INSPIRATIONS IN GEOMETRY

I was browsing pinterest when I saw this gorgeous pattern. It reminded me of a quilt and I figured it must have simple rules to construct to be cut into baking or sew into a blanket. I found it on Nicola's Tasty Kitchen and it is her beautiful kibbeh dish.

This doodle inspired me to summarise first Corinthians chapter 13. It was a really fun exercise!

FIRST, divide the circle into eights by bisecting two radii perpendicularly, twice.
FROM here, run parallel lines vertically on each side of the quartered lines, sparing an inch in the centre, skipping, and joining chevrons in each quarter.
FINALLY, mark chevrons every inch horizontally.
STAND BACK and enjoy.
Correct as necessary.

UPDATING LIGHT SWITCHES

The tactile pleasure of my other lightswitches motivated the change, but the esthetics were overdue to be changed.

The original by Stumpy. Here's where you turn off the appropriate breaker, if you haven't already.

Unscrewed

Stiff wires that I didn't touch. Clearly more wires than the switch would require, but I didn't want to jump down with that rabbit hole!

Confirmation that no power is linked before unscrewing the electric wires

These wires were stiff, so I needed needle nose pliers to unhook them from the screw post

The update. Visually and tactilely esthetically pleasing, and an easy project.

BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA AND HOMEMADE CLOUD MAGIC

MERINGUES

TIGER BARS

I had refrigerated the bottom layer, thinking this would be the best surface for the essential butterscotch drizzle.

Once cooled, I wondered if it would have been better to use the bottom layer at room temperature. 

Checkerboard to allow for the rum balls for Christmas at work.

recipe

CHRISTMAS CUPCAKES FOR CLASS

THE PLEASURE OF SNOWSHOEING

MEGAPALOOZA NUMBER EIGHT

PEA RISOTTI WITH FRESH PARMESAN

PEANUT BUTTER AND BUTTERSCOTCH CONFETTI

GLUTEN FREE CORNMEAL BISCOTTI

cornmeal and besan (chickpea flour)

HOMEMADE CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

TROPICAL VEGGIE BURGER

Fresh pineapple avocado veggie burger

RUM BALLS

PERFECT PEAR PORRIDGE

Coffee and soya milk, pear and Vieux Moulin Fleurs de Metis honey

HOW WERE WE FRIENDS?

You work from home and regularly pretend that you work when you are shopping, eating, skiing. It is clear you are taking advantage of your employer and that you know this.
You don't listen.
You brag about the things I don't admire, but actively seek praise for the values they contradict. You are the very definition of a hypocrite.
Even when you can avoid controversy, and are explicitly asked to change the topic, you have to spew your racist filth.
You manipulate individuals for your own popularity, and post to facebook to document your achievements.
You delight in gossip and grow close to those who are greatest need, feeding on their weaknesses and milking their sorrow.
You never remember to return anything.
You criticize but cannot take criticism.
You think your dog and children are always right, but due to your ignorance, they are badly behaved and you are to blame for at least a part.  You value your dog over your human companion.
You overspend and say you stop, but in the same conversation decide you cannot live without buying something else.
You always express regret in drinking the next day and then plan the next party where you repeat the excess.
You feel entitled and take advantage of privileges without thought of consequences.
You love to attend bible study and think of yourself as pious, but pursue your selfishness on every occasion, to the detriment of your husband, kids and friends.
You are so incredibly judgemental, and have so many times badmouthed your former friends that I know exactly what you are saying now, as I have distanced myself from you.
I was always cautious to tell you the truth, because I knew it would never be held private.
You spend too much.
You drink too much.
You swear too much.
You are selfish.
You are bigoted.
You are a bigmouth.
You think your way is the right way, and when given feedback, get defensive and learn nothing.
You take advantage of people too much.
You couldn't mourn your beloved dog for more than a day without getting another one. This is representative of how you treat anything. You are shallow and value image over real relationships.
You have no insight into your dog's bad behaviour, your children's or your own.
You can't reflect on your behaviour, and rationalize your drawbacks without any thought to the negative impact on those around you.


You have, somehow, great people as friends, and I liked being a part of it. But you are too much for me, and I cannot be the hypocrite now that I see the way things are. I hope you don't lose too much before you change. I hope you can be better, for your loved ones' sake.

ADDENDUM:
Why I am trying not to engage:

Her: 

Awesome just got back.into downhill

U any good

Me:

Nah, just average, but I love it!

I am going to meet up with afriend I met snorkeling in FLORIDA. She goes to Idaho every year and loves it.

Her:

You met someone

A guy

Me:

(no response)

???!@#$%

AYN RAND ON LOVE

I didn't really know or like Ayn Rand, but I was aware of her and may or may not have read her second book Atlas Shrugged, her magnum opus if I understand correctly. I definitely read part of it but didn't get what it all the hype about it was. Then again, maybe I should give it another go.

This year, I happened upon a movie with her name in the title, and was surprised to know that she had  developed her own following for a brand of philosophy called Objectivism. The film was made for 1999 tv and features Eric Stoltz, Julie Delpy, Peter Fonda, and Don McKellar.

I learned that her name did not resemble Ann or Ain, but was pronounced like a hard "i" followed by an "n"; like "ion" without the "o" in the middle. I learned that she was self named, being born Alisa Rosenbaum in Russian.

The premise is that every human must find their own virtues, and reject doing things for others. By living with self-love and self-esteem, we become worthy of our own love, and do things for ourselves, but in doing so, can be loved for these virtues and pursuits. She clearly rejects altruism as being selfless, but also does not agree with immoral egos unchecked. This may be the seed of individualism today, but, as most of us with philosophies, the movie is interesting in large part because of the contrast between her ideals and how she actually may have lived her life.

Of course, like most rationalists, she was an atheist, but practically created her own religion.

One of the last quotes she gave (in Helen Mirren's voice) was at a conference in Los Angeles in 1981, one year before her death, in response the question of what is the nature of love.

"Love is a command to rise to one’s highest potential, the best and noblest vision of ourselves. Love is a reward, the greatest we can earn, granted to us for the moral qualities we have achieved in our lives."

I like the romantic idea of the first line. It inspires me. But the second part breaks down on me. I would love no one, and no one would love me, if if was based on the "moral qualities we have achieved  in our lives". I know I have loved when the other did not deserve, and continue to love  many with no doubts that no matter what they do, I would love them anyway. Maybe, though, they have shown their virtues for so long and unerringly, that I disbelieve them to be capable of hypocrisy.

But there are others that I do not love. They are distastful to me. I find myself avoiding them, because I am a truth teller, and if I told them each time we met how little I trust or value or believe in them, it would only cause pain for no good. So how to end things with someone who is so hypocritical? A blow out with ultimate truth in the absence of grace, or a passive death and avoidance. Neither seem good options. But in this, I agree with Ayn, I must follow my principles and not lie. I cannot be with them as I do not trust them. I want to tell them of their hypocrisy, but they will not believe it. I know what things they say about me because I have heard them say them about others. I cannot abide the idea of friendship where there is no kinship. But how to be kind. This, objectivism, does not seem to answer.

CHRISTMAS ADVENT SEASON 2017

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Playmobil advent calendar with animals and snowman 

Smartie advent and old fashioned countdowns, a marvelously designed card and a nativity scene 

Stewart Hall Snowman art from yesteryear

Foamed chocolate melt with handmade marshmallow rounds

I don't have a hearth, but the top of my kitchen cupboards worked well for the same purpose.

While I did elf on the shelf, a growing crew of  friends hid for me daily too!

Channeling German/Austrian Christmas with marzipan stollen, pfeffernusse and Mozart Kugeln

Christmas cheer

Our favorite gift

Stars, snowmen and goodies

Christmas breakfast before work

Snacks

The burgeoning advent table

Homely decor

Twinkle lights are magic in the darkest part of the year.

CREATIVITY OF A GRADE SIXER

Cursive Name Symmetry

I love going to my daughter's school. It's a rare occasion now that she is in grade six, but twice a year they give us parents ten minutes to talk to the teachers. Then I have a few minutes to wander the halls and see the art they have been doing.

This time was especially fun because she had come with me and could point out the nuances.

Here is, word for word, her explanation: "It's a stingray that turns into a swallow as it jumps out of the water and as the swallow keeps going up into the sky, it transforms into an alien."

The orange is coral in the ocean, the grey is the stingray, the black is the swallow, and the alien has wings like a dragonfly, blue eyes and multicoloured stripped ears.

It is lovely to have a private art tour by your imaginative kid. I wish I could do it more often, but I suspect that high school might have less art shows. I hope I'm wrong.

RENOVATIONS LOST AND BREATHING GRACE

The hardest thing about dividing patrimony wasn't losing all of the investment growth in the house and paying him out, surprisingly, (which was pretty bad, and the loan weighs heavy) because at least I kept the house for me and my daughter, but it was the renovation budget that got lost that I miss the most.

When we (it's funny I say we. I had the downpayment. I paid the weekly mortgage amounts. We signed a document together, so people think I should say we) bought the house, the owner wasn't honest, and when it flooded, the insurance didn't cover it. We (he did get a lump sum in when his great aunt died and gave him an inheritance) paid off the house, but any renovation savings went to french drains and sump pumps and shingles and furnaces, so that, finally, after more than a decade, we were still in the planning stages of the fun stuff, including the bathroom and kitchen, so that when we split, there was finally enough to do the bathroom and much needed kitchen updates, like floors and countertops.

Turns out I should have spent the money. If I owed something, I could have had the money to pay it off. It is so messed up that my responsibility has cost me me so much yet again. And this hurts. I won't have savings for many more years, and already the waiting is driving me crazy, because it has already been so long.

So when I visited a friend, I was surprised that she didn't seem to be driven to replace her dated bathroom tiles and fixtures or update the basement. At first I think I actually felt sorry for her. Because I felt sorry for myself, and my equally dated, arguably less kept up house. Maybe her finances had been too tight. Maybe her and husband weren't handy or had enough designer flare. But after staying with her for a few days, I saw her priorities. She had nice things. She had taken nice trips. She was on a budget clearly, but she spent her money on people and hospitality. She saw her kids and exercised her body before she spent money on her house. She had enough in the fridge for hosting crowds every week. She didn't care that the bed had no matching headboard, just that is was comfortable and available for a friend seeking shelter. Why did I care so much? I had lived for years in rentals that were much more rundown.

I was being Martha and she was Mary. I would love my ceramic from the 50s to be replaced. The tub with patches of ceramic broken and scratched to be changed.  The toilet that only flushes if you hold it down a really long time. The stick down square vinyl tiles in my kitchen to all match. The oak floors that needed redoing when we moved in 13 years ago still need redoing. I have no budget to do any of it, and it bothers me with the injustice of this. It seems doable and frustrating at not doing it still. I am bitter and complaining like Martha did to Jesus. And there are moments when I totally agree with Martha and think Jesus unfair to her. But in this, I see my friend's house, and then I see mine, and I try and see this not as renovations lost, but of priorities regained.

I have a roof over my head and a solid floor. My sump pump keeps my basement dry and my furnace keeps my daughter and I warm. I repainted the front room trim and radiator to welcome friends to a cleaner look. I vacuum the cat hair and wash the windowsills and decorate for Christmas, and my daughter notices and my friends visit and enjoy, and I think, ah, Mary, so this is what you see. Love doesn't  have to look good in a magazine. It is not a perfect picture. It is a cared for place, with space to craft and eat and break bread together. It is a couch to cuddle on, and a purring kitty in your lap, and a friend who brings birthday cake. It is a place bigger than I need with a purpose I want to share with more. But for now, and how it is, it is enough.

Thank you, dear friend, for the lessons I learn from  you, your life, your house, your amazing grace,  purest love and generous hospitality!

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS AND DATA TO DATE

BODY

DO SOMETHING
1 snow shoed circles in the yard for 5 km, sometimes running
2 walked circles in the yard and pulled the sled around the streets to admire the super Wolf moon rising
3 cross country skied at The Cap

CLEAN SOMETHING
1 living room window sills
2 shower doors
3 dishes and laundry

FIND MONEY SOMEWHERE
1 deposit check
2
3 use points instead of money

BOOK SOMETHING
3 our next flight

COOK SOMETHING
1 lentil soup
2 french toast
3 egg noodles and wonton shells

MIND

LEARN SOMETHING
1 Bacterial Meningitis in adults: first Strep Pneumococcus second Neisseria meningitidis Incubation Period 2-10 days third H flu  Incubation Period 2-4 days (all these have vaccines), then Listeria monocytogenes
2
3 Whales can't digest squid lips so they accumulate in their stomach

BLOG SOMETHING (WRITE)
need some time to catchup!

FIX SOMETHING
1
2 hang bookshelf doors
3

SOUL

TALK TO SOMEONE
1 Shaden
2 Karyn
3 Liz

REMEMBER/ HONOR SOMETHING
1 White Christmas and Bing Crosby/Rosemary Clooney magic
2 Bridge To Terabithia
3 Grandma's piano skills