coming my way. This has nearly always been the case. I spent Christmas a lot of different ways over the years. I went home for a while, but it's hard to go home after a while when it never goes the other way. I worked quite a few. I spent one memorable Christmas with cousins in Ontario which ended abruptly when I found out with a desperate message on my answering machine that I was late for my shift and 6 hours away, somehow miscounting the days with families celebrating in different households over several dates!
The first year I was separated, I worked since I didn't have my daughter. She came over with her dad Christmas evening. I made supper and he read The Night Before Christmas. Christmas day, they got up, did stockings and opened gifts and then came over to my place. I thought they would wait for presents, but I didn't have many anyway for me, so it made no difference to my daughter. At the time, her dad didn't have a car, so I drove her and her dad to Christmas with her grandparents and then off to work. It was strange. For 13 years I had celebrated with this family. I had bought any gifts, or made any parts of the meal, or brought the wine. But then it was over. As if, after all that time, I was only ever tied to them through my husband. As if we had no other relationship.
The second year I was separated, I had Christmas off and I had my daughter, and my brother came, and it was wonderful. For the first time in 20 years since I moved to this province, I could make treats that he also would identify as nostalgic. He brought some old standbys too. We made snowmen and skied. It was the best and most genuine Christmas I had ever had in Montreal!
Again, and as expected it was weird with her dad. But despite it being a one way street, Christmas is not the time of exclusion, at least not for me. So I invited his family, who said an enthusiatic, sure! but they only stayed awkwardly on the couch for a few minutes for the sake of a dear aunt who hadn't been briefed on the exclusions they were invoking when they picked him up. They didn't stay after all. My daughter's dad was invited, but he also didn't stay for the meal he was invited to, and also didn't say so until he abruptly got picked up before we started the meal. He set up the stockings at his house before Christmas and explained Santa wasn't real, and exchanged gifts before Christmas, as if to lessen what I had to offer. But these things have to be let go, so that my daughter can celebrate, wherever she goes.
This year, I found a used copy of O. Henry's book of short stories, and for the first time I read my favorite Christmas story to my daughter, The Gift of the Magi. I tried not to embarrass myself with tears, but it is just so moving! These kinds of sacrifices are not seen in this age of credit cards. But they were made with such love.
This story meant a lot more to me tonight.
A few weeks ago, I started thinking about the holidays. I asked my daughter's dad what days he worked the week he had her, I found out that both of us were working the week after Christmas. I was off for the thursday and friday, and he would get Christmas day off, but there was no doubt that Boxing day in the merchandise business was going to be a workday. I offered a colleague to do his Christmas day shift, so that I could be with my daughter while her dad worked. This meant that I would leave work at 1am and return at 8, and that for the first time in a long time, I would work both Christmas evening and day, but for me it was worth the sacrifice. I told her dad that I was able to switch, so that he wouldn't have to worry about it. He got his grandparents to agree to have her the day after. My daughter wouldn't have to worry about anything. She was taken care of for the week. I would have a little less sleep but would be able to spend time with her eventually, after she spent the holidays with her Dad's family.
Then her dad called tonight. Don't worry he says. I got it switched. I don't work Boxing Day anymore. I felt a familiar pang that Jim and Della felt. Really? I said, incredulous. I had Christmas day off, with an understanding that I would see my daughter on that day, and now am working both evening and day, with little sleep, not to make sure she is taken care of but for no benefit to anyone.
I hope one day she understands what lengths I have gone to to take care of her. I hope she sees what I would do, even if what I do is undone and futile.
THE TAO OF PACMAN
I think some of the best screenwriting is seen on tv, which seems like an unlikely atmosphere, given the immense pressure to produce a weekly script. I saw a recent episode of This Is Us, and yet again the dialogue and story were touching and thoughtful and funny. I am truly amazed!
My favorite thread was a memory of one of the triplets, Randall. He made a poignant statement about pacman while discussing a difficult decision with his wife. He was remembering the hours he played pacman as a kid, and was reminiscing about teaching his daughters to play. He referred to the simplicity of the game. Running from ghosts. Performing the unending "Sisyphean" task of endless eating dots and escaping ghosts, level after level. I thought it was simple and true. It reminded me of the Tao of Pooh, and I thought it was beautifully done. But after Randall speaks, instead of mirroring the sentiment, his wife gives him this look, and asks him what he is talking about. It turned from serious to funny, and their polar opposites played in balance yet again
Still, there is something simple in the game of pacman that echoes some of the truths of the universe. Just keep moving. Avoid pitfalls. If you don't make it, try again. Practice. Practice. Practice.
So to all of those exhausted writers in a room somewhere, trying to think of their next great idea, and refining the stories and conversations of their next show: Keep making magic! I admire your craft!
My favorite thread was a memory of one of the triplets, Randall. He made a poignant statement about pacman while discussing a difficult decision with his wife. He was remembering the hours he played pacman as a kid, and was reminiscing about teaching his daughters to play. He referred to the simplicity of the game. Running from ghosts. Performing the unending "Sisyphean" task of endless eating dots and escaping ghosts, level after level. I thought it was simple and true. It reminded me of the Tao of Pooh, and I thought it was beautifully done. But after Randall speaks, instead of mirroring the sentiment, his wife gives him this look, and asks him what he is talking about. It turned from serious to funny, and their polar opposites played in balance yet again
Still, there is something simple in the game of pacman that echoes some of the truths of the universe. Just keep moving. Avoid pitfalls. If you don't make it, try again. Practice. Practice. Practice.
So to all of those exhausted writers in a room somewhere, trying to think of their next great idea, and refining the stories and conversations of their next show: Keep making magic! I admire your craft!
BUCKET LIST 2018
LIT 66 with nephew as senior February YES!
4th of July in USA NEXT YEAR?
Run half marathon Ottawa Tulip Festival NO BUT SIGNED UP FOR MONTREAL SEPTEMBER
Medieval feast/castle in TO, Brockville Fulford house, Adirondacks (Tom Thompson)?2020
Hike Hautes Gorges and Grand-Jardins ?2020
Stewart hall camp TWO WEEKS
Organize cooking - menu and recipes WOP (work in progress)
Apple picking in Rougement?2019
NYC Central Park, Natural hx museum?2020
Louisville inn with vegetarian menu at 100 St. Laurent, Victorian style B and B half way to QC
Berlin zoo/ Peacock Island YES!(?Ammersee, Cuxhaven, Leibzig, Dresden, Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Munich, Andech)
4th of July in USA NEXT YEAR?
Run half marathon Ottawa Tulip Festival NO BUT SIGNED UP FOR MONTREAL SEPTEMBER
Medieval feast/castle in TO, Brockville Fulford house, Adirondacks (Tom Thompson)?2020
Hike Hautes Gorges and Grand-Jardins ?2020
Stewart hall camp TWO WEEKS
Organize cooking - menu and recipes WOP (work in progress)
Apple picking in Rougement?2019
NYC Central Park, Natural hx museum?2020
Louisville inn with vegetarian menu at 100 St. Laurent, Victorian style B and B half way to QC
Berlin zoo/ Peacock Island YES!(?Ammersee, Cuxhaven, Leibzig, Dresden, Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Munich, Andech)
Sunday, November 26, 2017
JOSEPH CAMPBELL QUOTE
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
TONIGHT I RUN FOR HOLLY
Running starts with eating. Eating light. Not overeating. It's uncomfortable, often cold or too hot. Something usually hurts.
Today I have my running clothes on, day 2.
Yesterday I watched a youtube video about a dad and a daughter who ran a 100 miler together for the first time. He was 59. I didn't run. I worked late.
Today I got up late. I went to a Christmas fair where I had part of a pretzel. On return, I ate a box of candy, and ate breakfast and lunch at the same time, instead of running.
But today I ran for Holly. She called when I was debating about an early supper or a nap. Running was vaguely a choice but I was warm under a blanket, and if she hadn't called from the parking lot of the Salvation Army before she dropped off donations this afternoon, I might not have gone for a run.
Because she gave me 15 minutes to text her that I was going for a run. And texted again when the 15 minutes passed.
But I was getting ready. I listened to the end of Zahn and Sia's Dust to Dawn while my phone charged. I drank water to rehydrate after my glass of wine earlier. One trip to the bathroom, put my hair in a ponytail, threw off the lap blanket, zipped off my warm Lululemon scuba hoodie, laced up my runners, put on my gloves and quilted jacket and junky toque. It was dark, so I found my head lamp and finally, I was off.
I ran through the forest on a crunchy trail, up a hill perfect for tobogganing once it snows, by my daughter's school, through the train tunnel where a bearded millenial was lighting up a joint, along the water past dog walkers who often gave me berth, through the village lit up for Christmas where a gaggle of girls made way for the "runner" and a toddler cheered me on, and finally back up the hill through the golf course and home.
I was happy and tired and chilled when I got home, but a change into pjs and a check-in with my inspiring friend, and a hot soup, and here I sit, warmed up, and grateful for the run, and my friend.
Thanks! Today I ran for you!
Today I have my running clothes on, day 2.
Yesterday I watched a youtube video about a dad and a daughter who ran a 100 miler together for the first time. He was 59. I didn't run. I worked late.
Today I got up late. I went to a Christmas fair where I had part of a pretzel. On return, I ate a box of candy, and ate breakfast and lunch at the same time, instead of running.
But today I ran for Holly. She called when I was debating about an early supper or a nap. Running was vaguely a choice but I was warm under a blanket, and if she hadn't called from the parking lot of the Salvation Army before she dropped off donations this afternoon, I might not have gone for a run.
Because she gave me 15 minutes to text her that I was going for a run. And texted again when the 15 minutes passed.
But I was getting ready. I listened to the end of Zahn and Sia's Dust to Dawn while my phone charged. I drank water to rehydrate after my glass of wine earlier. One trip to the bathroom, put my hair in a ponytail, threw off the lap blanket, zipped off my warm Lululemon scuba hoodie, laced up my runners, put on my gloves and quilted jacket and junky toque. It was dark, so I found my head lamp and finally, I was off.
I ran through the forest on a crunchy trail, up a hill perfect for tobogganing once it snows, by my daughter's school, through the train tunnel where a bearded millenial was lighting up a joint, along the water past dog walkers who often gave me berth, through the village lit up for Christmas where a gaggle of girls made way for the "runner" and a toddler cheered me on, and finally back up the hill through the golf course and home.
I was happy and tired and chilled when I got home, but a change into pjs and a check-in with my inspiring friend, and a hot soup, and here I sit, warmed up, and grateful for the run, and my friend.
Thanks! Today I ran for you!
THANKSGIVING TAKE TWO
The thing about shift work is that you miss a lot of holidays. I like to make them up, at a later date, because then it doesn't feel like you missed anything, but just delayed it.
Now, I am missing even more events. I am glad that my daughter celebrates with her dad's family on the proper day, but sometimes it means that I do miss the holiday after all.
This year, Thanksgiving was one such holiday. But I was able to use the oddness of two Thanksgiving to make up for it. Canadian Thanksgiving had come and gone, but the Macy's day parade and some homemade treats were reason to celebrate on the American Thanksgiving Day.
The perogies were fun to make together, but the dough gets tough quick so we had to work quickly. We were careful not to overstuff and made enough with leftovers for another meal. This time I tried a recipe with the end of the dough and leftover mashed potato cheddar filling. Basically, combined together, they were cooked as dumplings and quite yummy. This time I used Balderson 2 year aged cheddar, and it was spectacular!
To try:
Quick Pierogi
1-2 cups mashed potatoes
1 egg
1 cup cheddar cheese (half if good aged cheddar)
salt and pepper to taste
flour
Mix potatoes with egg, salt, pepper and cheese. Add flour until a soft dough is formed. Drop by teaspoonful into boiling water and boil for 20 minutes. Drain and serve with butter and onions.
Lastly, and really only for me, I peeled a rutabaga (turnip) and 6 carrots, chopped them in chunks, and cooked until tender. They were mashed but chunky so I pureed them in a food processor with margarine and milk. With the puree at the bottom, I made the dressing and baked in the oven at 350C until warmed through. It was just as I remembered, but maybe a little moist. I couldn't find the recipe, if there is one, but I think the dressing should be just fried in the margarine without the water reconstitution.
Happy Thanksgiving, un ou deux fois!
Now, I am missing even more events. I am glad that my daughter celebrates with her dad's family on the proper day, but sometimes it means that I do miss the holiday after all.
This year, Thanksgiving was one such holiday. But I was able to use the oddness of two Thanksgiving to make up for it. Canadian Thanksgiving had come and gone, but the Macy's day parade and some homemade treats were reason to celebrate on the American Thanksgiving Day.
The perogies were fun to make together, but the dough gets tough quick so we had to work quickly. We were careful not to overstuff and made enough with leftovers for another meal. This time I tried a recipe with the end of the dough and leftover mashed potato cheddar filling. Basically, combined together, they were cooked as dumplings and quite yummy. This time I used Balderson 2 year aged cheddar, and it was spectacular!
To try:
Quick Pierogi
1-2 cups mashed potatoes
1 egg
1 cup cheddar cheese (half if good aged cheddar)
salt and pepper to taste
flour
Mix potatoes with egg, salt, pepper and cheese. Add flour until a soft dough is formed. Drop by teaspoonful into boiling water and boil for 20 minutes. Drain and serve with butter and onions.
Lastly, and really only for me, I peeled a rutabaga (turnip) and 6 carrots, chopped them in chunks, and cooked until tender. They were mashed but chunky so I pureed them in a food processor with margarine and milk. With the puree at the bottom, I made the dressing and baked in the oven at 350C until warmed through. It was just as I remembered, but maybe a little moist. I couldn't find the recipe, if there is one, but I think the dressing should be just fried in the margarine without the water reconstitution.
Happy Thanksgiving, un ou deux fois!
 |
| Homemade Perogies, large and small |
 |
| Baked turnip and carrots with Stove Top Stuffing (see recipe in Christmas Squash) |
 |
| Honeyed carrots, mashed potatoes, pirogies, quick pierogi and turnip bake |
 |
| I am so thankful! |
LIBRARY SURPRISES
I love taking out a book and finding someone's due date slip to follow. Today the slip only revealed the name of the book I sought out, Hidden Figures. I like when a person's list is long enough to have something else to consider, like a treasure hunt.
KIDNAPPING AND THE TALIBAN
To my loved ones, if I am ever kidnapped, do not pay my ransom.
It appears that paying works, but the money goes to fund terrorism. That is a terrible conflict to resolve, but I know what I would want. Check out this podcast for more.
It appears that paying works, but the money goes to fund terrorism. That is a terrible conflict to resolve, but I know what I would want. Check out this podcast for more.
NON STARTER
I heard on a drama recently the use of the phrase, "non starter". I think it was meant to simplify the latin "non sequitur ", but I am not sure it is any more clear. I think the clearest translation is "it doesn't follow" or even more simply, "that doesn't make sense" or "that has no logic".
MY BEST QUOTE OF THE DAY
I was at work and asked the office fixer to look at the tonopen (that measures eye pressure) yet again, because it was not calibrating on a couple of attempts, so I wouldn't be able to trust the result.
It was a busy day, and he came to me to ask me to withdraw my request, claiming that each time he takes it to the technical department they try it and it works.
I understood he really didn't need to have another thing to do that day, but this wasn't going to be satisfactory to ignore the problems with a vital machine.
I said, "It can't just work once. It has to work most of the time."
I must have been convincing, because the resident laughed, and he took it away, begrudgingly, to be looked at again.
It was a busy day, and he came to me to ask me to withdraw my request, claiming that each time he takes it to the technical department they try it and it works.
I understood he really didn't need to have another thing to do that day, but this wasn't going to be satisfactory to ignore the problems with a vital machine.
I said, "It can't just work once. It has to work most of the time."
I must have been convincing, because the resident laughed, and he took it away, begrudgingly, to be looked at again.
MY IDENTITY
I am a lover of beauty.
I am a runner with an eating disorder, which sometimes make me a bad runner. I am fighting it!
I will always look for the abnormal, not the normal.
I cannot let perceived injustice go. I will always feel morally outraged.
I love to adore people and see the good in them.
I will always feel responsible.
I love a good laugh, but I know life is often serious.
I am morally a vegetarian, but I understand the need for being an omnivore. I cannot, however, celebrate being a carnivore, and abhore how we farm animals today.
I am environmentally conscious and believe we all should leave the smallest imprint on the planet possible.
I prefer experiences over things.
I love nature and need to be outdoors often.
I will never be skinny again.
I loved to be hugged and kissed.
I am an introvert, but like to socialize.
I like to get things done.
I feel the world would be a better place if everyone looked out for each other.
I believe humans are, in general, good.
I value kindness and charm but don't trust it.
I hate owing people and prefer going dutch.
I am a romantic.
I used to be confident but I am not often anymore.
I believe in a being greater than ourselves to explain the wonders of the universe.
I am a mother full time, with part time with my daughter.
I am a doctor.
I have many regrets and fear my life might be too limited to change this.
I speak my mind without much filtering and value directness over playing games.
I was convinced that punctuality is a waste of time early on in my career, but also believe that punctuality is the politeness of princes.
I often am lazy and enjoy wasting time.
I like to do things well and carefully.
I enjoy having a lot of time to do something.
I perform better under pressure, observation and accountability.
I like to be generous.
I feel saved money is security.
I like to learn, but often feel limitations to my intelligence.
I struggle to be creative but feel relieved to entertain it.
I feel a shared experience is often more valuable than one done alone.
I think before I act and rarely act without thinking.
I rarely lose my temper without warning, but would consider myself too often impatient.
I believe honest is the best policy, but admit that being blunt is often harsh, and needs to be tempered.
I believe temperance on most subjects.
I find forgiveness to be essential in life, but admit that some people go too far and exceptionally lose my trust.
I believe life is precious and valuable and worth protecting.
I need good friends in my life, but very few aquaintances.
I need men and women and children and elderly in my life to feel balanced.
I know life isn't fair.
I am very grateful for what I have.
I like to do things for myself.
I love design. If you can have practicality and beauty, why wouldn't you try to have both?
I love great communication, but know that it does not come easily to me.
I think it is hard to live with people and believe everyone has a right to their own space.
I hate evil and ugly things.
I love passionate people.
I am introverted, sensing, thinking, judging (ISTJ).
I am cool blue unless under pressure when I am fiery red.
I am a good observer and enjoy being a supporter and a helper.
I speak too fast and listen too poorly.
I believe marriage to be a thing apart, needing partnership and attention and respect and faith. I believe both partners need to give their all, not half half. I believe that one of the greatest acts of love is doing something for the other that doesn't matter to you. I believe communication is essential but I think sometimes it just isn't working. I believe life is too precious to let a partner disengage and keep pouring in your investment. You are allowed some self-interest.
I am a runner with an eating disorder, which sometimes make me a bad runner. I am fighting it!
I will always look for the abnormal, not the normal.
I cannot let perceived injustice go. I will always feel morally outraged.
I love to adore people and see the good in them.
I will always feel responsible.
I love a good laugh, but I know life is often serious.
I am morally a vegetarian, but I understand the need for being an omnivore. I cannot, however, celebrate being a carnivore, and abhore how we farm animals today.
I am environmentally conscious and believe we all should leave the smallest imprint on the planet possible.
I prefer experiences over things.
I love nature and need to be outdoors often.
I will never be skinny again.
I loved to be hugged and kissed.
I am an introvert, but like to socialize.
I like to get things done.
I feel the world would be a better place if everyone looked out for each other.
I believe humans are, in general, good.
I value kindness and charm but don't trust it.
I hate owing people and prefer going dutch.
I am a romantic.
I used to be confident but I am not often anymore.
I believe in a being greater than ourselves to explain the wonders of the universe.
I am a mother full time, with part time with my daughter.
I am a doctor.
I have many regrets and fear my life might be too limited to change this.
I speak my mind without much filtering and value directness over playing games.
I was convinced that punctuality is a waste of time early on in my career, but also believe that punctuality is the politeness of princes.
I often am lazy and enjoy wasting time.
I like to do things well and carefully.
I enjoy having a lot of time to do something.
I perform better under pressure, observation and accountability.
I like to be generous.
I feel saved money is security.
I like to learn, but often feel limitations to my intelligence.
I struggle to be creative but feel relieved to entertain it.
I feel a shared experience is often more valuable than one done alone.
I think before I act and rarely act without thinking.
I rarely lose my temper without warning, but would consider myself too often impatient.
I believe honest is the best policy, but admit that being blunt is often harsh, and needs to be tempered.
I believe temperance on most subjects.
I find forgiveness to be essential in life, but admit that some people go too far and exceptionally lose my trust.
I believe life is precious and valuable and worth protecting.
I need good friends in my life, but very few aquaintances.
I need men and women and children and elderly in my life to feel balanced.
I know life isn't fair.
I am very grateful for what I have.
I like to do things for myself.
I love design. If you can have practicality and beauty, why wouldn't you try to have both?
I love great communication, but know that it does not come easily to me.
I think it is hard to live with people and believe everyone has a right to their own space.
I hate evil and ugly things.
I love passionate people.
I am introverted, sensing, thinking, judging (ISTJ).
I am cool blue unless under pressure when I am fiery red.
I am a good observer and enjoy being a supporter and a helper.
I speak too fast and listen too poorly.
I believe marriage to be a thing apart, needing partnership and attention and respect and faith. I believe both partners need to give their all, not half half. I believe that one of the greatest acts of love is doing something for the other that doesn't matter to you. I believe communication is essential but I think sometimes it just isn't working. I believe life is too precious to let a partner disengage and keep pouring in your investment. You are allowed some self-interest.
TAPAS AND A CHICK FLICK
My friend often makes a big spread and shares it with us girls. This time we thought we'd share the burden, potluck style, and bring tapas for a crowd. I think it ended up being just as much effort, but, wow, the variety! We had so much delicious food!
We watched Enough Said, a slow moving odd romance between actors Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini, and talked until after midnight. It was wonderful.
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| Rice crackers (gluten free), mayo, I think, fresh avocado, and Barefoot Contessa's eggplant dip that my smart friend freezes in batches for just such occasions! |
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| Eggrolls and dipping sauce |
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| Zucchini roses with puff pastry(trimmed short to perfection) and cheddar. Perfection! |
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| Stuffed mushrooms with bacon and a few vegetarian, nearest the bottom, just for me! |
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| Potato wedges with bacon and cheese |
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| Broiled golden cauliflower |
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| Potato tortilla, or rösti |
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| Stir fry with the cutest take out boxes! |
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| When foodies come together, it's a party! |
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| Stirfried noodles |
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| The perfect tapas plate with devilled egg |
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| Well we barely had room but we had to have coffee liqueur with rich chocolate dessert |
Thursday, November 16, 2017
THE ENDOWMENT EFFECT
We know it well now, but it used to be assumed that people made economic choices rationally. But one man won a Nobel Prize for proving this to be wrong. Richard Thaler, who came up with the idea of mental accounting, set up an experiment. He gave half the class a free mug, and nothing to the other half. The mug owners were allowed to sell the mugs to the ones without. You would expect rational behaviour of selling the mugs, as it is automatic profit. But it turns out that having something makes you overvalue it. This is the endowment effect. Not all of the mug owners would sell their mugs at the price negotiated. The mug owners valued their mugs double to what the mug buyers wanted to pay. Interesting, right?
We have a lot of wrong ideas when it comes to our mental accounting. Not all days work are equal. We are more likely to spend more with a credit card than with cold hard cash. So it leads me to a couple of other ideas. Is this why hoarders get sentimental about their stuff? And if you have something, make sure you don't overvalue it, and get rid of it for a reasonable amount, probably half of what you think you deserve!
We have a lot of wrong ideas when it comes to our mental accounting. Not all days work are equal. We are more likely to spend more with a credit card than with cold hard cash. So it leads me to a couple of other ideas. Is this why hoarders get sentimental about their stuff? And if you have something, make sure you don't overvalue it, and get rid of it for a reasonable amount, probably half of what you think you deserve!
Friday, November 10, 2017
LESSONS FROM MARATHON TRAINING
I've been obsessed with long distance running lately, but still not doing enough of it. So to add to my inspirations, I just watched a TED talk on a business class that requires you to train and run a marathon to pass the course. Andrew Johnston distills the lessons into one essential quote: "It's not about doing the OCCASIONAL BIG things, it's about doing the CONSISTENT SMALL things."
This is where I get derailed, and living two lives isn't helping. But the one big day doesn't make up for all the other days I didn't do something. So I am inspired not only to run less distance but more often, but also to try everyday to do the things I need to do, for myself, to be healthy, and for my daughter, so that when I miss a day or two, it's an aberration and not a norm.
This is where I get derailed, and living two lives isn't helping. But the one big day doesn't make up for all the other days I didn't do something. So I am inspired not only to run less distance but more often, but also to try everyday to do the things I need to do, for myself, to be healthy, and for my daughter, so that when I miss a day or two, it's an aberration and not a norm.
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
RULES FOR DIVISIBILITY
I helped my grade six daughter with her homework tonight and learned things I never knew.
Here's how to find out if there are multiples in any given number. Here's the youtube video that we learned it all from:
1.No explanation necessary. The answer is yes.
2. Any even number is divisible by 2.
Okay, this is where it gets interesting:
3. If you add up any number, your sum, if divisible by 3, is going to be divisible by three. For example, 458, 230 adds up to 22, which is not divisible by 3. This also eliminates the possibility of it being divisible by 6 or 9. If 22 is too big a number for you, you can add the digits together to get 4, and no for sure that it is not divisible by 3. Another example, 72,452, which adds up to 20, also not divisible by 3. Another example, 383, 655 adds up to 30. This is a number divisible by 3.
4. For divisibility by four, you just need to look at the last 2 numbers, no matter how big the number. For the numbers above: 458, 230, the number 30 is not divisible by 4. In 72, 451, the number 51 is not divisible by 4. Lastly, in the number 383, 655, the number 55 is not divisible by 4.
5. Five is another one most people recognize. If the number ends in 0 or 5, it is divisible by 5.
6. To be divisible by 6, it should be an even number also divisible by 3.
7. To be divisible by 9, add up the numbers, and divide the sum.
Hope that helps!
Here's how to find out if there are multiples in any given number. Here's the youtube video that we learned it all from:
1.No explanation necessary. The answer is yes.
2. Any even number is divisible by 2.
Okay, this is where it gets interesting:
3. If you add up any number, your sum, if divisible by 3, is going to be divisible by three. For example, 458, 230 adds up to 22, which is not divisible by 3. This also eliminates the possibility of it being divisible by 6 or 9. If 22 is too big a number for you, you can add the digits together to get 4, and no for sure that it is not divisible by 3. Another example, 72,452, which adds up to 20, also not divisible by 3. Another example, 383, 655 adds up to 30. This is a number divisible by 3.
4. For divisibility by four, you just need to look at the last 2 numbers, no matter how big the number. For the numbers above: 458, 230, the number 30 is not divisible by 4. In 72, 451, the number 51 is not divisible by 4. Lastly, in the number 383, 655, the number 55 is not divisible by 4.
5. Five is another one most people recognize. If the number ends in 0 or 5, it is divisible by 5.
6. To be divisible by 6, it should be an even number also divisible by 3.
7. To be divisible by 9, add up the numbers, and divide the sum.
Hope that helps!
MARK'S AD NAUSEUM
I want to let you in to a little secret.
What we do defines who we are.
It's not where we're from or what we said.
It's the commitments we make,
the promises we keep,
the sweat we pour.
We are the well worn.
This is who we are.
What we do defines who we are.
It's not where we're from or what we said.
It's the commitments we make,
the promises we keep,
the sweat we pour.
We are the well worn.
This is who we are.
IF YOU OWN A HOME, YOU CAN GIVE UP YOUR GYM MEMBERSHIP!
I have a colleague that calls himself a gym rat. He likes to go everyday.
In contrast, I own a house. I get core training raking leaves, hauling the garbage, recycling and compost bins out. My arms get a workout shaking out the carpet, mowing the lawn, and mopping the floors. I can get 10,000 steps in and around my house.
Good thing, since with house payments, taxes, and maintenance, I can't afford a gym membership!
So if you don't have a house, enroll in a gym. But if you have a house, be glad that it gives you an excuse to exercise. It's good for you!
In contrast, I own a house. I get core training raking leaves, hauling the garbage, recycling and compost bins out. My arms get a workout shaking out the carpet, mowing the lawn, and mopping the floors. I can get 10,000 steps in and around my house.
Good thing, since with house payments, taxes, and maintenance, I can't afford a gym membership!
So if you don't have a house, enroll in a gym. But if you have a house, be glad that it gives you an excuse to exercise. It's good for you!
Monday, November 6, 2017
SCHADENFREUDE AND GÖNNEN
Schadenfreude (German) - Pleasure in someone else's misfortune
Commiseration - Feeling someone's pain, sympathetic
Compassion - Displeasure and wanting to alleviate someone's pain, empathetic
Mudita (Sanskrit), sich gönnen (German)- Pleasure in someone else's pleasure (vicarious joy, not pride, not self-interested), enjoying someone's good pleasure,
Commiseration - Feeling someone's pain, sympathetic
Compassion - Displeasure and wanting to alleviate someone's pain, empathetic
Mudita (Sanskrit), sich gönnen (German)- Pleasure in someone else's pleasure (vicarious joy, not pride, not self-interested), enjoying someone's good pleasure,
BEING META
The example that started this entry was "Stay meta". In colloquial terms, this seems to mean "self-aware".
From organic chemistry, I remember meta being a position on an organic ring. The position near the R group is ortho-, the next position is meta-, and the position opposite (third from the R group of a hexagon) para-. Meta comes from the greek, signifying the middle.
Meta is self-referential. It is art that reflects on art. It's a movie about making movies. It's the data about data.
So if you came from the generation I did, the Greek version still applies to the middle position of the benzene ring. Metadata is still at data about data. But now a new generation is using it to talk about themselves. I am mindful. I am introspective and extraspective simultaneously. I am meta.
From organic chemistry, I remember meta being a position on an organic ring. The position near the R group is ortho-, the next position is meta-, and the position opposite (third from the R group of a hexagon) para-. Meta comes from the greek, signifying the middle.
Meta is self-referential. It is art that reflects on art. It's a movie about making movies. It's the data about data.
So if you came from the generation I did, the Greek version still applies to the middle position of the benzene ring. Metadata is still at data about data. But now a new generation is using it to talk about themselves. I am mindful. I am introspective and extraspective simultaneously. I am meta.
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